Reviews from

Ophelia

A Fusion Sonnet for the Potlach Club

50 total reviews 
Comment from sunnilicious
Excellent
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Hi Tony! Thanks very much for teaching me about The Fusion Sonnet. Your poem came out beautifully. The details created through visual imagery is astounding. And of course, I ran out of ample stars to bestow you. Thinking of you and hoping all is great. Happy Holidays! Hearts & hugs, Alicia aka Sunnilicious

 Comment Written 10-Dec-2020


reply by the author on 10-Dec-2020
    Many thanks for your review, Alicia. Hugs and happy holidays to you, too. Tony.
Comment from Raul1
Excellent
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I have enjoyed reading your poem. It is beautifully written and concise. I like how you structured this poem. Excellent work! No grammatical errors. Thanks for sharing! Nice job.

 Comment Written 06-Dec-2020


reply by the author on 07-Dec-2020
    Thanks, Raul1. I appreciate your review. Best wishes, Tony
reply by Raul1 on 07-Dec-2020
    You're welcome.
Comment from strandregs
Excellent
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Tony
Shakespeare must be shaking his spear
And commending your poetic might.
Going through all those rules must have been like doing slalums when drink.
Though I've never done either. :-))Z.

 Comment Written 06-Dec-2020


reply by the author on 07-Dec-2020
    Hi, sandregs. Good to hear from you. Thanks very much for taking the time to review. Slaloms when drunk? Is there any other way?
    Shalom, Tony
Comment from roof35
Excellent
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I salute your talent as this is quite a complicated format. You have made it read easy. Your illustration, of course, pairs perfectly with your words. Appreciated your extra author's notes, too.

 Comment Written 06-Dec-2020


reply by the author on 07-Dec-2020
    Thanks, Roof35. I appreciate your review and kind comments. Best wishes, Tony
Comment from Minglement
Excellent
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I regret I have no sixes for this hauntingly beautiful Fusion Sonnet, a way more complicated poem form than I can imagine ever trying :) You are head and shoulders above me, in your verbal pictures. What gorgeous presentation as well. Thanks for sharing ;)

 Comment Written 06-Dec-2020


reply by the author on 07-Dec-2020
    Thanks, Minglement. I appreciate your review and kind comments. Best wishes, Tony
Comment from equestrik
Excellent
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I like the creativeness of the fusion sonnet. I enjoyed the write and though not always sure where it was going I liked in the end you wrapped it up with the freedom that women have worked to acheive.

 Comment Written 06-Dec-2020


reply by the author on 07-Dec-2020
    Thanks, Equestrik. I appreciate your review and kind comments. Best wishes, Tony
Comment from phill doran
Exceptional
This work has reached the exceptional level

Hello Tony
Stunning stuff. Beautifully constructed - "like the ebb and flow of prayers" is a brilliant, and apt, turn of phrase, as is "divided from herself by circumstance." Using "a head" and "ahead" disguises the repetition and it is a very clever working to modernize the myth too, make her speak to today. Such a powerful image.
You note: Same rhyme in 1st,5th,9th & 10th lines. Did you mean something else? I see the 1st & 5th, (spread/head) but 9th & 10th are a couplet apart (tree/destiny) - maybe your note should read "Same rhyme in 1st,5th and again on the 9th & 10th lines."
Anyway, I have cut-and-pasted the directions; this is a real crossword-puzzler's form: I can't wait to do battle with it!
I wish you safe and well - and all the best with your continued, and highly-regarded, writing.
cheers
phill
I see you have her as a 'flaxen haired' maid - unlike Millais' red head (Lizzy Siddal)... which also provides for an unexpected image


 Comment Written 06-Dec-2020


reply by the author on 07-Dec-2020
    Thanks for your fine review and shower of stars, Phill.
    I cut-and-pasted the sonnet rules from Jan's, as she wrote them in the Potlach challenge. That instruction might have been more clearly expressed as The 1st and 5th lines rhyme, and the 9th and 10th lines are a rhyming couplet. I've altered mine now.
    She also had the 20th line repeating the 1st line, which is not the way Sonnet Mondal did it. I've chosen to use his structure as he originated the form. In his, the 20th line acts as a volta and isn't required to rhyme with anything else. I thought that a bit messy so allowed it a slant rhyme with the 18th and 19th.
    I can't say I think much of the form, except as an exercise in technique.
Comment from Reese Turner
Excellent
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Wow! That's some deep stuff there, Tony! I probably need to get back to the shallow end, but found the picture haunting and the words and meter challenging. Wish I could sit on the front porch of your B&B and discuss it. Merry Christmas from Texas

 Comment Written 06-Dec-2020


reply by the author on 07-Dec-2020
    Thanks, Reese. I appreciate your review and kind comments. Merry Christmas to you, too. Maybe, one day, you'll be able to make the trip from Texas to South Australia. You'd be most welcome at the B&B.
    Best wishes, Tony
reply by Reese Turner on 07-Dec-2020
    Good onya, Mate. After my many business trips to Oz, at 72, me thinks I've made my last 14 hour flight. But, my love of Australia will never grow old. God Bless y'all (Texan for 'everybody there')
Comment from duchessofdrumborg
Exceptional
This work has reached the exceptional level

'Ophelia', is an extremely well-written and deftly descriptive piece. It was a pleasure to both read and review this talented poet's work. To me, this is definitely a six. I look forward to seeing your next post.

 Comment Written 06-Dec-2020


reply by the author on 07-Dec-2020
    Thank you very much for your kind words, Duchess, and for the six shining stars. All good wishes, Tony
reply by duchessofdrumborg on 07-Dec-2020
    Tony,
    You're very welcome. The six shining stars were well deserved.
    God bless and stay safe!
    the Duchess
Comment from Wendy G
Excellent
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This is a beautiful poem and very lyrical, but very sad, although with a positive suggestion to finish - the need for two way love and respect. Thanks for sharing this thought-provoking piece.

 Comment Written 06-Dec-2020


reply by the author on 07-Dec-2020
    Thanks, Wendy. I appreciate your review and kind comments. Best wishes, Tony