Hoping for Another Go-Around
A fallen apple hopes her mother tree will take him in again.5 total reviews
Comment from tempeste
Ciao mystery poet..you have two votes now.
Your poem was a delight to read. ..
.. the Apple preferred to be picked and eaten by a person but ultimately it still did serve to feed a bird ..
I like how you described the different stages of the apple through the eyes of the Apple itself .. creative writing indeed!
You deserve a place on the podium ..
reply by the author on 06-Jan-2021
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Ciao mystery poet..you have two votes now.
Your poem was a delight to read. ..
.. the Apple preferred to be picked and eaten by a person but ultimately it still did serve to feed a bird ..
I like how you described the different stages of the apple through the eyes of the Apple itself .. creative writing indeed!
You deserve a place on the podium ..
Comment Written 06-Jan-2021
reply by the author on 06-Jan-2021
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Thank you for your vote and for the read and feedback.
Comment from JanPerry
The poetry is splendid, a real eye catcher. The white bold is kind of unnecessary, a more decorative font would serve the poem better.
The picture is exemplary, love the apple, thanks for entering my subject.
reply by the author on 06-Jan-2021
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The poetry is splendid, a real eye catcher. The white bold is kind of unnecessary, a more decorative font would serve the poem better.
The picture is exemplary, love the apple, thanks for entering my subject.
Comment Written 05-Jan-2021
reply by the author on 06-Jan-2021
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Thanks for the read and review and the contest.
Comment from LisaMay
You set the scene in the orchard well here, and your tale of the apple maturing right through to its final rotting is a graphic depiction of its life cycle, by way of incorporating so many colours.
In the following line, could you explain to me what the difference is between 'blacking' and 'blackening'? (also, you need to change the I'm to I)
Blacking, blackening, I'm was left hanging, just my core
reply by the author on 04-Jan-2021
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You set the scene in the orchard well here, and your tale of the apple maturing right through to its final rotting is a graphic depiction of its life cycle, by way of incorporating so many colours.
In the following line, could you explain to me what the difference is between 'blacking' and 'blackening'? (also, you need to change the I'm to I)
Blacking, blackening, I'm was left hanging, just my core
Comment Written 04-Jan-2021
reply by the author on 04-Jan-2021
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No difference between blacking and blackening wanted to make syllable count in each line in this section 13. Thanks for catch on I'm.
Always appreciate your help.
Comment from Earl Corp
I love when human characteristics are attributed to inantimate objects like you did here in your poem. Good luck in the contest. Stay safe and stay healthy in the new year.
reply by the author on 04-Jan-2021
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I love when human characteristics are attributed to inantimate objects like you did here in your poem. Good luck in the contest. Stay safe and stay healthy in the new year.
Comment Written 04-Jan-2021
reply by the author on 04-Jan-2021
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Thank you for the read and the review. Much appreciated.
Comment from Y. M. Roger
Your mixed verse seems to be a metaphor for a life of one left behind, passed over but with the promise that the life cycle will continue - wonderful idea!! ;) :) Although by choice you have no set rhythm, it is difficult to find an easy flow to follow your lines especially with the large variation in line length and the large number of them that end in the word 'me'.... Thank you for sharing and best of luck! ;)
reply by the author on 04-Jan-2021
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Your mixed verse seems to be a metaphor for a life of one left behind, passed over but with the promise that the life cycle will continue - wonderful idea!! ;) :) Although by choice you have no set rhythm, it is difficult to find an easy flow to follow your lines especially with the large variation in line length and the large number of them that end in the word 'me'.... Thank you for sharing and best of luck! ;)
Comment Written 04-Jan-2021
reply by the author on 04-Jan-2021
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Tried to keep the same syllable count 13 in the first, nine in the last, guess it did not work for rhythm. Thanks for the feedback I will work.
