How This Critter Crits
Viewing comments for Chapter 6 "Micro-Critter and the Eavesdropper"GROWTH? ADULATION? HURRY -- CHOOSE!
94 total reviews
Comment from nor84
Hello, Jay. This is your Ridgecrest buddy. Looking forward to more of this. Thanks for sharing. Found no errors at all. Good writing.
reply by the author on 20-Jan-2007
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Hello, Jay. This is your Ridgecrest buddy. Looking forward to more of this. Thanks for sharing. Found no errors at all. Good writing.
Comment Written 20-Jan-2007
reply by the author on 20-Jan-2007
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You are so kind. Thanks for stopping by. Zit cold up there at the Ridge? I'm writing this with the heater cranked up, my jacket on and a cup of coffee on the desk. See you next time. I have been doing more writing than reading. Bucks all gone. Now I'll have to beef up my supply for my next segment.
Jay
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We took a jaunt to Lancaster the other evening in my husband's new (second hand) pickup. Uh...no heater. Didn't know that. When we got back home (freezing!!) it was 16 degrees in Ridgecrest. Days are running in the 50s, nights in the 20s or thereabouts. Is it foggy down there? We lived there for more than 20 years.
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Not enough lingering moisture to produce fog. The first day of fog always starts on the day I have a mandantory meeting in LA (that'll be the 23rd) and I get socked in somewhere at the base of the Grapevine.
Jay
Comment from Marjorie D.
You bet I'll join you for the next one, Jay! You make instruction fun. You're absolutely right about overdone description. You find yourself internally shouting, "Get on with it!"
Notes:
typo ...and some of your (you) are saying...
But to continue on with the bunny... (Omit 'on'.)
I'm really looking forward to the next installment!
Marjorie
reply by the author on 20-Jan-2007
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You bet I'll join you for the next one, Jay! You make instruction fun. You're absolutely right about overdone description. You find yourself internally shouting, "Get on with it!"
Notes:
typo ...and some of your (you) are saying...
But to continue on with the bunny... (Omit 'on'.)
I'm really looking forward to the next installment!
Marjorie
Comment Written 20-Jan-2007
reply by the author on 20-Jan-2007
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Marjorie, thank you so very much, not only for your kind words, but also for pointing out the nits. You're great!
Jay
Comment from Chester McEnroe
Jay, you are my sensei. You've written the strategy guide to Fanstory.com. This stuff is amazing, man. Everyone should read this stuff like gospel. It's awesome!
reply by the author on 20-Jan-2007
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Jay, you are my sensei. You've written the strategy guide to Fanstory.com. This stuff is amazing, man. Everyone should read this stuff like gospel. It's awesome!
Comment Written 19-Jan-2007
reply by the author on 20-Jan-2007
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Omigod, Chip, you are just the fillip I need to keep me going over the weekend -- hell, for weeks and months to come! Can you just PM me once a week with something like, "Keep it up, man, you're g-r-r-reat!" Seriously, I do appreciate, more than you know, all your kind words. First thing Monday, I'm going to see if I can have your kind words tatooed on my chest. Thank you!
Jay
Comment from wizard_of_oz
Great topic... I'm learning and I might become an effective writer too. I'll surely be here to wait for your next writing hints and lectures. Thanks a lot, I know now the importance of dialogue in ones story, I'm glad you generously share your knowledge especially to beginners like me. My salute to you. More power!
reply by the author on 19-Jan-2007
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Great topic... I'm learning and I might become an effective writer too. I'll surely be here to wait for your next writing hints and lectures. Thanks a lot, I know now the importance of dialogue in ones story, I'm glad you generously share your knowledge especially to beginners like me. My salute to you. More power!
Comment Written 19-Jan-2007
reply by the author on 19-Jan-2007
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+Thank you so much, wizard, for your encouraging comments. I hope you stay aboard for the remaining segments.+
Jay
Comment from Martie
Dear Jay
I would take your class any day if you were a creative writing instructor, which you actually are with your words here....but I mean a class of real people with "real" interaction. You are so "right on". I really appreciate this chapter and find this so profound:
"He wants nothing less than to render the reader oblivious to the fact that he is reading."
Some of my most delicious moments have been lost within the life that is in the pages of a book, and also, lost within writing the life of something myself. I've called it the "zone" when I'm writing, and I guess the same could be said for reading. It is so much better than a movie, because I can make my own scene within my head.
So, thank you....for this. If you ever do have a "real" class...let me know. :)
reply by the author on 19-Jan-2007
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Dear Jay
I would take your class any day if you were a creative writing instructor, which you actually are with your words here....but I mean a class of real people with "real" interaction. You are so "right on". I really appreciate this chapter and find this so profound:
"He wants nothing less than to render the reader oblivious to the fact that he is reading."
Some of my most delicious moments have been lost within the life that is in the pages of a book, and also, lost within writing the life of something myself. I've called it the "zone" when I'm writing, and I guess the same could be said for reading. It is so much better than a movie, because I can make my own scene within my head.
So, thank you....for this. If you ever do have a "real" class...let me know. :)
Comment Written 19-Jan-2007
reply by the author on 19-Jan-2007
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Martie, you don't know how much your words mean to me. And the sixer speaks for your sincerity ... But, no, you'd be better off having someone who has a touch more sponteneity than I as a creative writing instructor. I am a most unspontaneous dullard when it comes to face-to-face interaction. I think it is the distance that I need between me and the reader. Martie, I really do appreciate your comments since they come from one who writes some of the best prose I've read at this site. You are that good. I'm happy that you see some value in what I'm doing...
Jay
Comment from Oatmeal
Jaysquires,
Nice. I enjoyed reading it very much. I saw no spelling or grammatical errors.
I saw no room for improvement.
I look forward to seeing you again.
Love,
Oatmeal
reply by the author on 19-Jan-2007
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Jaysquires,
Nice. I enjoyed reading it very much. I saw no spelling or grammatical errors.
I saw no room for improvement.
I look forward to seeing you again.
Love,
Oatmeal
Comment Written 19-Jan-2007
reply by the author on 19-Jan-2007
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Thank you so much, Oatmeal, for your comments. I hope you found my piece instructional and that you hang around for future installments.
Jay
Comment from Sue-z-Q
Hi Jay:
Interesting and tantalizing name for a chapter. I've never considered I was doing anything but reading, believing that is what the writer wants. To publish is to invite the reader into their story. Hopefully the writer is good enough to make a reader feel like they have joined the characters therein and is not just an eavesdropper.
I will join you for the next chapter. It sounds like it will be a very interesting topic.
This chapter is well thought out and developed with no nits or spags.
Maybe a future chapter will cover the things a publisher hates, like stories that start with a weather report. I'm not referring to the snow in this chapter. This isn't the beginning of the book.
Your fan, Sue-z-Q
reply by the author on 19-Jan-2007
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Hi Jay:
Interesting and tantalizing name for a chapter. I've never considered I was doing anything but reading, believing that is what the writer wants. To publish is to invite the reader into their story. Hopefully the writer is good enough to make a reader feel like they have joined the characters therein and is not just an eavesdropper.
I will join you for the next chapter. It sounds like it will be a very interesting topic.
This chapter is well thought out and developed with no nits or spags.
Maybe a future chapter will cover the things a publisher hates, like stories that start with a weather report. I'm not referring to the snow in this chapter. This isn't the beginning of the book.
Your fan, Sue-z-Q
Comment Written 19-Jan-2007
reply by the author on 19-Jan-2007
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I always await your crits with great anticipation. You seem to have the knack of zeroing in on what I was trying to say and in explaining your connection with it end up explaining it better than I. Thank you for your encouragement, Sue.
Jay
Comment from Lois Delaney
jaysquires, this is such a good write I can hardly believe it. You have come a long way and I think it's worth mentioning. Maybe you have done a lot of rewriting too. In any case, this is a great read, informative and funny too!
reply by the author on 19-Jan-2007
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jaysquires, this is such a good write I can hardly believe it. You have come a long way and I think it's worth mentioning. Maybe you have done a lot of rewriting too. In any case, this is a great read, informative and funny too!
Comment Written 19-Jan-2007
reply by the author on 19-Jan-2007
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I always love getting these kind of comments from people whose writing I respect. Thank you very much. I hope you come back for regular visits. You are always welcome.
Jay
Comment from Jack Lewis
I continue to be amazed at the way your chapters avoid all the pitfalls they illuminate and exhibit all the strengths they endorse. I feel (I hope, I should say) that I'm learning a great deal. Thanks!
reply by the author on 19-Jan-2007
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I continue to be amazed at the way your chapters avoid all the pitfalls they illuminate and exhibit all the strengths they endorse. I feel (I hope, I should say) that I'm learning a great deal. Thanks!
Comment Written 19-Jan-2007
reply by the author on 19-Jan-2007
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Jack, coming from someone whose skills I admire, this endorsement is doubly meaningful and appreciated. Thank you so very very much
Jay
Comment from rhymer1
Your style makes you narration acceptable as "clean". To start in motion is a typical trick used in films - a child runs through a park and the camera stops on the main character on a bench as the child passes her. an interesting looking character actor strolls through the hotel lounge as the main character enters through revolving doors - etc.
You treatment of "the hook" is a bit lacking in my opinion - modern novelists drop massive hooks and expect their tiny readers to get their mouths around them. Green eyes are a boring old hook; so over used I flinch when exposed.
I believe you could punch up the humor/wit in this chapter, but it still warents a five. Cheers, rhymer1
reply by the author on 19-Jan-2007
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Your style makes you narration acceptable as "clean". To start in motion is a typical trick used in films - a child runs through a park and the camera stops on the main character on a bench as the child passes her. an interesting looking character actor strolls through the hotel lounge as the main character enters through revolving doors - etc.
You treatment of "the hook" is a bit lacking in my opinion - modern novelists drop massive hooks and expect their tiny readers to get their mouths around them. Green eyes are a boring old hook; so over used I flinch when exposed.
I believe you could punch up the humor/wit in this chapter, but it still warents a five. Cheers, rhymer1
Comment Written 19-Jan-2007
reply by the author on 19-Jan-2007
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Thank you for your candid crit, rhymer. Your knowledge of creative writing is a bonus to your feedback. Sorry about the humor thing. It's funny, isn't it, how once a style is established certain things in it become expected. Early on I was severely criticized by some for taking the subject too lightly, especially with my procivity for meandering. Later, I encountered disappointment with my readers when I didn't ramble enough. I am baffled, though, how your comments on "hooks" would be more appropriate for the last segment. I only touched on them here. Anyway... I DO appreciate your incisive perception. It is always welcome.
Jay
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Basic truth Jay: if you don't get critisized, it ain't worth posting it. I think I received ten 6* assessments on a posting that also attracted twelve 2,3 and 4 star ratings. On one posting I received three 6* and a 1* where the latter reviewer actually sent pm to the 6* reviewers asking them to retract them. How's that for a rare and deep hate? Cheers, Allister
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I do hope you didn't think I balked at the critique. I was just curious as to the focus on hooks, which was the previous chapter. I was quite pleased with how you stated your deeply felt convictions on hooks. No fault, no foul ... and what the hell does that mean?
Jay