The Spirit of the Wind
Viewing comments for Chapter 23 "Captive!"Newylwed homesteader Jane becomes a widow
12 total reviews
Comment from Alaskastory
"Captive!" is quite a suspenseful scene with Jane in such a terrifying fate. You've done a great job with so much detail. Of course, every reader is wishing the next chapter was there. Well done.
  |
"Captive!" is quite a suspenseful scene with Jane in such a terrifying fate. You've done a great job with so much detail. Of course, every reader is wishing the next chapter was there. Well done.
Comment Written 01-Jan-2021
Comment from Mastery
Hi Stan. This is a well-defined chapter my friend. Your writing is stellar. Like this for instance:
"My heart fisted in fear, as I watched in horror painted warriors dancing with knives around men tied to stakes set for a fire. The whole camp seemed a fevered pitch. All I had left inside to keep me sane, was that little light of mine, the one hidden in my soul for such a dark hour."
Bravo! Happy New Year! Bob
|
Hi Stan. This is a well-defined chapter my friend. Your writing is stellar. Like this for instance:
"My heart fisted in fear, as I watched in horror painted warriors dancing with knives around men tied to stakes set for a fire. The whole camp seemed a fevered pitch. All I had left inside to keep me sane, was that little light of mine, the one hidden in my soul for such a dark hour."
Bravo! Happy New Year! Bob
Comment Written 30-Dec-2020
Comment from thaities, Rebecca V.
This is a mesmerizing post that is true to the history of Indian captives and their horrendous deaths. I could feel their pain from your great writing. Well done!
|
This is a mesmerizing post that is true to the history of Indian captives and their horrendous deaths. I could feel their pain from your great writing. Well done!
Comment Written 29-Dec-2020
Comment from robyn corum
Stan,
Wow. This is a pretty horrific and nasty passage of your story. But I know it is true to the times --just something that not many writers have dared get into, and I see why. This was handled well and very realistically. Thanks!
reply by the author on 29-Dec-2020
 |
Stan,
Wow. This is a pretty horrific and nasty passage of your story. But I know it is true to the times --just something that not many writers have dared get into, and I see why. This was handled well and very realistically. Thanks!
Comment Written 28-Dec-2020
reply by the author on 29-Dec-2020
-
Robyn, I really appreciate this from you. You understand how realism and the west doesn't always see eye to eye. Blessings.
Comment from Robert Zimmerman
Hello Stan.
This chapter is extremely well-written. Your recall of the warning from Thad is eye-opening. Your narration of chain being taken into the camp is vivid and clear. It certainly showed a fear that she was coming to grips with.
The interaction with the Indian squaw was revealing of the whole situation. She began to fear that no one would help her. The young squaw was troubled with Jane being taken and offered good counsel.
This chapter is very descriptive and well-written.
Robert
|
Hello Stan.
This chapter is extremely well-written. Your recall of the warning from Thad is eye-opening. Your narration of chain being taken into the camp is vivid and clear. It certainly showed a fear that she was coming to grips with.
The interaction with the Indian squaw was revealing of the whole situation. She began to fear that no one would help her. The young squaw was troubled with Jane being taken and offered good counsel.
This chapter is very descriptive and well-written.
Robert
Comment Written 28-Dec-2020
Comment from Mistydawn
Things don't look very promising for Jane. I do hope they spare her life, not do unspeakable things to her. Your story is very well-written, interesting, suspenseful start to finish. I was on the edge of my seat the entire time. Your great description, word choice paints a vivid yet horrific picture in the reader's mind. I tried to pick a favorite part, but it's all so good I can't choose. Terrific job. I look forward to reading more.
|
Things don't look very promising for Jane. I do hope they spare her life, not do unspeakable things to her. Your story is very well-written, interesting, suspenseful start to finish. I was on the edge of my seat the entire time. Your great description, word choice paints a vivid yet horrific picture in the reader's mind. I tried to pick a favorite part, but it's all so good I can't choose. Terrific job. I look forward to reading more.
Comment Written 28-Dec-2020
Comment from royowen
I can't say I enjoyed this at any stage, cruelty as explicit as this I would avoid normally, I wish I could say I was looking forward to the next, at least there was an branch with the half breed girl, thank you, blessings Roy
Typo : Into (an) ancient city 2: carved by nature('s) 3: seemed a(t) fever(ed) pitch
reply by the author on 28-Dec-2020
|
I can't say I enjoyed this at any stage, cruelty as explicit as this I would avoid normally, I wish I could say I was looking forward to the next, at least there was an branch with the half breed girl, thank you, blessings Roy
Typo : Into (an) ancient city 2: carved by nature('s) 3: seemed a(t) fever(ed) pitch
Comment Written 28-Dec-2020
reply by the author on 28-Dec-2020
-
I had a difficult time reading as extensively as I did the many stories of women captives. There was such horrific stories, I kind of regretted reading some of it so I could understand the realities of their sufferings and the triumph of their faith.
-
Sorry dear friend, i should understand, well done
-
In the next chapter Jane learns that the half-breed had been kidnapped and retells her story of being raised in a Christian mission, believing that the Lord will provide them both a means of escape. Please stay-tuned and thanks for your patience.
-
I knew you had an olive branch
Comment from Ben Colder
You never spared what did happen that history may or may not reveal. Like the little Mystery girl. You give the reader a spark of hope. The old gal who is mean to her is typical among most. However, she could play an interesting part.
Well done Bro.
|
You never spared what did happen that history may or may not reveal. Like the little Mystery girl. You give the reader a spark of hope. The old gal who is mean to her is typical among most. However, she could play an interesting part.
Well done Bro.
Comment Written 27-Dec-2020
Comment from MissMerri
I'm way behind in my reading/reviewing and I apologize, but I enjoyed reading his chapter and hope to go back and start at the beginning of the story. In the meantime, I can already tell it is a page-turner and I greatly admire your imagination. Also, I am in awe of your ability to create scenes with mere words that are as vivid and colorful as a movie.
A couple of suggestions: I think you spell t-pee like this: teepee. (but I could be wrong) I'm pretty sure a lock of hair is spelled LOCK though, rather than loch.
A very captivating bit of writing, as your stories usually are.
reply by the author on 28-Dec-2020
|
I'm way behind in my reading/reviewing and I apologize, but I enjoyed reading his chapter and hope to go back and start at the beginning of the story. In the meantime, I can already tell it is a page-turner and I greatly admire your imagination. Also, I am in awe of your ability to create scenes with mere words that are as vivid and colorful as a movie.
A couple of suggestions: I think you spell t-pee like this: teepee. (but I could be wrong) I'm pretty sure a lock of hair is spelled LOCK though, rather than loch.
A very captivating bit of writing, as your stories usually are.
Comment Written 27-Dec-2020
reply by the author on 28-Dec-2020
-
I feel like I need to apologize, because this installment is the most violent to date and I try to write with realism but also in a way that will be acceptable to Christian tastes. It is about a homesteader with true grit and faith determined to keep her land during the Indian outbreak of 1864
Comment from BethShelby
Wow! This is a very violent chapter. It is horrible what these Indians are doing to other human being. I sure this is based on truth of what has actually happened and that is what has made it so hard to read. I sure it much have been hard to write as well. I hope there is a guardian angel somewhere to come to her rescue.
reply by the author on 29-Dec-2020
|
Wow! This is a very violent chapter. It is horrible what these Indians are doing to other human being. I sure this is based on truth of what has actually happened and that is what has made it so hard to read. I sure it much have been hard to write as well. I hope there is a guardian angel somewhere to come to her rescue.
Comment Written 27-Dec-2020
reply by the author on 29-Dec-2020
-
Thanks Beth! I read extensively on true stories of captive women and plan to also use their true grit and faith. Soon Jane will plot her escape, deciding not to wait to be ransomed.
-
You have created an amazing character in Jane. I enjoy your writing. I miss Chuck writing about the Indians. I sorry he took it all off FanStory.
Beth
-
You mean, Charlie the western writer. I remember him.
-
No I mean Ben Colder. His real name's Chuck. He pulled all his portfolio off of FanStory. He writes about the some of ths same Indians that you write about. I remember Charlie too. I think he died recently.
-
Stupid me. I didn't know Ben Colder was his pen name. Yes, I've used him as my inspiration. He's the best!
