Reviews from

Hope for 2021

Contest entry

5 total reviews 
Comment from Liz O'Neill
Excellent
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This is such an excellent metaphor. I love you descriptive word usage. The setting is created to mirror our existance these days. There is so much I could say. I love this. I will vote for this.

 Comment Written 26-Dec-2020


reply by the author on 27-Dec-2020
    Thank you, Liz, for these kind words. This has been such a dark year for me, and it's hard to keep the darkness out of my words.
Comment from AshelinaB
Excellent
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This is wonderful! I like the imagery here, particularly the use of the word "pall." I feel like that's a rare one. Another thing I appreciate is how this poem starts out kind of hopeless, like most people feel about this year, I'm sure, but then ends on hope. There is even a bit of hope mixed into the first line since the dark winter still has or reflects some light, no? Awesome!
Thanks for this! :)

 Comment Written 23-Dec-2020


reply by the author on 23-Dec-2020
    Thank you so much for reading, rating, and commenting on this little 'ku. I'm so happy you saw some hope in that first line. It's been a horrid year, with so many flames dimming and flickering out. But there's hope for 2021.
reply by AshelinaB on 23-Dec-2020
    No problem!
    Yes :')
Comment from Susan X Smith
Excellent
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This poem is a respectable contest entry. The words have a soothing, calming effect, and many of us now feel and hope that we can at least take a breath before the New Year.

 Comment Written 23-Dec-2020


reply by the author on 23-Dec-2020
    Thank you, Susan. I've think you've found a solution: maybe if we all took one, huge breath (masked, of course), we could hold it until the New Year, when we can hope to breathe normally once again!
Comment from Andrelyn Izquierdo
Excellent
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The sea always has its many associations spreading through each type of mood. I sense a deep sadness with hope and optimism with what the next morning brings as we peak to another brand new beginning. I really like your haiku and the picture you chose for it.

 Comment Written 23-Dec-2020


reply by the author on 23-Dec-2020
    There was deep sadness in 2020, wasn't there, Andrelyn? Haiku is about seasons and nature, and there's nothing in nature more meaningful to me than the sea. I'm glad you liked this poem.
Comment from Patricia Cammish
Excellent
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This is an excellent 5-7-5 poem not only in syllable count but also in word selection, layout and choice of sympathetic illustration.
Perhaps changing 'Waiting for' into ' Awaiting the' might improve the flow of the last line .
Good luck

 Comment Written 23-Dec-2020


reply by the author on 23-Dec-2020
    Thank you, Patricia. I'm of the age that when I read a haiku, I hear the voice of David Carradine reading it as Kwai Chang Caine on the old TV show "Kung Fu". Maybe that's a bad thing! Thanks for reading and commenting.