As a Child
My childhood as a kid.7 total reviews
Comment from Gypsy Blue Rose
Hello anonymous
Great entry for the Childhood writing prompt contest. Good rhyming scheme but seems forced in places. I like the presentation too, simple but nice.
It sounds like you had a happy childhood. :)
Good luck in the contest.
reply by the author on 12-Jan-2021
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Hello anonymous
Great entry for the Childhood writing prompt contest. Good rhyming scheme but seems forced in places. I like the presentation too, simple but nice.
It sounds like you had a happy childhood. :)
Good luck in the contest.
Comment Written 12-Jan-2021
reply by the author on 12-Jan-2021
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Thanks! I hope that I win.
Comment from Liz O'Neill
Many readers will be drawn in to identify with this journey down memory lane. They will re-experience the delights. Some will share in the after-note. They will share in the grieving of those days gone by.
reply by the author on 12-Jan-2021
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Many readers will be drawn in to identify with this journey down memory lane. They will re-experience the delights. Some will share in the after-note. They will share in the grieving of those days gone by.
Comment Written 12-Jan-2021
reply by the author on 12-Jan-2021
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Thank you!
Comment from lyenochka
It sounds like you had a happy childhood! You mention your family and the playing and enjoying your toys. You have good rhymes. I think you might want to practice more regular meter. Best wishes in the contest!
reply by the author on 10-Jan-2021
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It sounds like you had a happy childhood! You mention your family and the playing and enjoying your toys. You have good rhymes. I think you might want to practice more regular meter. Best wishes in the contest!
Comment Written 10-Jan-2021
reply by the author on 10-Jan-2021
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Thank you! I hope that I win. Wish me luck!
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Good luck!
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Thanks!
Comment from Iza Deleanu
Mmm, sweet childhood no work just play, ole:) "
Me as a child,
I was a boy wild,
being in my younger years,
I never shed tears." Thank you for sharing and good luck with the contest.
reply by the author on 10-Jan-2021
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Mmm, sweet childhood no work just play, ole:) "
Me as a child,
I was a boy wild,
being in my younger years,
I never shed tears." Thank you for sharing and good luck with the contest.
Comment Written 10-Jan-2021
reply by the author on 10-Jan-2021
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Thanks! I hope that I win.
Comment from Carol Clark2
This is a good start to a poem that shows some potential. I'd love to see you work on the rhythm a bit, so it flows more regularly in spots. Also, I feel like the rhyme scheme is a bit forced with strive/five, and advice/toy device. I do like your idea of being free to play as a child, not doing much work, and still taking your family's advice as your grew. I'm glad childhood was such a happy time for you.
reply by the author on 10-Jan-2021
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This is a good start to a poem that shows some potential. I'd love to see you work on the rhythm a bit, so it flows more regularly in spots. Also, I feel like the rhyme scheme is a bit forced with strive/five, and advice/toy device. I do like your idea of being free to play as a child, not doing much work, and still taking your family's advice as your grew. I'm glad childhood was such a happy time for you.
Comment Written 10-Jan-2021
reply by the author on 10-Jan-2021
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Thank you! What rhymes should I do to make these words rhyme? I'm open to suggestions.
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I usually play with the words in the thought I want to express, to see if I can come up with a better rhyme or a better way of saying it. You can find rhymes online also. Hope this helps.
Comment from Rosalie Lawrence
Cute, but I bet you could have reached down a little 'deeper' if you had taken more time to grind this out. There were a few hints that you were a tough little nut, the ending was kinda cute too. Good luck in life and in the contest.
reply by the author on 10-Jan-2021
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Cute, but I bet you could have reached down a little 'deeper' if you had taken more time to grind this out. There were a few hints that you were a tough little nut, the ending was kinda cute too. Good luck in life and in the contest.
Comment Written 10-Jan-2021
reply by the author on 10-Jan-2021
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Thanks!
Comment from Lance S. Loria
This is about childhood but not a poem for children. It is in the wrong category. The lines are choppy and the rhymes are forced. It causes the meanings of the lines to lose cohesiveness. The entire poem lacks an overall message. The poet had one objective...make one line rhyme with another regardless the message or meaning. This poem needs to go back to the workshop for a lot of thoughtful editing.
reply by the author on 10-Jan-2021
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This is about childhood but not a poem for children. It is in the wrong category. The lines are choppy and the rhymes are forced. It causes the meanings of the lines to lose cohesiveness. The entire poem lacks an overall message. The poet had one objective...make one line rhyme with another regardless the message or meaning. This poem needs to go back to the workshop for a lot of thoughtful editing.
Comment Written 10-Jan-2021
reply by the author on 10-Jan-2021
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Okay.
