Comment from Raffaelina Lowcock

Excellent

Our family gatherings hold the most important spot in our memories. No way we are going to forget those many times we melded together, with good or bad dialogue. Well done. This is so typical.

Note:
I course I said it,>> I think you mean: "I of course"

Ralf

 Comment Written 12-Jan-2021

Comment from Laurie Holding

Excellent

This was efficiently written, not too long, and we're in that room with you, with all the senses involved. We had to ask to be excused from the table, too, but our verbiage was, "May I please be excused?" Ha! Good luck in the contest! You'll have my vote!

 Comment Written 11-Jan-2021

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reply by the author on 11-Jan-2021

Thanks for your review. At least your ritual was short and understandable. The word "sufficient" can be hard for a10yo to say let alone know the meaning of.

Comment from giraffmang

Excellent

Hi there,

It's funny what sticks with us. Something seemingly so small can have such relevance.

blaring from the kitchen radio "Da, da, da da da da da daaaa da da da da da da, da daaaa, da, daaaa" - all the use of 'da' is unnecessary here. If anyone doesn't know the theme, this won't help. It's really just filler.

"What do you say?"

Dad's voice would boom out, - I would probably present this on one line. When the voice comes, the reader has no idea who said it until the next line.

I course I said it. - this reads awkwardly.

All the best
GMG

 Comment Written 10-Jan-2021

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reply by the author on 10-Jan-2021

Thanks for your review and suggestions. I have made changes accordingly.

Comment from Wendy G

Excellent

A great piece of writing from Australia! It was the same at home. Ours was simply "May I leave the table please" as the required phrase! Never "Can I ..." !God must look down on all parents in all the different houses and smile!) Thanks for sharing this nostalgic memory.

 Comment Written 10-Jan-2021

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reply by the author on 10-Jan-2021

Thanks for your review. It's funny how what you found annoying as a kid turns out to be one of your fond memories.

Comment from lancellot

Excellent

Nice. Yes, it is those sort of moments or everyday rituals that become imprinted on young minds. It gave kids a sense of normalcy. It was something to expect, that they could count on. I think that is a good thing.

Well written. Good entry.

 Comment Written 10-Jan-2021

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reply by the author on 10-Jan-2021

Thanks for your review. Yes, it was expected although not always with the best of enthusiasm!!

Comment from Alli Johnston

Excellent

My parents never enforced family meal time and they had an early divorce in my childhood. It's so heartwarming to read these stories! Best of luck in the contest

 Comment Written 10-Jan-2021

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reply by the author on 10-Jan-2021

Thanks for your review. Glad you enjoyed.

Comment from kmoss

Excellent

This is a specific, significant memory that you described very well. I could picture breakfast time at your house and smell the bacon. This sentence confused me: I course I said it.
Overall good job.

 Comment Written 10-Jan-2021

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reply by the author on 10-Jan-2021

Thanks for your review. That breakfast scene has always been one of my favourite memories.