Breaking up
Mixed rhyme2 total reviews
Comment from rjuselius
Indeed. A feud between two people is hard to solve as both parties wont budge.
Interestering write.
Thank you for sharing!
Blessings and a super-dooper squeeze!
Rebekka x
reply by the author on 30-Oct-2020
Indeed. A feud between two people is hard to solve as both parties wont budge.
Interestering write.
Thank you for sharing!
Blessings and a super-dooper squeeze!
Rebekka x
Comment Written 30-Oct-2020
reply by the author on 30-Oct-2020
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Thanks, but this was released in error . I didn?t see the ?no preview?
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Thanks, but this was released in error . I didn?t see the ?no preview?
Comment from Victoria...
This could be a really good poem, powerful and I like the "mixed rhyme". But you need to be more careful so errors don't slow down the reader. Line 2-"now" and "said" don't match, the former present tense, the latter past tense. Maybe change "said" to "say". Line 3-"makeup" should be "make up". Line 5-"we're" should be "were". Also, is there more? It felt like the last line was the beginning of a sentence.
reply by the author on 30-Oct-2020
This could be a really good poem, powerful and I like the "mixed rhyme". But you need to be more careful so errors don't slow down the reader. Line 2-"now" and "said" don't match, the former present tense, the latter past tense. Maybe change "said" to "say". Line 3-"makeup" should be "make up". Line 5-"we're" should be "were". Also, is there more? It felt like the last line was the beginning of a sentence.
Comment Written 30-Oct-2020
reply by the author on 30-Oct-2020
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Thanks, but this was released in error . I didn?t see the ?no preview?
-
Thanks, but this was released in error . I didn?t see the ?no preview?