Comment from Patti R.

Excellent

This is so pretty! How do you do this? Take a perfectly normal cup of coffee (second cup) and turn it into an early morning painting session! Lovely, Sharon. Ah what I wouldn't give for some green grass right about now.

Loved this.
Patti

p.s. I just can't stand that powdered creamer crap!

 Comment Written 30-Jan-2013

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reply by the author on 30-Jan-2013

ha ha ha ... me neither, Patti! It's GROSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS! A friend of mine gave me a couple of poetry books by Billy Collins. I have one in the loo - delightful early morning reading ... so there we are ... loo inspired early morning great thoughts :) he he he ... thought I substituted "powdery stuff" for "crap" as some people thought "crap" was a little too off the wall ... what do you think? Personally I rather LIKE "crap" but we don't want the oldies to have heart attacks now, do we?

reply by Patti R. on 30-Jan-2013

oh no! Is 'crap' now on the bad-word list, too?!!

reply by the author on 30-Jan-2013

no, so much on a "bad word" list (or they'll be crap out of luck, so to speak) - it's more that the rest of the piece was quiet and lyrical, so they felt "crap" was a little out of place. I laughed a lot, as my Canadian guests called me yesterday, asking if I had any "real cream" - and we had a funny converation about American "crap" wanna-be cream-er :))))

Comment from Gungalo

Excellent

This is lovely Sharyn and a real glimpse into why you moved there. I find I love my island life and everything in it. To make a move now, I'd definitely suffer for it is just as you say.

 Comment Written 30-Jan-2013

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reply by the author on 30-Jan-2013

thx gungalo - I'm reading some Billy Collins at the moment, so he's rubbing off a bit. Do you think it's ok to use "crap" in this piece, or do you think I should be waxing more into purple lyricism?

reply by Gungalo on 30-Jan-2013

I all most told you to can that but then it's you. If you are looking to have purple lyricism, what the hell is that, then leave it in. LOL

Comment from Bobbi22

Excellent

With a day as beautiful as that, why would you close your door. Your vivid imagery takes the reader to that magical tropical place you call home. I had to laugh about the powdered crap - I agree. Very well written free verse. Good luck in the contest.

 Comment Written 30-Jan-2013

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reply by the author on 30-Jan-2013

thx so much RP - do you think it's ok to use "crap" in there, or do you think I should be more suitably "poetic"? :)Sharyn

Comment from McMurry903

Excellent

This is wonderful, Sharyn! I love the beautiful imagery in this poem! You really shared a nice start to the day with us here, my friend. Well done, I wish you the best of luck in this contest! Brian

 Comment Written 30-Jan-2013

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reply by the author on 30-Jan-2013

Glad you enjoyed it, Brian - thank you so much my dear! Do you think it's ok to use "crap" in this piece, or should I be waxing more lyrical?

reply by McMurry903 on 30-Jan-2013

Well, I thought it read just fine, not jarring at all for me. Now I see you've changed to 'stuff'....I do think that is better though really when thinking in the piece as a whole.

Comment from Earl of Oxford

Excellent

Hi, Sharyn.

I think 'crap' is unnecessary, though it did make me laugh, as I was washed away by the serious beauty of the poem up til that. I'm shocked! LOL.

Lovely vision as you contemplate nature and express in excellent metaphors and internal rhyme.

Ah...you leave your door open, do you?. Next time I'm in Hawaii, I may pop round and steal your valuables when you're out contemplating nature's wonders. LOL

Nice one.

Best wishes, Ray

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 Comment Written 30-Jan-2013

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reply by the author on 30-Jan-2013

aah, so you think I should lose the crap, hmm? Yes, you're probably right, Ray ... I'll see if I can think of a suitably poetic substitute! Thx so much! :)S