Where Are All The Children
Viewing comments for Chapter 15 "Painful Memories"A vigilante takes down trafficing rings.
13 total reviews
Comment from Ulla
Hi Misty. This is another great chapter filled with a lot of tension. It's appalling what harm is done to those poor children. To me honest, I have difficulty to get my head around it, and yet I know it happens all the time. It doesn't make me feel better, though. Great writing. Ulla xx
reply by the author on 13-Dec-2020
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Hi Misty. This is another great chapter filled with a lot of tension. It's appalling what harm is done to those poor children. To me honest, I have difficulty to get my head around it, and yet I know it happens all the time. It doesn't make me feel better, though. Great writing. Ulla xx
Comment Written 13-Dec-2020
reply by the author on 13-Dec-2020
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Thank you so much for reading my chapter and for your fantastic six-star. It is hard to believe that someone would do that to an innocent child. I know they'll pay for it in the end, but like you, that doesn't make me feel better. I still say we should airdrop them in the jungles.
Thank you again for all your help, support, encouragement and friendship. It always means the world to me, take care.
Comment from Eternal Muse
This was horrid and terrifying. I can't understand what kind of monsters would do it to children. But there is Evil in this world and it is at play. I am glad the kids got to escape and these women freed them. The memory of the leader made my skin crawl.
Excellent imagery and Hitchcock-like suspense. Very well written. Thank you so much for sharing.
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reply by the author on 13-Dec-2020
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This was horrid and terrifying. I can't understand what kind of monsters would do it to children. But there is Evil in this world and it is at play. I am glad the kids got to escape and these women freed them. The memory of the leader made my skin crawl.
Excellent imagery and Hitchcock-like suspense. Very well written. Thank you so much for sharing.
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 13-Dec-2020
reply by the author on 13-Dec-2020
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Thank you so much for reading my chapter and for your encouraging words. Hitchcock like suspense is quite an honor. It is horrifying what the traffickers do. Not just the act, but what it does to them internally, to their soul. One victim said she was dead inside and was waiting for her body to catch up. What the leader went through happens to young girls every day.
Thank you so much for reading my chapter and your wonderful words. It means so much to me, take care.
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This is really horrifying, the evil, especially reading this at Christmas time; knowing so many poor children are subject to this now. Great writing!
Comment from RetroStarfish
Great chapter with lots going on. I can almost feel the tension in the squad room between Toni and the FBI agents.
The dialogue is crisp and realistic. There are a lot of good things with this chapter, but this paragraph confused me: "She plans to leave a few clues for the sergeant. Nothing too revealing, but enough to string them along. Let the detective know she's running the show."
Earlier in the chapter you'd made it clear Toni was a sergeant and you've referred to her as both a sergeant and a detective here. Perhaps "Let police know she's running..."
Fourth last paragraph "Abril glances up from a corps" should be corpse.
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The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
reply by the author on 13-Dec-2020
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Great chapter with lots going on. I can almost feel the tension in the squad room between Toni and the FBI agents.
The dialogue is crisp and realistic. There are a lot of good things with this chapter, but this paragraph confused me: "She plans to leave a few clues for the sergeant. Nothing too revealing, but enough to string them along. Let the detective know she's running the show."
Earlier in the chapter you'd made it clear Toni was a sergeant and you've referred to her as both a sergeant and a detective here. Perhaps "Let police know she's running..."
Fourth last paragraph "Abril glances up from a corps" should be corpse.
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 13-Dec-2020
reply by the author on 13-Dec-2020
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Thank you so much for reading my chapter and for catching my mistakes. Your help is always greatly appreciated. It's how I continue to learn and grow.
Thank you again for reading my story, take care.
