The Elf's Umbrella
A Hemmed Ballad21 total reviews
Comment from judiverse
This is delightful, and quite imaginative. It makes a great story in poem. It rollicks right along with great rhythm. Great use of the elf umbrella and I admire that you used the British sounding brolly. The narrator is full of curiosity, wanting to find out who claimed it. He hears the tale of the umbrella's owner had taken shelter with a sprite during the rain. A fairy misread the situation and spitefully stole the umbrella. An entertaining story! Beautiful wording. judi
reply by the author on 23-Nov-2020
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This is delightful, and quite imaginative. It makes a great story in poem. It rollicks right along with great rhythm. Great use of the elf umbrella and I admire that you used the British sounding brolly. The narrator is full of curiosity, wanting to find out who claimed it. He hears the tale of the umbrella's owner had taken shelter with a sprite during the rain. A fairy misread the situation and spitefully stole the umbrella. An entertaining story! Beautiful wording. judi
Comment Written 23-Nov-2020
reply by the author on 23-Nov-2020
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Thank you. I appreciate these wonderful remarks.
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You're welcome. Really enjoyable story in a poem. judi
Comment from Rx kingpen
All in all, a fun loving traverse through verse. I wonder when, along this process, you decided to turn it into this style?
I truly fathom the mind of some who draw strict lines and their thinking process. I know that this poem is very cute, entertaining, true to its design.
reply by the author on 23-Nov-2020
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All in all, a fun loving traverse through verse. I wonder when, along this process, you decided to turn it into this style?
I truly fathom the mind of some who draw strict lines and their thinking process. I know that this poem is very cute, entertaining, true to its design.
Comment Written 23-Nov-2020
reply by the author on 23-Nov-2020
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Thank you so much.
Comment from Jannypan (Jan)
You did an excellent job with your contest entry, Yvonne. I really enjoyed reading it. The presentation is awesome--the color scheme works well for the 'forest area, the font color reminds me of mushrooms, the rhymes are super as is the flow, and the overall story reads at a good pace with great details. The ending if fitting, too.
Thanks for sharing and best wishes.
Respectfully, Jan
reply by the author on 22-Nov-2020
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You did an excellent job with your contest entry, Yvonne. I really enjoyed reading it. The presentation is awesome--the color scheme works well for the 'forest area, the font color reminds me of mushrooms, the rhymes are super as is the flow, and the overall story reads at a good pace with great details. The ending if fitting, too.
Thanks for sharing and best wishes.
Respectfully, Jan
Comment Written 22-Nov-2020
reply by the author on 22-Nov-2020
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Thank you for this wonderful review. I always appreciate your input.
Comment from aryr
Very well done, Yvonne. You did a wonderful job with the Hemmed Ballad. Good luck with the contest. I loved the picture and the story behind the picture was so entertaining and delightful.
reply by the author on 22-Nov-2020
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Very well done, Yvonne. You did a wonderful job with the Hemmed Ballad. Good luck with the contest. I loved the picture and the story behind the picture was so entertaining and delightful.
Comment Written 22-Nov-2020
reply by the author on 22-Nov-2020
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Thank you. I'm glad you think so.
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You are so welcome.
Comment from Mastery
Helen's new form works well in your capable hands, Yvonne. She is a clever poet in her own right, I know.
I liked this background you provided here too. and these lines stuck out for me:
Great imagery here:
"At sight of me, he stopped in place.
I feared he was afraid.
He turned to run, I joined the chase
through every grassy blade.
When caught, he screamed, began to wail,
but settled down to tell his tale."
Very enjoyable, my friend. Bob
reply by the author on 22-Nov-2020
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Helen's new form works well in your capable hands, Yvonne. She is a clever poet in her own right, I know.
I liked this background you provided here too. and these lines stuck out for me:
Great imagery here:
"At sight of me, he stopped in place.
I feared he was afraid.
He turned to run, I joined the chase
through every grassy blade.
When caught, he screamed, began to wail,
but settled down to tell his tale."
Very enjoyable, my friend. Bob
Comment Written 22-Nov-2020
reply by the author on 22-Nov-2020
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Thank you. I'm trying to keep my mind occupied, so I keep writing. I'll not write about my grief and sadness. That's just makes it worse.
Comment from Ben Colder
Love this. Mean oh ferry. Shame on her. You did good with this poem. Not many I care to read but yours was a cut above the others. Thanks for sharing your talent.
reply by the author on 22-Nov-2020
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Love this. Mean oh ferry. Shame on her. You did good with this poem. Not many I care to read but yours was a cut above the others. Thanks for sharing your talent.
Comment Written 22-Nov-2020
reply by the author on 22-Nov-2020
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Thank you. You always say such lovely things.
Comment from Mrs. KT
What an absolute delight, Yvonne!
Children of all ages would love to experience this poem read to them aloud!
And the storyline is priceless!
A wonderful story told in Helen's poetic form, "hemmed ballad." Creative!
Thank you for sharing!
diane
reply by the author on 22-Nov-2020
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What an absolute delight, Yvonne!
Children of all ages would love to experience this poem read to them aloud!
And the storyline is priceless!
A wonderful story told in Helen's poetic form, "hemmed ballad." Creative!
Thank you for sharing!
diane
Comment Written 22-Nov-2020
reply by the author on 22-Nov-2020
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Thank you so much for this wonderful review. Helen did a great job creating this form. It's fun to do, if a bit challenging.
Comment from Barb Hensongispsaca
I have to give a six, this is perfectly done. I love the style, the new form as it gives the last two lines in each stanza a chance to pull each together to make it complete. The rhyming is perfeect and the story is amazing
reply by the author on 22-Nov-2020
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I have to give a six, this is perfectly done. I love the style, the new form as it gives the last two lines in each stanza a chance to pull each together to make it complete. The rhyming is perfeect and the story is amazing
Comment Written 22-Nov-2020
reply by the author on 22-Nov-2020
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Thank you, Barb! You know how much I appreciate this great review.
Comment from Sandra du Plessis
A very well-written hemmed ballad about the discovery of the elf's umbrella in an early morning walk. When he comes back it seems the fairy stole his parasol from him.
reply by the author on 22-Nov-2020
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A very well-written hemmed ballad about the discovery of the elf's umbrella in an early morning walk. When he comes back it seems the fairy stole his parasol from him.
Comment Written 22-Nov-2020
reply by the author on 22-Nov-2020
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Yep, mean fairy. Thanks for reviewing.
Comment from lyenochka
Loved it! I read it aloud and enjoyed the beautiful meter and the story made me smile! Thank you for trying out this form, Yvonne. As always, you did a beautiful job with all five stanzas!
reply by the author on 22-Nov-2020
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Loved it! I read it aloud and enjoyed the beautiful meter and the story made me smile! Thank you for trying out this form, Yvonne. As always, you did a beautiful job with all five stanzas!
Comment Written 22-Nov-2020
reply by the author on 22-Nov-2020
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Thank you for this wonderful review and stars. I was hoping I did your new form proud. I enjoyed writing it. I wanted you to be pleased with my attempt. This makes me so happy!
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You did a fabulous job and I'm am so honored that you wrote this lovely story poem using the form! Hugs!
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Dolly said I did it wrong? Did I?
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You did it fine. Dolly has a different version because of my poor wording in my initial description. I meant for the last rhyme to be the next end rhyme but she thought I meant that the last rhyme would be the first word of the next stanza. I said her version is also fine. The main thing is to tell the story and use the couplet at the end of each stanza to reflect about what was said in the four lines before.
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Whew!
