Last Flight of the Red Baron.
Thinking about history.81 total reviews
Comment from Patty Mazzurco
Wow, what a day dream... this poem really draws you into the action! I love how you've brought the Red Baron's daring flight to life with such vivid detail. The imagery of the "blood red Fokker triplane" and the intense dogfight with the "British Sopwith Camel" is fantastic. You really feel the tension and excitement as the Baron takes to the skies.
If I could offer a little suggestion, tightening up some of the language could make the poem flow even better. The transitions between the Baron's maneuvers and the dramatic end might benefit from a bit more smoothness.
For instance, instead of "Baron Von Richthofen is airborne once more," you might try "The Red Baron soars into the sky again." This tweak keeps the action lively and smoothens the flow.
But honestly, you've captured such a powerful and emotional moment that it's hard not to be drawn in. Great job!
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reply by the author on 25-Jul-2024
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Wow, what a day dream... this poem really draws you into the action! I love how you've brought the Red Baron's daring flight to life with such vivid detail. The imagery of the "blood red Fokker triplane" and the intense dogfight with the "British Sopwith Camel" is fantastic. You really feel the tension and excitement as the Baron takes to the skies.
If I could offer a little suggestion, tightening up some of the language could make the poem flow even better. The transitions between the Baron's maneuvers and the dramatic end might benefit from a bit more smoothness.
For instance, instead of "Baron Von Richthofen is airborne once more," you might try "The Red Baron soars into the sky again." This tweak keeps the action lively and smoothens the flow.
But honestly, you've captured such a powerful and emotional moment that it's hard not to be drawn in. Great job!
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 24-Jul-2024
reply by the author on 25-Jul-2024
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Thank you for your kind words and insight.