Once Upon a Dream
A perfect illusion.49 total reviews
Comment from mauial
Nice write. I think this is something that teenagers experience a lot. They live in fantasies. I did anyway ð???. Now what was so real we as older ones may only occasionally dream of that fantasy
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Nice write. I think this is something that teenagers experience a lot. They live in fantasies. I did anyway ð???. Now what was so real we as older ones may only occasionally dream of that fantasy
Comment Written 08-Jan-2021
Comment from Jaime Deagle
You did a great job on this piece. It was beautifully done. You were able to convey a lot of emotion with it. Thanks for sharing your writing and as always keep on writing.
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You did a great job on this piece. It was beautifully done. You were able to convey a lot of emotion with it. Thanks for sharing your writing and as always keep on writing.
Comment Written 08-Jan-2021
Comment from nomi338
The perfect mate may only exist within the framework of a dream. The real person will not come without marks, shortcomings, defects of varying degrees. So, perhaps the very best solution is to remain in a dreamlike state where perfect love with the perfect mate is possible.
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The perfect mate may only exist within the framework of a dream. The real person will not come without marks, shortcomings, defects of varying degrees. So, perhaps the very best solution is to remain in a dreamlike state where perfect love with the perfect mate is possible.
Comment Written 08-Jan-2021
Comment from Eternal Muse
A very original entry in the Monorhyme contest. You used great creative imagery and visuals. Great choice of an artwork. Your refrain "Once upon a dream" works well here.
Good luck in the contest.
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A very original entry in the Monorhyme contest. You used great creative imagery and visuals. Great choice of an artwork. Your refrain "Once upon a dream" works well here.
Good luck in the contest.
Comment Written 08-Jan-2021
Comment from TPAC
Sweet rips. I'm loving the smooth flow contained in this read with precise blade cuts making an exciting work. I found this write creative and imaginative in its composition. All views stated in my opinion.
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Sweet rips. I'm loving the smooth flow contained in this read with precise blade cuts making an exciting work. I found this write creative and imaginative in its composition. All views stated in my opinion.
Comment Written 08-Jan-2021
Comment from joycetreasures
Hello Opal,
I like your Monorhyme poem and its repetition of your words. Also, I like your imagery of the "Once upon a Dream" journal. The message in your poem is clear, true love is really once upon a dream. I like the flow and the rhyming of your words. Good job in the flow structure within your stanzas. Awesome that you won blue ribbon and all time best.
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Hello Opal,
I like your Monorhyme poem and its repetition of your words. Also, I like your imagery of the "Once upon a Dream" journal. The message in your poem is clear, true love is really once upon a dream. I like the flow and the rhyming of your words. Good job in the flow structure within your stanzas. Awesome that you won blue ribbon and all time best.
Comment Written 08-Jan-2021
Comment from karenina
I miss the flow that would make this more cohesive-while all thoughts were coherent they each felt a bit like separate thought bubbles strung together. Your author's comments (in my humble opinion) detracted from the poem in that they detracted from whatever meaning the reader had derived and inserted your intended meaning. Who knows with these contests how you will fair? I certainly admire you for thinking outside the box. Best of luck...Karenina
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I miss the flow that would make this more cohesive-while all thoughts were coherent they each felt a bit like separate thought bubbles strung together. Your author's comments (in my humble opinion) detracted from the poem in that they detracted from whatever meaning the reader had derived and inserted your intended meaning. Who knows with these contests how you will fair? I certainly admire you for thinking outside the box. Best of luck...Karenina
Comment Written 07-Jan-2021
Comment from Jay Squires
I like your poem, Opal. It, in a sad way, rewarded the reader with a dream that becomes a reality that, over time, self-destructs, until the only new reality is the dream.
Frankly, I did not like the author's comments, and inasmuch as your poem is entered in a contest, it would be less helpful not to tell you why. When your Author Comments explain the poem it tells the reader, "since I don't think you have the brainpower to understand my poem, let me tell you what it means." Opal, I'm sure that's not your intention, but that's how it comes across to me. And I'm afraid it might do the same for some of the judges. Personally, I would remove it at once. Or at least query your friends here as to their feelings. Jay
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I like your poem, Opal. It, in a sad way, rewarded the reader with a dream that becomes a reality that, over time, self-destructs, until the only new reality is the dream.
Frankly, I did not like the author's comments, and inasmuch as your poem is entered in a contest, it would be less helpful not to tell you why. When your Author Comments explain the poem it tells the reader, "since I don't think you have the brainpower to understand my poem, let me tell you what it means." Opal, I'm sure that's not your intention, but that's how it comes across to me. And I'm afraid it might do the same for some of the judges. Personally, I would remove it at once. Or at least query your friends here as to their feelings. Jay
Comment Written 07-Jan-2021
Comment from amada
This is a very nicely written work. It somehow calls to the sense of wander and illusion like. These lines are precious: "Once upon a dream," and immediately started to think of my very own once upon a dream...Insightful.
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This is a very nicely written work. It somehow calls to the sense of wander and illusion like. These lines are precious: "Once upon a dream," and immediately started to think of my very own once upon a dream...Insightful.
Comment Written 07-Jan-2021
Comment from Boogienights
Very well written entry for the mono- rhyme contest. I like the repetitive cadance of the poem, almost sing song in the way you laid it out. If course all the end words rhymed. Good luck in the contest. :)
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Very well written entry for the mono- rhyme contest. I like the repetitive cadance of the poem, almost sing song in the way you laid it out. If course all the end words rhymed. Good luck in the contest. :)
Comment Written 07-Jan-2021