Beaver Hollow's Revenge
November's Beaver moon hung low in the sky.10 total reviews
Comment from lyenochka
The beavers certainly got their revenge. And considering how beavers do construct their homes, this trap for humans is even plausible. Great storytelling. Best wishes in the contest!
reply by the author on 23-Nov-2020
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The beavers certainly got their revenge. And considering how beavers do construct their homes, this trap for humans is even plausible. Great storytelling. Best wishes in the contest!
Comment Written 21-Nov-2020
reply by the author on 23-Nov-2020
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Hi Helen Thank you for your review I though something different was needed Cheers Chris
Comment from Dolly'sPoems
Ha ha ha! The Beaver turned the tables here and you made me smile with your humorous and entertaining revenge of the Beavers write, much fun, love Dolly x
reply by the author on 23-Nov-2020
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Ha ha ha! The Beaver turned the tables here and you made me smile with your humorous and entertaining revenge of the Beavers write, much fun, love Dolly x
Comment Written 21-Nov-2020
reply by the author on 23-Nov-2020
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Hi Dolly Thanks so much and yes it was fun to think up ha ha
Cheers Chrisx
Comment from Rosemary Everson1
This reminds me of a hanging net trap....but instead it is placed in the water instead above the ground. Many times we spot beaver's nest after they are built. Next time, I'll think of your story and how it might be a trap....
reply by the author on 23-Nov-2020
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This reminds me of a hanging net trap....but instead it is placed in the water instead above the ground. Many times we spot beaver's nest after they are built. Next time, I'll think of your story and how it might be a trap....
Comment Written 21-Nov-2020
reply by the author on 23-Nov-2020
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Hi Rosemary Thanks for your review A purely thought up trap ha ha
Cheers Chris
Comment from equestrik
This is a nicely presented story for the contest. Beautiful picture and well written story. Your last lines are certainly a twist of fate for man. Best to you in the contest.
reply by the author on 23-Nov-2020
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This is a nicely presented story for the contest. Beautiful picture and well written story. Your last lines are certainly a twist of fate for man. Best to you in the contest.
Comment Written 21-Nov-2020
reply by the author on 23-Nov-2020
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Hi equestrik Thanks fir your review no luck this time I must tighten the trap ha ha.
Cheers Christine
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:)
Comment from Cynthia Adams1
Clever idea to have the beavers get back at the trappers for a change.
I liked that you gave the beavers human characterists and it seems like they voted in a smart mayor. :)
The picture you used was a good match.
I like the last line of your story especially...it is the perfect ending line.
One small change is needed:
Just after the third paragraph in the single line...it says badger instead of beaver.
Good luck in the contest.
reply by the author on 20-Nov-2020
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Clever idea to have the beavers get back at the trappers for a change.
I liked that you gave the beavers human characterists and it seems like they voted in a smart mayor. :)
The picture you used was a good match.
I like the last line of your story especially...it is the perfect ending line.
One small change is needed:
Just after the third paragraph in the single line...it says badger instead of beaver.
Good luck in the contest.
Comment Written 20-Nov-2020
reply by the author on 20-Nov-2020
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Hi Cynthia Thank you fir reading my story I have fixed the spag (silly me ha ha) Appreciate your spot Cheers
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You are very welcome. Cheers to you as well.
Comment from Pantygynt
He we have the animals taking their revenge on the human trappers. These beavers seem to undergo a strange metamorphosis at one point. 'Just after midnight this year the badgers lay in wait'. Badgers eh? How did they get in on the act?
I was a little confused by the paragraph concerned with building the trap, the one beginning, 'Cleverly weaving sticks and grasses together...' If the traps are constructed over the pathways how do the trappers end up in the water?
The ending is excellent. Iron out the blips and you will have a good story here.
reply by the author on 20-Nov-2020
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He we have the animals taking their revenge on the human trappers. These beavers seem to undergo a strange metamorphosis at one point. 'Just after midnight this year the badgers lay in wait'. Badgers eh? How did they get in on the act?
I was a little confused by the paragraph concerned with building the trap, the one beginning, 'Cleverly weaving sticks and grasses together...' If the traps are constructed over the pathways how do the trappers end up in the water?
The ending is excellent. Iron out the blips and you will have a good story here.
Comment Written 20-Nov-2020
reply by the author on 20-Nov-2020
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Hi Pantygynt Thank you for your review and suggestions I have made some small changes and hopefully now explains the ?pathway? a little clearer
Also the beavers remain beavers ( fault of thought Ha ha)
My first draught was quite wordy so culling the story to keep the essence of my weird story made me work a bit harder. The 250 word limit is quite difficult to keep the story as thought up, anyway all in the writing learning experience .
I thought a different angle may be the way to acknowledge, Beaver Moon as I did a little research on the meaning and also learnt a bit about beavers and their habitat.
Thanks again I appreciate your help if you care to reread it please do
Cheers
Comment from royowen
This could have a changed name called "The revival of the raging rodents". I think in many ways the beaver had a right for revenge, they have been hunted to near extinction, but are coming back again, brilliant piece of writing, well done, blessings Roy
reply by the author on 20-Nov-2020
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This could have a changed name called "The revival of the raging rodents". I think in many ways the beaver had a right for revenge, they have been hunted to near extinction, but are coming back again, brilliant piece of writing, well done, blessings Roy
Comment Written 20-Nov-2020
reply by the author on 20-Nov-2020
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Hi Roy Thanks do much I thought a change of hunter might suffice for the Beaver Moon I looked it up and learnt a bit about beavers so then my weird brain came up with this. Thanks for your encouraging words
Cheers
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No weird, merely out of the box, creative thinking
Comment from humpwhistle
What goes around comes around, eh? I think beaver traps are more often set in the water, rather than on the walkways. I realize this is fanciful, but I can't quite get my head around the workings of the man traps.
Best of luck.
Peace, Lee
Cleverley (cleverly) disguised thin layers of moss was (were) then laid over the pathways.
reply by the author on 20-Nov-2020
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What goes around comes around, eh? I think beaver traps are more often set in the water, rather than on the walkways. I realize this is fanciful, but I can't quite get my head around the workings of the man traps.
Best of luck.
Peace, Lee
Cleverley (cleverly) disguised thin layers of moss was (were) then laid over the pathways.
Comment Written 20-Nov-2020
reply by the author on 20-Nov-2020
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Hi Lee Thanks for your review much appreciated
I have changed the text a small bit to hopefully make the Moss pathways clearer
Cheers
Comment from Wendy G
I enjoyed this piece of writing, expressed from the viewpoint of the beavers. The hunters become the hunted, a reversal which we view as their just desserts. Well written.
reply by the author on 20-Nov-2020
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I enjoyed this piece of writing, expressed from the viewpoint of the beavers. The hunters become the hunted, a reversal which we view as their just desserts. Well written.
Comment Written 20-Nov-2020
reply by the author on 20-Nov-2020
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Thank you so much . Yes a bit different ha ha Cheers
Comment from Iza Deleanu
Trappers trapping a beaver on a late "November's Beaver moon hung low in the sky" poor baby gone so young. Thank you for sharing and good luck with the contest.
reply by the author on 20-Nov-2020
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Trappers trapping a beaver on a late "November's Beaver moon hung low in the sky" poor baby gone so young. Thank you for sharing and good luck with the contest.
Comment Written 20-Nov-2020
reply by the author on 20-Nov-2020
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Thank you i thought I would look at it from the beavers point of view Ha Ha Cheers
