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All Those Puzzling Pieces

Viewing comments for Chapter 28 "Pull Up a Blue Chair"
What makes a life? How do the pieces fit?

87 total reviews 
Comment from sunnilicious
Exceptional
This work has reached the exceptional level

That's some wild anger. It must be the presidental races. They got all kinds of crazy ideas looming just to sell themselves as the best one to cure all. Enjoyable poem. It's like a good gossip session. I like your wrap up. If life could be so simple. Great work. Loved it!

 Comment Written 02-Sep-2012


reply by the author on 02-Sep-2012
    thx so much sunni, I'm SO glad you loved it! Grrrrr! those guys drive me batty! bless you for spending one of your lovely sixes on me! :) Sharyn
reply by sunnilicious on 02-Sep-2012
    it's because you're awesome. but still, u're welcome. have a wonderful long weekend. :)
Comment from Meena Jawahrani
Excellent
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Fast, furious and focused is what I would say.

Loved the thought of a daily revolution to charge of our life's and make a meaningful difference to ourselves.

Cheers

 Comment Written 02-Sep-2012


reply by the author on 02-Sep-2012
    thx meena - glad you got the "daily revolution"! :) Sharyn
Comment from paul O'Brien
Excellent
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Well ma'm god dam
I won't slam

In 1935 Pablo Picasso
Was into Surreal poetry
unusual, but great stuff
wish we could turn the clock back

slam seems similar but more heated socio/political

if it becomes broader it may succeed - but as you say isn't all this hate and getting out of the void on our own accord the way to go. We know -why do we have to slam it home further


loved your reference to James dean and also the herd mentality

great effort--but not one I would sit in any "Blue " chair to read on a regular basis-- i'd rather be in the garden with the butterfliesand the bees

Salud
Paul

 Comment Written 02-Sep-2012


reply by the author on 02-Sep-2012
    me too Paul - that's the whole idea of the piece my dear - i.e. where WOULD you rather be? but that peace comes at a price - i.e. self responsibility. Right now, we bitch and moan, but the powermongers HAVE the power, and it will take a GREAT deal of determination to change that. But no, not meant to be a peaceful read ... sigh ... :) Sharyn
Comment from Onixxiya
Excellent
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It reads loud, fast and angry too. Really gets to your point quickly and drives it home, ever more biting another point in as you read along. I love how this ends on a positive, or rather, encouraging point for us to ponder. I really enjoyed this.

 Comment Written 02-Sep-2012


reply by the author on 02-Sep-2012
    thank you my dear - I don't believe in rants without hope! Glad you got that too! Blessings, Sharyn
Comment from Ralph Miller
Exceptional
This work has reached the exceptional level

And a great slam that is too, resonating with Aussies just as much as yanks. Often thought of what we could do on our 24 acres if the shit hit the fan. Already grow our year's supply (barring floods) of veges, eat out chooks and ducks, fish from the river, sell cattle. But when the bills come in, and how they do, it shows being self sufficent as the myth it is. Wouldn't have known what slam poetry was until I shared a cabin on The Spirit of Tasmania with Geoff Goodfellow, a pro travelling, performing slam poet and he read me a few. Wow! You cpould google him no doubt.

 Comment Written 02-Sep-2012


reply by the author on 02-Sep-2012
    yeah! thanks Ralph! I've been cogitating this one for a while ... yes, self sufficiency is a bit of a myth if you're still paying your bills - but a better chance than in a big city I would think. I'll google Geoff Goodfellow - how funny that you meet him on "The Spirit of Tasmania" - always seems so conservative there! Blessings, and big thx for your magic '6' dear! :) S
reply by Ralph Miller on 02-Sep-2012
    Yes, the Spirit people are generally pretty funny Tassie types. Two heads etc. Amazing that I met Geoff. Not all his poems are slams, but pretty well all have social commentry. Was a builders labourer 30 years ago, saw some good poetry, and in his words said, "I can fuckin write this stuff," Published 10 books, some re printed many times. The one I have is, "Waltzing with Jack Dancer." More a commentry about his battle with cancer. Has travelled the world performing. Very interesting tough as nails ex labourer, ex boxer bloke. Published in Adeliade by Wakefield Press.
Comment from OLA THOMAS
Excellent
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This must been done in a deep thought with a build up of anger of a failing, faulty system colored with falsehood. There is rhythymic speed in the piece that makes it read like a sing-song affair. Hope someone will listen and heed the message.

ola thomas

 Comment Written 02-Sep-2012


reply by the author on 02-Sep-2012
    yes, Ola, it was - and yes, I do hope so! thank you so much for reading my dear!
    blessings
    Sharyn
Comment from poesyapprentice
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

As always, a keep-me-riveted work. Love your style babe! Lol, ever write a short one? : ) Short, bam, knockout!? Would love to see it. Ok, sorry, back to this one. Our choices suck this year no matter which side of the political fence one resides on! Playground brawl over the ball going on up there with the focus on winning instead of the people they are supposed to serve. Gov't greed, Big Corp pay offs, the whole thing makes me ill. We think we have the power but not with the current system, we don't. Major overhaul is needed and personal responsibility accross the map! Blessings!

 Comment Written 02-Sep-2012


reply by the author on 02-Sep-2012
    thx poesy - I'll do a short sharp-shooter one for you next time dear, no worries! :) hugs, Sharyn
Comment from christianpowers
Excellent
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Very Kool... liked this a lot, V.

Slam poetry, eh?

It's a political commentary, but displayes hope and faith in the future.. sort of. The build the wall but plant a garden message resonated on me.

Good advice.

No suggestions for improvement. This is artistry. What am I supposed to do, say 'Hey, Leonardo, the woman in your painting should smile more."

Still, hope this helped.

Christian

 Comment Written 02-Sep-2012


reply by the author on 02-Sep-2012
    thx Christian - love your Leonardo comment my friend - and thank you!
Comment from Wes Guptill
Exceptional
This work has reached the exceptional level

BRAVO! BRAVO! MORE--MORE--MORE!!!!!
Ah, I am so glad Sunday has rolled around and that my bandolier of 6's has been replenished... And that there is no imposed embargo any longer standing against me issuing you that 6, the mark this work truly deserves. And that's just for the style, the structure, the cadence, and the smoking power in these lines of verse, which could be either Slam or Beat, and would still sound awesome through an open mike! I know, I read this aloud, hooking it to my daughter's karaoke machine! Yes, the neighbors all think I'm nuts! (And a dyed-in-the-wool pagan-liberal-homo-loving-give-the-country-away Democrat now; this Commonwealth is way too Red!) But wow! It had to ve done, read out-very-loud, outside. I may have just reached the plain of the National Mall, some 35 miles away, with my display. But I won't stop there! I'll herald this amazing poem around the world, if I can. Please tell me I can re-post this (with proper acknowledgment to you as author and creator, and still with your full rights and ownership...). I have good, close friend that is involved in Hip-Hop production and recording, and I know he or one of his associates has the raw talent, the power of voice, and the network to make this stunning work reach a HUGE audience! So whatta ya say? Want to try it? Could be some great PR, and a golden opportunity to make yourself tremendously heard!
If so, give me your number and email address in a private mail or send it to me in regular email to: wesguptill@gmail.com.
If not, then please know that I can hardly contain myself for this poem. STELLAR!
SALUD!
Beautiful, powerful, dynamic, and gut-punching work!
Love this writer!
Wes

 Comment Written 02-Sep-2012


reply by the author on 02-Sep-2012
    just wrote to you before Wes - I was so overjoyed when I opened my reviews to realize people "get" this piece! and yes! let's talk! :) ooo - I didn't even thank you for my '6'!!!
Comment from nighttripper
Exceptional
This work has reached the exceptional level

Only once I had the good fortune to see a Slam Poet perform. I wasn't to deep into this one when it hit me, or should I say slammed me. Immediately the pace changed and instead of reading I was taking a ride, similar to the performance I saw. I really enjoyed the whole piece and politics ain't my thing, but the words you used and the structure made it a pleasure for me to read. I wish you the best in the contest.

 Comment Written 02-Sep-2012


reply by the author on 02-Sep-2012
    hey thx n.t. - I walked out of the last Slam performance because the performers were so cruddy and the mike was awful - but I do "get" for slam form - finally - took me a while ... haven't written one before but this one was easy. Thank you SO MUCH for your magic '6' - I love it when people 'get' what I'm writing.
    Blessings,
    Sharyn