Renga Multi-Author Book
Viewing comments for Chapter 86 "A Blue Jay in the Snow"Renga is a Japanese linked poetry 5/7/5 and 7/7
4 total reviews
Comment from estory
This had a nice oriental feel to it, good balance and that nature image, with this moment of epiphany. There is a sense of the bird here being in a moment of decision, in a moment of hope, and it brings the idea of nature and man together to complete the sense of experience. estory
reply by the author on 20-Oct-2020
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This had a nice oriental feel to it, good balance and that nature image, with this moment of epiphany. There is a sense of the bird here being in a moment of decision, in a moment of hope, and it brings the idea of nature and man together to complete the sense of experience. estory
Comment Written 20-Oct-2020
reply by the author on 20-Oct-2020
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Thanks. I do try to write poetry. I think I even got the meter right this time. I was going to write about Snow to continue from Gypsy's 5-7-5 poem and found this Blue Jay picture from FanArtReview. Then it came the couplet. Why is it oriental?
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Haiku and Renga are oriental forms. The balance is different, the structure is a bit different. estory
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It is Japanese. Sure.
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One is supposed to write about nature in Haiku. Original I didn?t know about that so I contributed a poem about Hallucination. A reviewer did ask me why. I also contributed a poem about a Dragon spitting out fire.
Comment from Gypsy Blue Rose
A Blue Jay in the Snow
by Lisa Wharton
Hello, Lisa,
Wow, what a wonderful couplet! Perfect continuation to my 5/7/5 poem. Good syllable count and connection between lines. I love the presentation, blue is my favorite color and I feel the same way about better times ahead. Excellent job. Thank you very much.
reply by the author on 20-Oct-2020
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A Blue Jay in the Snow
by Lisa Wharton
Hello, Lisa,
Wow, what a wonderful couplet! Perfect continuation to my 5/7/5 poem. Good syllable count and connection between lines. I love the presentation, blue is my favorite color and I feel the same way about better times ahead. Excellent job. Thank you very much.
Comment Written 20-Oct-2020
reply by the author on 20-Oct-2020
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Thank you so much. It was inspired by your poem. We inspired each other. This is a spirit of collaboration.
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True, that's what Renga is about :)
Comment from Carmen Ducharme
Nicely written .you followed the pattern correctly told a story in the correct format and still left room for addition Well done I enjoyed it very much
reply by the author on 20-Oct-2020
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Nicely written .you followed the pattern correctly told a story in the correct format and still left room for addition Well done I enjoyed it very much
Comment Written 20-Oct-2020
reply by the author on 20-Oct-2020
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Thank you so much.
Comment from Elizabeth Emerald
heads up: line two is 8 syllables --unless you intend pondering to be pronounced pond'ring--in which case write it as such.
Elegant alliteration-- blue/brood. Cheers. LIZ
Ponders--excellent!
reply by the author on 20-Oct-2020
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heads up: line two is 8 syllables --unless you intend pondering to be pronounced pond'ring--in which case write it as such.
Elegant alliteration-- blue/brood. Cheers. LIZ
Ponders--excellent!
Comment Written 19-Oct-2020
reply by the author on 20-Oct-2020
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Thanks. Should I use Ponder instead?
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ponders (singular blue jay)