All Those Puzzling Pieces
Viewing comments for Chapter 17 "In Velvet Dark"What makes a life? How do the pieces fit?
87 total reviews
Comment from Scribbler67
I did, in fact, read this out loud, because I felt the surging cadence with the first reading. This is a beautiful, flowing yet almost urgent free-style poem, full of heat and emotion. You skilfully take the reader through this dance of passion, to its inevitable, yet only imagined, conclusion.
An unusual poem, with a delightfully original approach. Most enjoyable. Well done, and all the best for the contest.
reply by the author on 15-Feb-2013
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I did, in fact, read this out loud, because I felt the surging cadence with the first reading. This is a beautiful, flowing yet almost urgent free-style poem, full of heat and emotion. You skilfully take the reader through this dance of passion, to its inevitable, yet only imagined, conclusion.
An unusual poem, with a delightfully original approach. Most enjoyable. Well done, and all the best for the contest.
Comment Written 15-Feb-2013
reply by the author on 15-Feb-2013
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oh thank you so much Scribbler!
Comment from Starlit Ink
"In Velvet Dark" is passionate, and tells of a heated romantic night without being vulgar. You fulfilled the prompt in an expertly written fashion. You say: "seduce my heart" instead of my body, but they all go together, and this was a soft and delicate way to say it.
Winner, winner! Good job.
reply by the author on 15-Feb-2013
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"In Velvet Dark" is passionate, and tells of a heated romantic night without being vulgar. You fulfilled the prompt in an expertly written fashion. You say: "seduce my heart" instead of my body, but they all go together, and this was a soft and delicate way to say it.
Winner, winner! Good job.
Comment Written 15-Feb-2013
reply by the author on 15-Feb-2013
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thanks for getting the restraint & subtlety Starlit!
Comment from Tina McKala
my personal winner of the contest. what more can I say? I loved the images, the beginning, the part with mirrors, second stanza was brilliant... hard to choose, it was really great!
reply by the author on 15-Feb-2013
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my personal winner of the contest. what more can I say? I loved the images, the beginning, the part with mirrors, second stanza was brilliant... hard to choose, it was really great!
Comment Written 15-Feb-2013
reply by the author on 15-Feb-2013
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yeah! I knew you'd "get" this one Tina!
Comment from Brumar97
This is a well written piece. It has a great rhythm (actually one of the best I've read in a while). I feel that the word choice worked well to create images for me - the reader; however, the third stanza was weaker than the others. But that could simply be that I'm an old "fuddy-duddy" when it comes to romance:)Over all a definite thumbs up!
reply by the author on 15-Feb-2013
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This is a well written piece. It has a great rhythm (actually one of the best I've read in a while). I feel that the word choice worked well to create images for me - the reader; however, the third stanza was weaker than the others. But that could simply be that I'm an old "fuddy-duddy" when it comes to romance:)Over all a definite thumbs up!
Comment Written 15-Feb-2013
reply by the author on 15-Feb-2013
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thx so much my dear!
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you're welcome:)
Comment from sweetwoodjax
this isvery well written, mystery writer, you did an excellent job writing this free verse poem about the dance of love, excellent imagery presented here. good luck in the contest
reply by the author on 15-Feb-2013
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this isvery well written, mystery writer, you did an excellent job writing this free verse poem about the dance of love, excellent imagery presented here. good luck in the contest
Comment Written 15-Feb-2013
reply by the author on 15-Feb-2013
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thx sweets!
Comment from Linda Lee
Some very nice imagery on this one! I loved the rhythm--as though the words were dancing too. And now I've just read your authors note and I see that was your intent. Well, I really did write that comment before I saw that so I'm glad the intent was made so clear by excellent writing.
Nice work!
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reply by the author on 15-Feb-2013
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Some very nice imagery on this one! I loved the rhythm--as though the words were dancing too. And now I've just read your authors note and I see that was your intent. Well, I really did write that comment before I saw that so I'm glad the intent was made so clear by excellent writing.
Nice work!
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Comment Written 15-Feb-2013
reply by the author on 15-Feb-2013
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Bless you Linda!
Comment from Gypsy Starchild
"hardness arching toward me" May be taken by some as blatant... I don't care though... I like this piece a lot. It reads well, it held my attention (and I'm not even to much of a romance poetry fan), The rhymes feel natural and unforced, and I like the rhythm you used. Good luck in the contest.
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reply by the author on 15-Feb-2013
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"hardness arching toward me" May be taken by some as blatant... I don't care though... I like this piece a lot. It reads well, it held my attention (and I'm not even to much of a romance poetry fan), The rhymes feel natural and unforced, and I like the rhythm you used. Good luck in the contest.
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 15-Feb-2013
reply by the author on 15-Feb-2013
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tut tut - you must have a naughty mind - the dear man has a hard, muscular body and is dancing, leaning towards her ... how much more innocent can we be? :)))))))))))))))))))))))) ps: I'm not a romance poetry fan either.