Renga Two
Viewing comments for Chapter 13 "Merry Birds, No Fury!"multi-author book number two
7 total reviews
Comment from Mark D. R.
A nice addition to this Renga collaboration. You have a funny cartoon to match your words.
Suggestion: use 'chirp' (or 'sing'?) instead of 'chant' - methinks only the musical group, Byrds, may 'chant' or 'sing.'
Mark
reply by the author on 22-Nov-2020
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A nice addition to this Renga collaboration. You have a funny cartoon to match your words.
Suggestion: use 'chirp' (or 'sing'?) instead of 'chant' - methinks only the musical group, Byrds, may 'chant' or 'sing.'
Mark
Comment Written 22-Nov-2020
reply by the author on 22-Nov-2020
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Thank you so much for your review and suggestion. I truly value feedback without limit. Accept my regards!
Comment from Elizabeth Emerald
(sugg: put text of prior chapter in notes for context) This is whimsical and cheerful--startling phrase--full of thanks without fury--nice ff alliteration. An uplifting addition to the renga!
reply by the author on 22-Nov-2020
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(sugg: put text of prior chapter in notes for context) This is whimsical and cheerful--startling phrase--full of thanks without fury--nice ff alliteration. An uplifting addition to the renga!
Comment Written 21-Nov-2020
reply by the author on 22-Nov-2020
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Thanks, Lizzy for your lovely review, and the beautiful suggestion which I have incorporated. Lol!
Comment from Gypsy Blue Rose
Birds Merry No Fury
by ESOSTINE
Hello, Esostine,
Thank you for adding a chapter to my renga book. It's lovely. Good syllable count and connection between lines. Please add my author notes so other writers have the information. Thank you!
Renga is a Japanese collaborative poetry form in which poets write alternating verses of 5-7-5 stanzas and 7-7 couplets which are linked in succession by multiple poets. Only the first 5/7/5 is a haiku; the rest 5/7/5 stanzas are only restricted to syllable count. Renga is older than haiku.
Please, if you would like to add a chapter to this book of renga, read these instructions then copy and paste to your author notes. If you need help, please do not hesitate to contact Gypsy Blue Rose.
Steps to Post a Chapter:
click on the ADD CHAPTER icon, located above the review box.
If the last poem is a 5/7/5 stanza, write a 7/7 couplet, if the last poem is a 7/7 couplet write a 5/7/5 stanza. Write about the SAME THEME of the previous chapter but please don't REPEAT words.
Post your poem as usual but it will be part of the book. A copy will go to your portfolio and you keep your reviews.
(If you would like to read the previous chapters, copy and paste this link to your browser).
https://www.fanstory.com/chapterdetails.jsp?id=39791
reply by the author on 21-Nov-2020
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Birds Merry No Fury
by ESOSTINE
Hello, Esostine,
Thank you for adding a chapter to my renga book. It's lovely. Good syllable count and connection between lines. Please add my author notes so other writers have the information. Thank you!
Renga is a Japanese collaborative poetry form in which poets write alternating verses of 5-7-5 stanzas and 7-7 couplets which are linked in succession by multiple poets. Only the first 5/7/5 is a haiku; the rest 5/7/5 stanzas are only restricted to syllable count. Renga is older than haiku.
Please, if you would like to add a chapter to this book of renga, read these instructions then copy and paste to your author notes. If you need help, please do not hesitate to contact Gypsy Blue Rose.
Steps to Post a Chapter:
click on the ADD CHAPTER icon, located above the review box.
If the last poem is a 5/7/5 stanza, write a 7/7 couplet, if the last poem is a 7/7 couplet write a 5/7/5 stanza. Write about the SAME THEME of the previous chapter but please don't REPEAT words.
Post your poem as usual but it will be part of the book. A copy will go to your portfolio and you keep your reviews.
(If you would like to read the previous chapters, copy and paste this link to your browser).
https://www.fanstory.com/chapterdetails.jsp?id=39791
Comment Written 21-Nov-2020
reply by the author on 21-Nov-2020
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Ok dear! I have done that. Hope you have time to check again. Thanks for your review.
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Looks great! Thank you, my friend.
Comment from Pam (respa)
-Nice to see your addition
to the book, Esostine.
-Very nice artwork and
cheerful presentation.
-You wrote a good follow
up poem about these
cheerful birds.
-Effective imagery, rhyme,
and a positive message.
-It is always interesting to
see how this book develops.
reply by the author on 21-Nov-2020
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-Nice to see your addition
to the book, Esostine.
-Very nice artwork and
cheerful presentation.
-You wrote a good follow
up poem about these
cheerful birds.
-Effective imagery, rhyme,
and a positive message.
-It is always interesting to
see how this book develops.
Comment Written 21-Nov-2020
reply by the author on 21-Nov-2020
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Thanks so much for the kind review and encouraging comments.
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You are quite welcome.
Comment from juliaSjames
Most appropriate as the Thanksgiving celebration is close. I was thinking just this morning that birds are very resilient. They thrive even in the cold unless they migrate. In winter the noise of sparrows taking refuge in hedges is practically deafening. LOL
Correct form for the renga couplet.
Thanks for sharing
Stay safe
Blessings Julia
reply by the author on 21-Nov-2020
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Most appropriate as the Thanksgiving celebration is close. I was thinking just this morning that birds are very resilient. They thrive even in the cold unless they migrate. In winter the noise of sparrows taking refuge in hedges is practically deafening. LOL
Correct form for the renga couplet.
Thanks for sharing
Stay safe
Blessings Julia
Comment Written 21-Nov-2020
reply by the author on 21-Nov-2020
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Thanks so much for identifying with poem. I cherish your review!
Comment from Dolly'sPoems
Animals do not bear grudges or have these human emotions that often set us back in life, birds especially never fail to bring their song.
A suggestion for you for the sake of grammar:
(Gladly they chant, (are) merry)
Love Dolly
reply by the author on 21-Nov-2020
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Animals do not bear grudges or have these human emotions that often set us back in life, birds especially never fail to bring their song.
A suggestion for you for the sake of grammar:
(Gladly they chant, (are) merry)
Love Dolly
Comment Written 21-Nov-2020
reply by the author on 21-Nov-2020
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Thanks so much dear Dolly, and more so for the grammar lesson. Lol!
Comment from MissMerri
I noticed none of these cute birds were wearing masks! I hope they will not be arrested for giving thanks and being merry. Actually, I loved this poem and think the message is a strong one... especially the part about doing so without fury. This is a most interesting form and you have managed it well.
reply by the author on 21-Nov-2020
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I noticed none of these cute birds were wearing masks! I hope they will not be arrested for giving thanks and being merry. Actually, I loved this poem and think the message is a strong one... especially the part about doing so without fury. This is a most interesting form and you have managed it well.
Comment Written 21-Nov-2020
reply by the author on 21-Nov-2020
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I appreciate your time and lovely comments. Thanks so much!