On a Withered Branch
5/7/5 Classic Winter Haiku16 total reviews
Comment from Liz O'Neill
It as if the branch is demonstrating a strong foreshadowing. As if the branch is saying, : yes you'd better rest up. You will eventually feel withered like I do. I've bounced and swayed as if flying and you will so be doing the same. This is a strong message.
reply by the author on 06-Nov-2020
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It as if the branch is demonstrating a strong foreshadowing. As if the branch is saying, : yes you'd better rest up. You will eventually feel withered like I do. I've bounced and swayed as if flying and you will so be doing the same. This is a strong message.
Comment Written 05-Nov-2020
reply by the author on 06-Nov-2020
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Thank you very much for your review and kind words.
Gypsy
Comment from Dolly'sPoems
The birds who fly south take on a mammoth task and not all of them make it to their destination, it is a brave pursuit of warmer climes, much enjoyed, love Dolly x
reply by the author on 01-Nov-2020
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The birds who fly south take on a mammoth task and not all of them make it to their destination, it is a brave pursuit of warmer climes, much enjoyed, love Dolly x
Comment Written 01-Nov-2020
reply by the author on 01-Nov-2020
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Thank you very much for your review and kind words
Comment from Sandra du Plessis
A very well-written classic haiku about the sparrows who take a rest on the withered branch before they undertake the long flight south where warmer weather awaits.
reply by the author on 31-Oct-2020
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A very well-written classic haiku about the sparrows who take a rest on the withered branch before they undertake the long flight south where warmer weather awaits.
Comment Written 31-Oct-2020
reply by the author on 31-Oct-2020
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Thank you
Comment from Sugarray77
This is a .. compelling.. ;) haiku, Gypsy, and a wonderful entry for this contest. I liked your satori. I am always a fan of poems about birds. Good luck.
Melissa
reply by the author on 31-Oct-2020
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This is a .. compelling.. ;) haiku, Gypsy, and a wonderful entry for this contest. I liked your satori. I am always a fan of poems about birds. Good luck.
Melissa
Comment Written 31-Oct-2020
reply by the author on 31-Oct-2020
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Thank you very much for the Lovely review and feedback. Have a great weekend.
Hugs
Gypsy
Comment from Katherine M. (k-11)
I sometimes find these constructions puzzling. I read it as though the Southern wind compels the rest, not the long flight. Why does my brain work like that?
reply by the author on 31-Oct-2020
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I sometimes find these constructions puzzling. I read it as though the Southern wind compels the rest, not the long flight. Why does my brain work like that?
Comment Written 31-Oct-2020
reply by the author on 31-Oct-2020
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The subject of the poem is the sparrow but it also can be a warm wind compels us all to seek warmer places, either way it's okay.
Thank you very much for the great review and feedback. Have a great weekend.
Hugs
Gypsy
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The subject of the poem is the sparrows but it could be anybody compelled to go to warmer places when it's cold.
Thank you very much for the Lovely review and feedback. Have a great weekend.
Hugs
Gypsy
Comment from Iza Deleanu
WOW, my lovely Gipsy what an vivid image: "on a withered branch
sparrows rest before long flight --
southern wind compels" Thank you for sharing and good luck with your writings.
reply by the author on 30-Oct-2020
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WOW, my lovely Gipsy what an vivid image: "on a withered branch
sparrows rest before long flight --
southern wind compels" Thank you for sharing and good luck with your writings.
Comment Written 30-Oct-2020
reply by the author on 30-Oct-2020
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Thank you very much, Iza :)
hugs
Comment from equestrik
This is a lovely Haiku. I really love the silhouette as your visual. The whole presentation makes a complete package. I think you are a master at haiku! :) This is a nice entry for the contest, best of luck to you!
reply by the author on 30-Oct-2020
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This is a lovely Haiku. I really love the silhouette as your visual. The whole presentation makes a complete package. I think you are a master at haiku! :) This is a nice entry for the contest, best of luck to you!
Comment Written 30-Oct-2020
reply by the author on 30-Oct-2020
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Thank you very much for your review and kind words, I appreciate it.
Hugs
Comment from royowen
As usual you use the most delicious language in these excellently composed haiku, I didn't realise sparrows actually migrated, with those tiny wings, need a wind change. Well done, blessings Roy
reply by the author on 30-Oct-2020
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As usual you use the most delicious language in these excellently composed haiku, I didn't realise sparrows actually migrated, with those tiny wings, need a wind change. Well done, blessings Roy
Comment Written 30-Oct-2020
reply by the author on 30-Oct-2020
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Thank you very much for your review and kind words.
Gypsy hugs
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Welcome Gypsy
Comment from juliaSjames
Gypsy
I never thought of sparrows migrating. They always seem to be around.
What a beautiful kigo and how easily you incorporate it into your elegant write.
As regards birds, I've only seen geese on the move, honking in their v shaped formations. They pass over in a flash. But I was most impressed by seeing a monarch butterfly take flight. It didn't flutter here and there. It zoomed up, adjusted it's direction and was away, south over the rooftops. Myself and my family were screaming "Go monarch, go!"
Because of these recollections, I suggest
southern wind compels
for the satori
Because it seems that the instinct to fly south overrules everything else.
Thanks for organizing this contest. It's a pleasure to support you and I will be posting an entry.
Stay safe, creative and blessed
Julia
reply by the author on 30-Oct-2020
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Gypsy
I never thought of sparrows migrating. They always seem to be around.
What a beautiful kigo and how easily you incorporate it into your elegant write.
As regards birds, I've only seen geese on the move, honking in their v shaped formations. They pass over in a flash. But I was most impressed by seeing a monarch butterfly take flight. It didn't flutter here and there. It zoomed up, adjusted it's direction and was away, south over the rooftops. Myself and my family were screaming "Go monarch, go!"
Because of these recollections, I suggest
southern wind compels
for the satori
Because it seems that the instinct to fly south overrules everything else.
Thanks for organizing this contest. It's a pleasure to support you and I will be posting an entry.
Stay safe, creative and blessed
Julia
Comment Written 30-Oct-2020
reply by the author on 30-Oct-2020
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Thank you very much for your lovely and helpful review. I changed that word. It made me think of the Exorcist..."...the power of God compels you! the power of God compels you! the power of God compels you!" LoL
Thank you very much, have a great weekend.
Gypsy hugs
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LOLOL
Comment from dovemarie
Dear Gypsy, just read another poem that had white letters and a black background, called "Winter Woes," by a fellow Fan Storian, your poem and picture give me the chills too, but it's a good picture of a sparrow clinging to a tree, the white makes me think of snow and the black makes me think of a dark day. Dove
reply by the author on 30-Oct-2020
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Dear Gypsy, just read another poem that had white letters and a black background, called "Winter Woes," by a fellow Fan Storian, your poem and picture give me the chills too, but it's a good picture of a sparrow clinging to a tree, the white makes me think of snow and the black makes me think of a dark day. Dove
Comment Written 29-Oct-2020
reply by the author on 30-Oct-2020
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Thank you very much for taking the time to read my poem. Have a great day, Dove.
Gypsy
