Ophelia
A Fusion Sonnet for the Potlach Club50 total reviews
Comment from Mastery
Hi Tony. I am totally bummed because I do not have six stars left to award this wonderful writing. So sorry because it is so very deserving. Your use of strong verbs seems to be key in this particular writing.
"A small wind blows, and ripples spread.
This tragic death asserted women's rights,.."
Good stuff. Take care, my talented friend. Bob
reply by the author on 07-Dec-2020
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Hi Tony. I am totally bummed because I do not have six stars left to award this wonderful writing. So sorry because it is so very deserving. Your use of strong verbs seems to be key in this particular writing.
"A small wind blows, and ripples spread.
This tragic death asserted women's rights,.."
Good stuff. Take care, my talented friend. Bob
Comment Written 04-Dec-2020
reply by the author on 07-Dec-2020
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Thanks, Bob. I appreciate your review and kind comments - always better than any sixth star could be. Best wishes, Tony
Comment from Mistydawn
What a sad poem, such a tragic fate. Your poem is well-written. Your great word choice, description, paints such a heart-wrenching story in the reader's mind. It shows us her struggles, what led to her demise. It makes us have empathy for the women, despite all she's done. Your artwork is perfect for the poem.
reply by the author on 05-Dec-2020
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What a sad poem, such a tragic fate. Your poem is well-written. Your great word choice, description, paints such a heart-wrenching story in the reader's mind. It shows us her struggles, what led to her demise. It makes us have empathy for the women, despite all she's done. Your artwork is perfect for the poem.
Comment Written 04-Dec-2020
reply by the author on 05-Dec-2020
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Thanks, Dawn. I appreciate your comments about this poem. I don't think a great deal of the form, but it was good exercise for the grey cells trying to make something of it. All the best, Tony.
Comment from Brandy Golden
This is beautifully written. The poem flows with brilliant imagery. Thank you for the explanation of a fusion sonnet as well. Good luck in the contest!
reply by the author on 05-Dec-2020
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This is beautifully written. The poem flows with brilliant imagery. Thank you for the explanation of a fusion sonnet as well. Good luck in the contest!
Comment Written 04-Dec-2020
reply by the author on 05-Dec-2020
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Thanks for the review, Brandy. Appreciated. Best wishes, Tony
Comment from Pantygynt
I could say much the same to you as I did reviewing Damommy's version of this form. In fact I will.
'I am not convinced that this form has much to do with the original idea of the sonnet as 'a little song. It seems to me that the sonneteer's art lies in saying all that needs to be said in just 14 lines. That said it takes nothing away from this effort. You have made a silk purse out of this sows ear of over complexity.
I just want to ask of him, not of you or Yvonne, why? What is the point?
reply by the author on 05-Dec-2020
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I could say much the same to you as I did reviewing Damommy's version of this form. In fact I will.
'I am not convinced that this form has much to do with the original idea of the sonnet as 'a little song. It seems to me that the sonneteer's art lies in saying all that needs to be said in just 14 lines. That said it takes nothing away from this effort. You have made a silk purse out of this sows ear of over complexity.
I just want to ask of him, not of you or Yvonne, why? What is the point?
Comment Written 04-Dec-2020
reply by the author on 05-Dec-2020
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Thanks for the review, Jim. An interesting challenge to keep the grey cells chugging over, but not a form that I'll be trying again.
Comment from Cynthia Adams1
Gosh, you give the Bard himself a run for his money with your modified sonnet.
It is beautifully written and the artwork is beautiful as well; it is a perfect match...lovely and tragic.
This fusion sonnet format is interesting and works very well in this poem. There are some very nice images:
weeds she wore
unseeing through clinging flaxen locks
And I like the nod to equal rights in the end. Very well done.
reply by the author on 08-Dec-2020
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Gosh, you give the Bard himself a run for his money with your modified sonnet.
It is beautifully written and the artwork is beautiful as well; it is a perfect match...lovely and tragic.
This fusion sonnet format is interesting and works very well in this poem. There are some very nice images:
weeds she wore
unseeing through clinging flaxen locks
And I like the nod to equal rights in the end. Very well done.
Comment Written 04-Dec-2020
reply by the author on 08-Dec-2020
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Thanks so much for your supportive comments, Cynthia and for the sixth star. Always appreciated! I doubt the Bard himself would have been foolish enough to constrict himself with such a convoluted form. LOL All good wishes, Tony.
Comment from BethShelby
This is a complicated sonnet form. You have a way with words that make it into a lovely poem. I had to read it several times to see the rhyme and free verse. I'm not ready to try using this form of poetry but you have done beautifully.
reply by the author on 05-Dec-2020
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This is a complicated sonnet form. You have a way with words that make it into a lovely poem. I had to read it several times to see the rhyme and free verse. I'm not ready to try using this form of poetry but you have done beautifully.
Comment Written 04-Dec-2020
reply by the author on 05-Dec-2020
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Thanks for your kind words, Beth. I found this an overly complicated form and probably won't try it again. All good wishes, Tony
Comment from Seshadri_Sreenivasan
I always look forward to learning something new from your poems. Technically I am not at all qualified to critique your poems. But I read them for my own pleasure in reading and learning.. This is so well written with words used so elegantly. Thanks for sharing!
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reply by the author on 05-Dec-2020
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I always look forward to learning something new from your poems. Technically I am not at all qualified to critique your poems. But I read them for my own pleasure in reading and learning.. This is so well written with words used so elegantly. Thanks for sharing!
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 04-Dec-2020
reply by the author on 05-Dec-2020
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Thanks, Seshadri. I appreciate your supportive comments. I don't think a great deal of the Fusion Sonnet form, but it was good exercise for the grey cells trying to make something of it. All the best, Tony.
Comment from royowen
I'm not sure I like this poetic form, it's obviously not following what is considered normal, but of course as you would normally do, you do a great job of this Tony, I've always been an admirer of yours, well done, blessings
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reply by the author on 05-Dec-2020
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I'm not sure I like this poetic form, it's obviously not following what is considered normal, but of course as you would normally do, you do a great job of this Tony, I've always been an admirer of yours, well done, blessings
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 04-Dec-2020
reply by the author on 05-Dec-2020
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Thanks, Roy. I appreciate your comments about this poem. I don't think a great deal of the form either, but it was good exercise for the grey cells trying to make something of it. All the best, Tony.
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Well done
Comment from nikkisha
I cannot even begin to imagine how to create something so beautiful. You have a special gift for writing, that most people could only dream of. The story is there, the fluidity, the tragedy, the beauty, everything! I could never offer advise or critique such a talent, it is a perfect piece in my eyes.
reply by the author on 05-Dec-2020
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I cannot even begin to imagine how to create something so beautiful. You have a special gift for writing, that most people could only dream of. The story is there, the fluidity, the tragedy, the beauty, everything! I could never offer advise or critique such a talent, it is a perfect piece in my eyes.
Comment Written 04-Dec-2020
reply by the author on 05-Dec-2020
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What very kind words. I shall be basking in the light of that sixth star all weekend! Thank you so much. All good wishes, Tony
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Good to hear, enjoy basking, you deserve it.
Comment from JLR
Tony, simply outstanding! Very eloquent and a stunning graphic presentation reflects in this overall masterful Fusion Sonnet, thank you soporific much for this club submission, JLR
reply by the author on 05-Dec-2020
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Tony, simply outstanding! Very eloquent and a stunning graphic presentation reflects in this overall masterful Fusion Sonnet, thank you soporific much for this club submission, JLR
Comment Written 04-Dec-2020
reply by the author on 05-Dec-2020
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Thank you very much for your kind words and the sixth star. Both much appreciated. I enjoyed yours, too! All good wishes, Tony
