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Viewing comments for Chapter 5 "The Girl by the Window"
A Flash Fiction Collection

19 total reviews 
Comment from Ann Market
Excellent
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This is an adorable story that tells so much in so few words! I loved reading it and I know I'll have to come back to read it again!

Also, congratulations on winning First Place in the contest!

 Comment Written 18-Nov-2020


reply by the author on 18-Nov-2020
    Thank you.
Comment from Jasmine Girl
Excellent
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What a cute story about the grade school dating. I enjoyed reading this story. I entered this contest, too . Yours was better. In middle school, kids in opposite gender were too shy to talk to each other so they just stared. This is what I remembered.

Well done.

 Comment Written 17-Nov-2020


reply by the author on 17-Nov-2020
    Thank you very much.
Comment from dragonpoet
Excellent
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So one act of kindness to an angry woman started a true love. He was truly chivalrous and sacrificed himself to a bee sting to save her from one.
Congrats on winning the contest.
Keep writing and stay healthy.
dp

 Comment Written 10-Nov-2020

Comment from juliaSjames
Excellent
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Congratulations on your win. This write is proof of the old saying, "Faint heart never won fair lady". I like the not quite repetition of the final paragraph.. Justin won her heart and then some. We women are suckers for the gallant gesture.

Stay safe

Blessings Julia

 Comment Written 09-Nov-2020


reply by the author on 09-Nov-2020
    Thank you.
Comment from Elizabeth Emerald
Excellent
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Congrats on your win! Allow me the honor of being #15 reviewer--which magic number will result in your receiving a virtual blue recognition ribbon--admittedly anticlimactic considering the far more impressive winning ribbon. Cute flash! Cheers. LIZ

 Comment Written 09-Nov-2020


reply by the author on 09-Nov-2020
    LOL. Thank you. To be honest, I actually forgot all about this dribble, until this morning's message. I was like: Congratulations... for what?
Comment from sammielwf
Exceptional
This work has reached the exceptional level

Lancellot,
This poem was true to your name sake Sir Lancelot -chivalrous to the stinging end game.
Nicely written and nicely played Sir Lancellot/Justin
Sammielwf

 Comment Written 09-Nov-2020

Comment from pome lover
Excellent
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A perfect story for a Lancelot!
Gallant and brave. Wonderful.
and to tell the story in so few words -every word important to the narrative!
Bravo! and congratulations on your win.
Katharine - pome lover

 Comment Written 09-Nov-2020

Comment from Contests

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A contest winning entry! A seven star rating from the Contest Committee for posting the winning contest entry.

 Comment Written 09-Nov-2020

Comment from Mastery
Excellent
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Hi Lance. Not too sure on this one but I guess it qualifies as an entry in the Dribble Fiction. Just that it is a thinking man's story, I guess. Not complicated, but not too clear either. That's probably just me, my friend. Go with it. If I changed anything however, I would change one thing if possible. Instead of "Ouch" make your word count work for "Damned bee."

 Comment Written 01-Nov-2020


reply by the author on 01-Nov-2020
    Thank you. I see. I should make better use of each word.
reply by Mastery on 01-Nov-2020
    I think so, yes. Bob
Comment from Bill Schott
Excellent
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This dribble, The Girl by the Window, has the right word count and seems to present the funny situation of two people who are attracted to each other but may be unaware of how they are perceived by others. Or, something totally different.

 Comment Written 01-Nov-2020


reply by the author on 01-Nov-2020
    Thank you.