Comment from Jane Johnson

Excellent

I probably have read this poem by Robert Frost and will do so later, as I feel this poem needs to stand on its own to be rated. The words flowed well. You used good rhyme. I think I would've used heartache instead of heart's ache. I think it would have flowed a bit more smoothly with the same meaning. Thank you for sharing. Good artwork and imagery.

 Comment Written 14-Jul-2012

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reply by the author on 21-Jul-2012

Thanks, Jane.
Here's the Frost poem for comparison...
Steve

Stopping By Woods on a Snowy Evening
Whose woods these are I think I know.
His house is in the village though;
He will not see me stopping here
To watch his woods fill up with snow.

My little horse must think it queer
To stop without a farmhouse near
Between the woods and frozen lake
The darkest evening of the year.

He gives his harness bells a shake
To ask if there is some mistake.
The only other sound's the sweep
Of easy wind and downy flake.

The woods are lovely, dark and deep.
But I have promises to keep,
And miles to go before I sleep,
And miles to go before I sleep.

Comment from Gungalo

Excellent

Well I for one tink it's funnier than hell. The way you led into it is perfect and perhaps the part you feel should be looked into is this:

You stole my love, your first mistake.
Now you must pay for my heart's ache.
The snow hides secrets dark and deep
between the woods and frozen lake.

 Comment Written 13-Jul-2012

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reply by the author on 21-Jul-2012

Thank you, my friend.
Steve

reply by Gungalo on 21-Jul-2012

Surely.

Comment from visionary1234

Excellent

Well you naughty thing, playing with a classic! And with such NASTINESS ... VERY well captured though ... wouldn't want to get on the wrong side of you!!! Good atmospheric!

 Comment Written 13-Jul-2012

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reply by the author on 21-Jul-2012

Thank you - not to confuse me with the nasty narrator here - I am nothing but sweetness and light!
Steve

reply by visionary1234 on 21-Jul-2012

me too - just that people don't understand ... yeah!

Comment from Janet Foor

Excellent

I am one of those who has the Robert Frost poem on my top ten list. You did a very nice job with the "chain" rhyme. Nice cadence and wintry mood too. Very nicely done

 Comment Written 13-Jul-2012

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reply by the author on 21-Jul-2012

Thank you - I actually found the rhyme quite tricky, despite just borrowing most of it.
Steve

Comment from BadEducation

Excellent

I will make an effort and read the other poem too. But this one I think you did a very good job with it. I think the frozen lake is hiding the secret of murder. Maybe I am wrong but that is what my imagination thinks.

 Comment Written 13-Jul-2012

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reply by the author on 21-Jul-2012

Thank you - yes, you got the implied double murder.
Here's the original which is gentler...
Steve

Stopping By Woods on a Snowy Evening
Whose woods these are I think I know.
His house is in the village though;
He will not see me stopping here
To watch his woods fill up with snow.

My little horse must think it queer
To stop without a farmhouse near
Between the woods and frozen lake
The darkest evening of the year.

He gives his harness bells a shake
To ask if there is some mistake.
The only other sound's the sweep
Of easy wind and downy flake.

The woods are lovely, dark and deep.
But I have promises to keep,
And miles to go before I sleep,
And miles to go before I sleep.

Comment from Starlit Ink

Excellent

I enjoy satire and parodies of famous poems, and poor Frost he is always a favorite to satire isn't he? This is a witty satire, the only thing being that the last two lines almost say the same thing and could be spiced up a little. Other than that your irreverent witticism is fun to read.

 Comment Written 13-Jul-2012

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reply by the author on 21-Jul-2012

Thank you for the kind review. I kept the repetition in the last two lines to echo Frost whose last two lines are identical...
Steve

Comment from jhp124gr

Excellent

I am not familiar with the original version, but this is well written and has a smooth flow to it. Presenation was nice, good job... it was a pleasure to read it.

 Comment Written 13-Jul-2012

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reply by the author on 21-Jul-2012

Thank you - here is the famous original for your pleasure.
Steve

Stopping By Woods on a Snowy Evening
Whose woods these are I think I know.
His house is in the village though;
He will not see me stopping here
To watch his woods fill up with snow.

My little horse must think it queer
To stop without a farmhouse near
Between the woods and frozen lake
The darkest evening of the year.

He gives his harness bells a shake
To ask if there is some mistake.
The only other sound's the sweep
Of easy wind and downy flake.

The woods are lovely, dark and deep.
But I have promises to keep,
And miles to go before I sleep,
And miles to go before I sleep.

reply by jhp124gr on 24-Jul-2012

Nice, thanks...

Comment from Mary Ann MCPhedran

Excellent

A good write and I like the poem whatever you did to it / I'm not familiar with. I enjoyed rading your poem. Thanks for sharing with me. Mary

 Comment Written 13-Jul-2012

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reply by the author on 21-Jul-2012

Thank you. here is the famous original for your pleasure.
Steve

Stopping By Woods on a Snowy Evening
Whose woods these are I think I know.
His house is in the village though;
He will not see me stopping here
To watch his woods fill up with snow.

My little horse must think it queer
To stop without a farmhouse near
Between the woods and frozen lake
The darkest evening of the year.

He gives his harness bells a shake
To ask if there is some mistake.
The only other sound's the sweep
Of easy wind and downy flake.

The woods are lovely, dark and deep.
But I have promises to keep,
And miles to go before I sleep,
And miles to go before I sleep.

Comment from CheyLGwriter

Excellent

Wow! What a great piece. Really haunting. This is a true reflection of love gone wrong. This is the icy pain people feel when their love has been betrayed. I really enjoyed the read. Thanks for sharing.

 Comment Written 13-Jul-2012

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reply by the author on 21-Jul-2012

Thank you - glad you got that level of intensity out of it.
Steve

Comment from Curtis Hatch

Excellent

Wow, what a surprise ending...I didn't see that one coming. I enjoyed the poem, the meter and rhyme. The graphics add to the message of the poem. Good job...Curtis

 Comment Written 13-Jul-2012

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reply by the author on 21-Jul-2012

Thank you - here is the original for your pleasure.
Steve

Stopping By Woods on a Snowy Evening
Whose woods these are I think I know.
His house is in the village though;
He will not see me stopping here
To watch his woods fill up with snow.

My little horse must think it queer
To stop without a farmhouse near
Between the woods and frozen lake
The darkest evening of the year.

He gives his harness bells a shake
To ask if there is some mistake.
The only other sound's the sweep
Of easy wind and downy flake.

The woods are lovely, dark and deep.
But I have promises to keep,
And miles to go before I sleep,
And miles to go before I sleep.