All Those Puzzling Pieces
Viewing comments for Chapter 26 "Not enough?"What makes a life? How do the pieces fit?
101 total reviews
Comment from K.W.
So eloquently spoken. Covers a lot of ground but ties together nicely. I like the voice here. Good use of enjambment, flows nicely from one thought to the next. Heartbreaking and profound. Very best, k
reply by the author on 04-Feb-2013
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So eloquently spoken. Covers a lot of ground but ties together nicely. I like the voice here. Good use of enjambment, flows nicely from one thought to the next. Heartbreaking and profound. Very best, k
Comment Written 04-Feb-2013
reply by the author on 04-Feb-2013
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Thx so much k.
Comment from ravenblack
as usual, excellent poem. again, like your playful, rhythmical romp through language. and you are very honest in your poem - you too turn away from the retarded man which, if we are honest w/ourselves, we the readers also do at times. there is only one word that bothers me, and that is when you describe his mouth as " raped and drooling" I know what you are saying, but rape is such a charged word that it overwhelms some of the other descriptors.
reply by the author on 04-Feb-2013
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as usual, excellent poem. again, like your playful, rhythmical romp through language. and you are very honest in your poem - you too turn away from the retarded man which, if we are honest w/ourselves, we the readers also do at times. there is only one word that bothers me, and that is when you describe his mouth as " raped and drooling" I know what you are saying, but rape is such a charged word that it overwhelms some of the other descriptors.
Comment Written 04-Feb-2013
reply by the author on 04-Feb-2013
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meaning "raped by life" rb ... :)S
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that is what i figured. other readers might not get it ( but that's okay - don't believe in dumbing poems down)
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:)
Comment from Righteous Riter
This piece flowed really well and had the harmony to match. My attention is reeled in from the start and held to the end. The message is clear and understandable. Good job.
reply by the author on 04-Feb-2013
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This piece flowed really well and had the harmony to match. My attention is reeled in from the start and held to the end. The message is clear and understandable. Good job.
Comment Written 04-Feb-2013
reply by the author on 04-Feb-2013
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thx RR! :)S
Comment from dejohnsrld (Debbie)
Great poem and congratulations on winning. I didn't even see this contest-sounds like it is just my style. Inequality is so prevalent, we don't even notice it most of the time. At least most people don't. Great write~Debbie
reply by the author on 04-Feb-2013
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Great poem and congratulations on winning. I didn't even see this contest-sounds like it is just my style. Inequality is so prevalent, we don't even notice it most of the time. At least most people don't. Great write~Debbie
Comment Written 04-Feb-2013
reply by the author on 04-Feb-2013
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thx so much, Debbie! yes, this one would have been right up your alley, yes? :)S
Comment from alexisleech
This is a very thought provoking poem, and I'm sure it will resonate with many. I used to stop and put money into nearly every begging bowl I came across when I was out shopping (much to my children's amusement!) After a while, the empathy runs out though, and looking after your own becomes a priority, especially in these hard times. I'm not surprised your excellent poem was a winner. Congratulations!
Alexis x
reply by the author on 04-Feb-2013
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This is a very thought provoking poem, and I'm sure it will resonate with many. I used to stop and put money into nearly every begging bowl I came across when I was out shopping (much to my children's amusement!) After a while, the empathy runs out though, and looking after your own becomes a priority, especially in these hard times. I'm not surprised your excellent poem was a winner. Congratulations!
Alexis x
Comment Written 04-Feb-2013
reply by the author on 04-Feb-2013
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agreed 100% alexis! :)S
Comment from prayingpoet
Wow, you hit the nail on the head with this one. We pass people like this every day and just go right on by without another thought. Great work
reply by the author on 04-Feb-2013
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Wow, you hit the nail on the head with this one. We pass people like this every day and just go right on by without another thought. Great work
Comment Written 04-Feb-2013
reply by the author on 04-Feb-2013
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thx so much pp! :)S
Comment from ZBaron
This is a very powerful piece and it is clear why it won, as it seemingly, deservedly did so. Your words, although direct and provoking, are very well-worded and almost musical. I very much enjoyed this read as it is paced with grace that kept me going from word to word in line after line.
reply by the author on 04-Feb-2013
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This is a very powerful piece and it is clear why it won, as it seemingly, deservedly did so. Your words, although direct and provoking, are very well-worded and almost musical. I very much enjoyed this read as it is paced with grace that kept me going from word to word in line after line.
Comment Written 04-Feb-2013
reply by the author on 04-Feb-2013
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Thanks ZB! :)S
Comment from seewhatimwritingnow
You've done it again- Congratulations on your win! As always, nothing but professionalism in this presentation. You allowed us to stroll a bit through your life- filling your cart at the grocery story- buying cheap, made-in-China stuff- the retarded boy/man on the street (Hungry). Thank you for taking us along and allowing us to see it all, through your wise and observant eyes! Love it. Betty
reply by the author on 04-Feb-2013
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You've done it again- Congratulations on your win! As always, nothing but professionalism in this presentation. You allowed us to stroll a bit through your life- filling your cart at the grocery story- buying cheap, made-in-China stuff- the retarded boy/man on the street (Hungry). Thank you for taking us along and allowing us to see it all, through your wise and observant eyes! Love it. Betty
Comment Written 04-Feb-2013
reply by the author on 04-Feb-2013
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Thank you Betty! :)Sharyn
Comment from Tina McKala
this was a great poem. i did not notice the prompt, but you did really great job! its meaning was well presented and the images of two worlds meeting on a street very poignant.
reply by the author on 04-Feb-2013
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this was a great poem. i did not notice the prompt, but you did really great job! its meaning was well presented and the images of two worlds meeting on a street very poignant.
Comment Written 04-Feb-2013
reply by the author on 04-Feb-2013
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I just happened to see the prompt when I was sitting having tea in the afternoon sun ... wondering what to do for a half hour ... (like that's usually a problem?) :)S
Comment from artemis53
Excellent. It is almost as if you have roamed streets and taken pictures affixing each with captions. Beautifully done, Sharyn. I hope all is going well with you.
reply by the author on 04-Feb-2013
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Excellent. It is almost as if you have roamed streets and taken pictures affixing each with captions. Beautifully done, Sharyn. I hope all is going well with you.
Comment Written 04-Feb-2013
reply by the author on 04-Feb-2013
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Thank you SO much Diane! And a special thank you for that lovely SIX! yes, all well, way too busy as it's our slamming tourist season and my 16 year old's about to get his driver's licence (which makes me nervous) ... how about you?
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I'm just plain busy, Sharon. Almost all of the equipment is new in the ICU and I'm masterminding their computer program for charting. I work through the 12 hours straight and am not one to sit.