Reggie's Fool
We are our own fools4 total reviews
Comment from equestrik
This is a good write for this contest. I think in the line: Her mere presents, it should read presence. Good writing and creative development of the theme. Best of luck to you!
reply by the author on 23-Oct-2020
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This is a good write for this contest. I think in the line: Her mere presents, it should read presence. Good writing and creative development of the theme. Best of luck to you!
Comment Written 22-Oct-2020
reply by the author on 23-Oct-2020
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Thank you for noticing and pointing that mistake out.
Comment from Michael Ludwinder
I think you need a little more detail to make this work. Lisa suddenly drugging him doesn't ring true. I think because we don't know enough about being we just get the introduction from Reggie. Perhaps is you introduce dialogue to show how she gets the upper hand on him this might ring more true. That being said the writing is solid and this is very enjoyable. Great job.
reply by the author on 19-Oct-2020
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I think you need a little more detail to make this work. Lisa suddenly drugging him doesn't ring true. I think because we don't know enough about being we just get the introduction from Reggie. Perhaps is you introduce dialogue to show how she gets the upper hand on him this might ring more true. That being said the writing is solid and this is very enjoyable. Great job.
Comment Written 18-Oct-2020
reply by the author on 19-Oct-2020
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I was under a word count. I have had others tell me they wanted to know how Reggie was able to get the information from her. When I revise I hope to add this information.
Comment from humpwhistle
So, Lisa had been selling her work all along, I guess. I'm unclear about how Reggie procured those papers and notes he'd been selling. Did she have a stockpile lying around? Did he sneak them out of her dorm room?
I wish the mechanics were a bit clearer.
Best of luck.
Peace, Lee
reply by the author on 17-Oct-2020
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So, Lisa had been selling her work all along, I guess. I'm unclear about how Reggie procured those papers and notes he'd been selling. Did she have a stockpile lying around? Did he sneak them out of her dorm room?
I wish the mechanics were a bit clearer.
Best of luck.
Peace, Lee
Comment Written 17-Oct-2020
reply by the author on 17-Oct-2020
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I could do a little more to explain how Reggie got a hold of the information. I had to fit within the world count, but when I revise the piece I will be sure to include this.
Comment from Poetic Friend
This is an exceptionally written modern day fable. It is the equivalent of the fable, "The Cat, the Rooster, and the Mouse" . The reader can easily see the comparison.
In modern day times, this poem will get the reader thinking and take extra precautions. You did great job in conveying your message/moral.
Good luck in the contest. This one story is a good contender.
reply by the author on 17-Oct-2020
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This is an exceptionally written modern day fable. It is the equivalent of the fable, "The Cat, the Rooster, and the Mouse" . The reader can easily see the comparison.
In modern day times, this poem will get the reader thinking and take extra precautions. You did great job in conveying your message/moral.
Good luck in the contest. This one story is a good contender.
Comment Written 17-Oct-2020
reply by the author on 17-Oct-2020
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Thank you I am glad you liked it.