All Those Puzzling Pieces
Viewing comments for Chapter 36 "Back and Forth"What makes a life? How do the pieces fit?
83 total reviews
Comment from Gypsy Starchild
Wow, this is really an amazing poem. I like the way you have eased the reader into the memory with the spacing of the lines... Everything about this poem is wonderful. It is my new favorite of your works. :)
reply by the author on 17-Mar-2013
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Wow, this is really an amazing poem. I like the way you have eased the reader into the memory with the spacing of the lines... Everything about this poem is wonderful. It is my new favorite of your works. :)
Comment Written 17-Mar-2013
reply by the author on 17-Mar-2013
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Bless you Gypsy - it's my new favorite too. I loved writing this one. Thank you so much for your wonderful six!
:)Sharyn
Comment from gotanenvoy
Very good poem, it has quite vivid images and evokes strong emotions.
When reading your poem I was taken back to memories of my late father.
Words act upon the mind to bring forth all types of emotions. The prose in your poem relaxed me and made me think of the good times I spent with my dad.
Excellent work, well done.
reply by the author on 17-Mar-2013
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Very good poem, it has quite vivid images and evokes strong emotions.
When reading your poem I was taken back to memories of my late father.
Words act upon the mind to bring forth all types of emotions. The prose in your poem relaxed me and made me think of the good times I spent with my dad.
Excellent work, well done.
Comment Written 17-Mar-2013
reply by the author on 17-Mar-2013
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Bless you for your wonderful six on this one ge! Strange what brings back memories, hmm?
Best wishes and many, many thanks,
Sharyn
Comment from vkmack
Oh, I do, too! I have the urge to call out, "Wait!" This is just heart-breaking. I wish I could give you more stars. You capture the rhythm perfectly with you phrasing and format. You capture us with your words and your experience here. We are just dragged into this like a whirlpool in the river, as "river water drips from tips of his oars and shatters into spinning sunlight." And we are shattered as well.
reply by the author on 17-Mar-2013
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Oh, I do, too! I have the urge to call out, "Wait!" This is just heart-breaking. I wish I could give you more stars. You capture the rhythm perfectly with you phrasing and format. You capture us with your words and your experience here. We are just dragged into this like a whirlpool in the river, as "river water drips from tips of his oars and shatters into spinning sunlight." And we are shattered as well.
Comment Written 17-Mar-2013
reply by the author on 17-Mar-2013
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Thank you so much vk - I still have that urge. Bless you for your wonderful response and for your magic six!
:)Sharyn
Comment from Tina McKala
Wow! This was a surprise poem, I expected something completely else - taking the title and the beginning into consideration - but it turned out to be a completely different, profound poem, memory full of love and light, recalling the good old times. Great write with an awesome twist!
reply by the author on 17-Mar-2013
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Wow! This was a surprise poem, I expected something completely else - taking the title and the beginning into consideration - but it turned out to be a completely different, profound poem, memory full of love and light, recalling the good old times. Great write with an awesome twist!
Comment Written 17-Mar-2013
reply by the author on 17-Mar-2013
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aaah, I lured you in, which is what I hoped would happen ... I'm so glad you liked this one too!
:)Sharyn
Comment from twowheels
nice flow between the present with your teenage son (the age of preoccupation portrayed well) and memories of your father. I wonder what the perspective of your son will be, hopefully fond memories of the gym and time spent with you. perhaps develop more of that?
reply by the author on 17-Mar-2013
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nice flow between the present with your teenage son (the age of preoccupation portrayed well) and memories of your father. I wonder what the perspective of your son will be, hopefully fond memories of the gym and time spent with you. perhaps develop more of that?
Comment Written 17-Mar-2013
reply by the author on 17-Mar-2013
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I wonder that too 2w - it will be interesting to see what those memories will be! :)Sharyn
Comment from October21
AW!! This is beautiful. LOL at you mentioning the hunks in the gym. Why don't I just move to Hawaii in two years and marry your son?:D Reflecting on all those memories and ways that you are alike. It's sad that your son never met his granddad but he'll have the stories of him from you to connect them.
reply by the author on 17-Mar-2013
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AW!! This is beautiful. LOL at you mentioning the hunks in the gym. Why don't I just move to Hawaii in two years and marry your son?:D Reflecting on all those memories and ways that you are alike. It's sad that your son never met his granddad but he'll have the stories of him from you to connect them.
Comment Written 17-Mar-2013
reply by the author on 17-Mar-2013
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It is sad Shenel - my dad was someone really special. And yes! come on over - Kai is 16 and pretty hunky! :)Sharyn
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Haha!!! I always say that when I'm older and have kids, I'll name my child Kai if he's a boy...:-) that's, like, the BEST name EVER!!:D
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You must take after your dad in being so special xx
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It means "ocean" in Hawaiian - actually his full name is Kai Nalu - Nalu means surf, or huge ocean wave.
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Imagine having a name with a meaning as beautiful as that- ocean wave... He's name after a glossy car, too!:-)
Comment from Brian Terry
I thought that you had captured a whole life in this charming and very clever poem.
It was full of imagery that resonated with me, it made me remember my time skulling on the Thames in the early morning.
I thought the inclusion of three generation was super
reply by the author on 17-Mar-2013
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I thought that you had captured a whole life in this charming and very clever poem.
It was full of imagery that resonated with me, it made me remember my time skulling on the Thames in the early morning.
I thought the inclusion of three generation was super
Comment Written 17-Mar-2013
reply by the author on 17-Mar-2013
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I loved watching them skulling the eights when I visited Windsor a few years ago Brian ... the late afternoon son ... made me think of my dad then, too, of course. Bless you for your wonderful six on this one! :)Sharyn
Comment from Eigle Rull
Wow! This was really good. I see you on a rowing machine, deep in the thought of your dad. He's there with you, making your effort very enjoyable. And it ends with you wishing your son could see him also. I found no mistakes at all. It was very well written. The meaning flowed with the words. This was really good.
Always with respect,
reply by the author on 17-Mar-2013
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Wow! This was really good. I see you on a rowing machine, deep in the thought of your dad. He's there with you, making your effort very enjoyable. And it ends with you wishing your son could see him also. I found no mistakes at all. It was very well written. The meaning flowed with the words. This was really good.
Always with respect,
Comment Written 17-Mar-2013
reply by the author on 17-Mar-2013
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thank you so much Eigle! :)Sharyn
Comment from Jumbo J
Hi Sharyn,
what a beautiful story, you took me on your journey down a brown,catfish infested river. So I'm guessing with all the bends, somewhere near Towong maybe?
I loved these cherished memories you shared as I did the easy flow of the rhythm of your stokes, beautifully penned.
Kindest thoughts,
James xx
******stars
reply by the author on 17-Mar-2013
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Hi Sharyn,
what a beautiful story, you took me on your journey down a brown,catfish infested river. So I'm guessing with all the bends, somewhere near Towong maybe?
I loved these cherished memories you shared as I did the easy flow of the rhythm of your stokes, beautifully penned.
Kindest thoughts,
James xx
******stars
Comment Written 17-Mar-2013
reply by the author on 17-Mar-2013
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can't fool you James - Toowong Rowing Club, right over the road from the old Regatta - my dad went to BBC! and yep - used to catch catfish there as a kid - never at them though - ik! :))S
Comment from country ranch writer
your memories are precious and you will always think of your Dad fondly. Have you shared your memories with your son? Did he know him at all? They have those long boats on the river every morning and hold races now and then.
reply by the author on 17-Mar-2013
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your memories are precious and you will always think of your Dad fondly. Have you shared your memories with your son? Did he know him at all? They have those long boats on the river every morning and hold races now and then.
Comment Written 17-Mar-2013
reply by the author on 17-Mar-2013
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thx so much crw - no, my first son knew him, but not my second son. My dad passed away aged 59, very suddenly, 23 years ago. My 2nd son is only 16. But I would have loved for him to have known him - he was a wonderful man. :)S
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WHAT ABOUT PICTURES HAVE YOU ALL TALKED ABOUT HIM TO YOUR SON EVEN THOUGH HE DIDNT KNOW HIM MAYBE HE COULD RELATE
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oh yes indeed - he knows how much I loved him - and my husband knew him too - so yes ... :)