The Spirit of the Wind
Viewing comments for Chapter 20 "A Christmas Tree"Newylwed homesteader Jane becomes a widow
14 total reviews
Comment from robyn corum
Stan,
It is quite a task for me-in my embarrassingly comfortable life-to try to imagine this way of life. Oh, my. I enjoy historical fiction so much!! Haha
A happy, reuniting chapter and perfect timing, too, for the holiday.
Notes:
1.) I took the time to knit some stocking(s) to hang over the fireplace.
2.) I threw my bathrobe on and skittered across the hard, cold floor in my bare feet.
--> curious what you have in mind down below at her feet. This almost sounds like that old thin lineolium (sp) homes used to have. I am having a hard time picturing anything other than rough planks (maybe covered with hay or straw at the moment) or just hard-packed dirt floors. The idea of her *skittering* across either of the last two doesn*t fit in my mind. (??)
--> I am on my phone -thus the need to replace all quote marks or apostrophes with asterisks. Otherwise, Evil Eddie plays havoc.
3.) Little Josh came running up to me with his matted hair, trying (to) rub the sleep from his eyes.
4.) You are almost too heavy (to) lift. Why you are heavier than a sack of c (-what??) no ending
5.) I noted Sky(e) had plucked the feathers (from) our goose named
--> she did keep them, set them aside for household use, riigghht?
6.) I must have thanked Skye more (times) than I could count.
7.) You must know by now, you*re more than a friend, but you are more a sister to me I never had.
--> You must know by now that you*re much more than a friend to me, Skye. More like the sister I have always wanted but never had.
8.) My eyes fel(t) like le(a)d curtains until I dozed.
9.) It took my (breath.) I wasn't sure who it was (and) I feared the worst. I reached for my
10.) between me and the door. I yelled(, **Who*s) out there?
--> where asterisks stand for quote marks/apostrophe
11.) I swear you have a death wish! I near put (a) hole in you.
12.) Mr. Greeley stepped inside along with Jake, doing their best shake the snow off.
--> doing small jigs to shake off the snow.
--> doing their best to shake off the snow.
13.) Hang your coats on a nail and warm yourselves by the fire.(**)
14.) Do you mind if I invite some guests?** (asked) Jake with (a) sheepish grin.
15.) I introduced Joseph to Skye and watched Redhawk take a shine to her.
--> does Redhawk already know her or is Skye being introduced to both men?
16.) how they followed the glow of the evening sky from the (N)orth (S)tar to the (M)ilky (W)ay
17.) necklace made of gold. **Merry Christmas,(**) he said.
--> delete quote marks at the end after *said*
18.) What is that supposed to mean?** (h)e asked.
19.) **The only fever I got is for you,** (s)aid Jake
A happy welcome home -back to warm fires and warm hearts. Nice job! Please let me know when you edit- Thank you!
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The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
reply by the author on 02-Dec-2020
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Stan,
It is quite a task for me-in my embarrassingly comfortable life-to try to imagine this way of life. Oh, my. I enjoy historical fiction so much!! Haha
A happy, reuniting chapter and perfect timing, too, for the holiday.
Notes:
1.) I took the time to knit some stocking(s) to hang over the fireplace.
2.) I threw my bathrobe on and skittered across the hard, cold floor in my bare feet.
--> curious what you have in mind down below at her feet. This almost sounds like that old thin lineolium (sp) homes used to have. I am having a hard time picturing anything other than rough planks (maybe covered with hay or straw at the moment) or just hard-packed dirt floors. The idea of her *skittering* across either of the last two doesn*t fit in my mind. (??)
--> I am on my phone -thus the need to replace all quote marks or apostrophes with asterisks. Otherwise, Evil Eddie plays havoc.
3.) Little Josh came running up to me with his matted hair, trying (to) rub the sleep from his eyes.
4.) You are almost too heavy (to) lift. Why you are heavier than a sack of c (-what??) no ending
5.) I noted Sky(e) had plucked the feathers (from) our goose named
--> she did keep them, set them aside for household use, riigghht?
6.) I must have thanked Skye more (times) than I could count.
7.) You must know by now, you*re more than a friend, but you are more a sister to me I never had.
--> You must know by now that you*re much more than a friend to me, Skye. More like the sister I have always wanted but never had.
8.) My eyes fel(t) like le(a)d curtains until I dozed.
9.) It took my (breath.) I wasn't sure who it was (and) I feared the worst. I reached for my
10.) between me and the door. I yelled(, **Who*s) out there?
--> where asterisks stand for quote marks/apostrophe
11.) I swear you have a death wish! I near put (a) hole in you.
12.) Mr. Greeley stepped inside along with Jake, doing their best shake the snow off.
--> doing small jigs to shake off the snow.
--> doing their best to shake off the snow.
13.) Hang your coats on a nail and warm yourselves by the fire.(**)
14.) Do you mind if I invite some guests?** (asked) Jake with (a) sheepish grin.
15.) I introduced Joseph to Skye and watched Redhawk take a shine to her.
--> does Redhawk already know her or is Skye being introduced to both men?
16.) how they followed the glow of the evening sky from the (N)orth (S)tar to the (M)ilky (W)ay
17.) necklace made of gold. **Merry Christmas,(**) he said.
--> delete quote marks at the end after *said*
18.) What is that supposed to mean?** (h)e asked.
19.) **The only fever I got is for you,** (s)aid Jake
A happy welcome home -back to warm fires and warm hearts. Nice job! Please let me know when you edit- Thank you!
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 02-Dec-2020
reply by the author on 02-Dec-2020
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Love that idea of Mr. Greeley doing the jig. I'm making changes now. Maybe if you could stop by later and re...review. Thanks.
Comment from Elizabeth Emerald
Star-worthy out of the starting gate! Stunning imagery--the vast horizon glittered as if there were clusters of diamonds we could skim from the snow's surface.
knit some stocking [stockings]
I hadn't said anymore [any more] to Skye
My son fell asleep on our rug, playing with cowboy and Indian men [omit comma] Jake had whittled from wood.
hand and hand==>hand in hand
Why you are heavier than a sack of c (the rest of sentence got cut off)
like led [lead] curtains
It took my breadth [breath]
Whose [Who's] out there?
Asked Jake with [a] sheepish grin.
reply by the author on 02-Dec-2020
|
Star-worthy out of the starting gate! Stunning imagery--the vast horizon glittered as if there were clusters of diamonds we could skim from the snow's surface.
knit some stocking [stockings]
I hadn't said anymore [any more] to Skye
My son fell asleep on our rug, playing with cowboy and Indian men [omit comma] Jake had whittled from wood.
hand and hand==>hand in hand
Why you are heavier than a sack of c (the rest of sentence got cut off)
like led [lead] curtains
It took my breadth [breath]
Whose [Who's] out there?
Asked Jake with [a] sheepish grin.
Comment Written 01-Dec-2020
reply by the author on 02-Dec-2020
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Thanks, so much. I fixed most. I still missed a few knits. Always appreciate and need editing. Stan
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Don't we all! I once made 7 typos in a hastily-posted flash.
Comment from Wendy G
This sounds like an interesting story! It certainly made me want to keep reading. There are a couple of things to edit "Why are you heavier than a sack of c ..." the end bit is missing. Just a typo. Best wishes for the continuation.
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
reply by the author on 02-Dec-2020
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This sounds like an interesting story! It certainly made me want to keep reading. There are a couple of things to edit "Why are you heavier than a sack of c ..." the end bit is missing. Just a typo. Best wishes for the continuation.
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 01-Dec-2020
reply by the author on 02-Dec-2020
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Yes, I went back and forgot it again. Always appreciated.
Comment from Ben Colder
Special moments Great Christmas home coming scene. I could see this unfolding before my eyes. You made me shiver when the door was opened. Sound like a great time in the middle of a time of uncertainty. Good one Stan.
reply by the author on 06-Dec-2020
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Special moments Great Christmas home coming scene. I could see this unfolding before my eyes. You made me shiver when the door was opened. Sound like a great time in the middle of a time of uncertainty. Good one Stan.
Comment Written 01-Dec-2020
reply by the author on 06-Dec-2020
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Thanks again, Ben. I just bought the book on the history of general Sully. I'm going to insert him as a key figure and antithesis to Jane Taylor the main character. I'm introducing him in my next chapter.
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Good deal
