Comment from Rhianna Robins

Needs Improvement

To be honest, I found it a little hard to follow with all the question marks and quotations but perhaps this is a new form of writing I am not yet accustomed to.
The words you have written and the story was great once I was able to get past the punctuation and grammar.
In no way is my intention to discourage you. I hope this review helps.

 Comment Written 31-Oct-2020

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reply by the author on 02-Nov-2020

It's funny I had a reviewer state.
That the fact that it's a beautiful poem and it also promotes organ tissue donation means it's worthy of All time best on Fanstory.
That's the two stars means that it needs improvement?
Of course not!
The title my daughter Nicole put onto the obituary card.
and I bet you didn't know that you can add to an obituary card and I'll print it out for you.
...
And I'm using that to tell the stoy son.
a parent's worst nightmare.
And, if this was your loss of a child?
..
So maybe if you reread it and think of that being your child.
Tou'll realize what a big mistake you're making and no you're not helping!
You're not hurting me my family and all Jason's friends but also yourself.
And, just don't seem to get it?

Comment from Rosemary wanjiru

Good

Eerie, spooky, and chilling.fantastic.poetic and musical. I love how the words are intertwined.it's dramatic and unpredictable. I love the twists and turns of events

 Comment Written 31-Oct-2020

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reply by the author on 02-Nov-2020

Thank you Rosemary for your time and review.
Doctor Ricky 1024