Dreamland
When night comes, I go to...22 total reviews
Comment from dragonpoet
What an interesting dream. I can see why it inpired you and why you want it to repeat.
Congrats on the third place finish.
Keep writing and stay healthy
dp
reply by the author on 23-Mar-2021
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What an interesting dream. I can see why it inpired you and why you want it to repeat.
Congrats on the third place finish.
Keep writing and stay healthy
dp
Comment Written 23-Mar-2021
reply by the author on 23-Mar-2021
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Thank you for reading my poem and for this great review. :)
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Don't mention it.
dp
Comment from Elizabeth Emerald
Congrats on your prize for this lovely and elegant poem--delightful whimsy--I envy you your wonderful dreams--you've nailed the dream imagery! Cheers. LIZ
reply by the author on 15-Mar-2021
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Congrats on your prize for this lovely and elegant poem--delightful whimsy--I envy you your wonderful dreams--you've nailed the dream imagery! Cheers. LIZ
Comment Written 15-Mar-2021
reply by the author on 15-Mar-2021
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Thank you for this great review...I was surprised that I placed in third! Thanks again., :)
Comment from Joanne Gill-Maddick
This is a Nicely written rhyming poem. It has a Nice flow and rhyme scheme. Great photo to go with your poem. Love your colour choice for background and font. Very Interesting dream. Good luck in the contest.
reply by the author on 15-Feb-2021
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This is a Nicely written rhyming poem. It has a Nice flow and rhyme scheme. Great photo to go with your poem. Love your colour choice for background and font. Very Interesting dream. Good luck in the contest.
Comment Written 15-Feb-2021
reply by the author on 15-Feb-2021
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Thank you, I really appreciate your comments. :)
Comment from robyn corum
Hello, my dear one!
What a delightful trip through dreamland you've shared~! This was a lot of fun. The opening had me a wee bit confused - i just have to let you in on that in case anyone else has the problem. I was enchanted by those dancers so I kinda let the fairy lights escape me at first. When we got to the second stanza I was confused when you were off and then they were following YOU. I guess my assumption was that the fairy lights were a part of them???
I might suggest highlighting the fairy lights in some way - a different color, enlarging the font, italicizing, etc. But that's just me - you are a pro and don't need me telling you what to do. On the other hand.... hahaha I just can't help myself! Below are a couple other notes:
1.) and I joined in though I danced all alone.
--> and I joined in although I danced alone
2.) inspired, I wrote down each thing (that) I saw,
3.) There'll be there waiting, some (unique) surprise.
--> maybe a harder working word than 'other'
That's it. I think this is absolutely adorable and a great entry for the contest. Thanks and good luck!
reply by the author on 15-Feb-2021
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Hello, my dear one!
What a delightful trip through dreamland you've shared~! This was a lot of fun. The opening had me a wee bit confused - i just have to let you in on that in case anyone else has the problem. I was enchanted by those dancers so I kinda let the fairy lights escape me at first. When we got to the second stanza I was confused when you were off and then they were following YOU. I guess my assumption was that the fairy lights were a part of them???
I might suggest highlighting the fairy lights in some way - a different color, enlarging the font, italicizing, etc. But that's just me - you are a pro and don't need me telling you what to do. On the other hand.... hahaha I just can't help myself! Below are a couple other notes:
1.) and I joined in though I danced all alone.
--> and I joined in although I danced alone
2.) inspired, I wrote down each thing (that) I saw,
3.) There'll be there waiting, some (unique) surprise.
--> maybe a harder working word than 'other'
That's it. I think this is absolutely adorable and a great entry for the contest. Thanks and good luck!
Comment Written 15-Feb-2021
reply by the author on 15-Feb-2021
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Thank you so much for all your valuable advice and excellent suggestions. I've already made changes. Thank you for helping me improve as a writer. :)
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So welcome!
Comment from Susan Newell
This is a delightful rhyming poem describing your dream fantasy. It was fun to read, and to picture it all. The only place I had a reading hitch was here :
. . . . fairy light.
Then a picture . . .
Could you do as well with a comma after light and elimination of Then?
reply by the author on 15-Feb-2021
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This is a delightful rhyming poem describing your dream fantasy. It was fun to read, and to picture it all. The only place I had a reading hitch was here :
. . . . fairy light.
Then a picture . . .
Could you do as well with a comma after light and elimination of Then?
Comment Written 15-Feb-2021
reply by the author on 15-Feb-2021
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This is an excellent suggestion, I have already changed it...thank you! This is how I improve, because of wonderful reviewers like you. Thanks again.:)
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Sometimes it's hard to see things in our own writing that we would notice in that of others. I know I can fall in love with my own words. It took a writers' group and some firm criticism to pound at least some of that out of me. :-)
Comment from Julie Sandy
Really great poem, I love the imagery, it really takes the reader on a journey through your dreams, which is quite magical.
Thank you for sharing
Good luck in the competition
reply by the author on 15-Jan-2021
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Really great poem, I love the imagery, it really takes the reader on a journey through your dreams, which is quite magical.
Thank you for sharing
Good luck in the competition
Comment Written 15-Jan-2021
reply by the author on 15-Jan-2021
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Thank you, for this very nice review and for taking the time to read my poem. :)
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your welcome
Comment from dovemarie
Dear Boogienights, Lovely words about a dream you had of "shadow dancers." I liked the italicized purple wording, made me feel as though I was in the dream with you. Like you, I can't draw, so I paint my words in poetry. Good luck in the contest. Dove
reply by the author on 14-Jan-2021
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Dear Boogienights, Lovely words about a dream you had of "shadow dancers." I liked the italicized purple wording, made me feel as though I was in the dream with you. Like you, I can't draw, so I paint my words in poetry. Good luck in the contest. Dove
Comment Written 14-Jan-2021
reply by the author on 14-Jan-2021
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Thank you for this lovely 6 star review....it's so kind of you. I like your poet name, dovemarie, it's very beautiful. :)
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Dear Boogienights, you're welcome. Thank you for enjoying my Fan Story name, it comes from the Holy Spirit, who appears in the form of a dove, and my middle name is Marie.
Comment from CrystieCookie999
I rather like the sound of 'shadow dancers.' I think this read pretty smoothly. A couple of times the meter was slightly off. The first stanza was perfect on meter, though. The remaining stanzas might be called 'loose iambic meter' unless you want to tweak it a little.
Only one suggestion for now, though: There'll be there waiting, some other surprise.
Maybe try:
But waiting there, I'll find some new surprise.
That makes the meter more regular again. (Iambic).
If you think that takes the emphasis off the surprise itself, maybe try:
I'll find it waiting--some unknown surprise.
reply by the author on 14-Jan-2021
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I rather like the sound of 'shadow dancers.' I think this read pretty smoothly. A couple of times the meter was slightly off. The first stanza was perfect on meter, though. The remaining stanzas might be called 'loose iambic meter' unless you want to tweak it a little.
Only one suggestion for now, though: There'll be there waiting, some other surprise.
Maybe try:
But waiting there, I'll find some new surprise.
That makes the meter more regular again. (Iambic).
If you think that takes the emphasis off the surprise itself, maybe try:
I'll find it waiting--some unknown surprise.
Comment Written 14-Jan-2021
reply by the author on 14-Jan-2021
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Thank you for reading my poem and for this nice review. To be honest, I rarely pay attention to things like meter, although I know it's important. Your suggestions are very welcome and I'll look over my poem again. :)
Comment from Sole Searcher
Very nice. I was imagining myself dancing with the shadow dancers and chasing the light while reading.
Dreams are our very own fairytales. Keep on dreaming.
Thank you for sharing.
reply by the author on 14-Jan-2021
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Very nice. I was imagining myself dancing with the shadow dancers and chasing the light while reading.
Dreams are our very own fairytales. Keep on dreaming.
Thank you for sharing.
Comment Written 14-Jan-2021
reply by the author on 14-Jan-2021
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Thank you. You are right, dreams are a place to go to escape our mundane lives. Thanks again for reading. :)
Comment from WriterHeather
This is so very beautiful and imaginative! I just love it so freaking much! Its sounds like such a wonderful dream, I wish I could have a dream like this! And it's so skillfully written
reply by the author on 12-Jan-2021
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This is so very beautiful and imaginative! I just love it so freaking much! Its sounds like such a wonderful dream, I wish I could have a dream like this! And it's so skillfully written
Comment Written 12-Jan-2021
reply by the author on 12-Jan-2021
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Thanks so my for this dream of a review. :)
