Steve's Story-Poems
Viewing comments for Chapter 10 "Something there is..."A collection of my poems
95 total reviews
Comment from strandloper
I am sure Robert Frost would have given his approval, well done. Good use of alliteration "Must,my; dark,deep;" Great twist at the end - well structured. Something I do wonder about is punctuation. I notice that you tend to start each line with a capital letter regardless of whether you have used a comma or none at the end of the previous line. I wondered what the purpose of it would be. Nonetheless, great write, very enjoyable.
reply by the author on 21-Jul-2012
  |
I am sure Robert Frost would have given his approval, well done. Good use of alliteration "Must,my; dark,deep;" Great twist at the end - well structured. Something I do wonder about is punctuation. I notice that you tend to start each line with a capital letter regardless of whether you have used a comma or none at the end of the previous line. I wondered what the purpose of it would be. Nonetheless, great write, very enjoyable.
Comment Written 14-Jul-2012
reply by the author on 21-Jul-2012
-
Thank you.
Traditional formatting of verse I would have thought, though not so much in vogue these days... I give you Frost's version for comparison which does the same.
Steve
Stopping By Woods on a Snowy Evening
Whose woods these are I think I know.
His house is in the village though;
He will not see me stopping here
To watch his woods fill up with snow.
My little horse must think it queer
To stop without a farmhouse near
Between the woods and frozen lake
The darkest evening of the year.
He gives his harness bells a shake
To ask if there is some mistake.
The only other sound's the sweep
Of easy wind and downy flake.
The woods are lovely, dark and deep.
But I have promises to keep,
And miles to go before I sleep,
And miles to go before I sleep.
-
Indeed he did as well. Many thanks for the copy of his lovely story telling poem. I do understand when we write an acrostic, to draw one's attention to the first letter of each line. But I still wonder why it is done under normal conditions. Again thank you for your trouble, much appreciated. Warm regards, Stella.
Comment from cvcopac
You were gentle with his, already, gently dark but somewhat spiritually, poem. You were gentle but stole the poems spirituality and replaced with a darker insight--a touch of Poe.
reply by the author on 21-Jul-2012
|
You were gentle with his, already, gently dark but somewhat spiritually, poem. You were gentle but stole the poems spirituality and replaced with a darker insight--a touch of Poe.
Comment Written 14-Jul-2012
reply by the author on 21-Jul-2012
-
Thank you for the nice review.
Steve
Comment from Kelleigh
I found it to be quite twisted with dark humor, lol...I think its a fun little tongue-in-cheek piece, and obviously it is not meant to insult those who do love this poem...I myself have never really understood the point of it, but, then again, I am not a poet, and never claim to understand what is to be taken from their words...
At any rate, it was a fun read, a nice little twist on "what happens next..." after the man admits to having a long way to go before sleeping! Well done :D
~Kelleigh
reply by the author on 21-Jul-2012
|
I found it to be quite twisted with dark humor, lol...I think its a fun little tongue-in-cheek piece, and obviously it is not meant to insult those who do love this poem...I myself have never really understood the point of it, but, then again, I am not a poet, and never claim to understand what is to be taken from their words...
At any rate, it was a fun read, a nice little twist on "what happens next..." after the man admits to having a long way to go before sleeping! Well done :D
~Kelleigh
Comment Written 14-Jul-2012
reply by the author on 21-Jul-2012
-
Thanks, kelleigh - well, he did leave a little mystery in his version so I tried to fill in the gaps...
Steve
Comment from misscookie
I thought you did a great job.
You had me on the edge of my chair, you had my attention from the first line to the last.
Thank you for sharing.
reply by the author on 21-Jul-2012
|
I thought you did a great job.
You had me on the edge of my chair, you had my attention from the first line to the last.
Thank you for sharing.
Comment Written 14-Jul-2012
reply by the author on 21-Jul-2012
-
Thank you.
Steve
-
You're very welcome, have a nice Sunday.
Comment from duchessofdrumborg
'Something there is....' is an extremely well-written and blood curdling piece. Not for a moment would I attempt to cross this talented poet. It was a pleasure to both read and review a work of this standard.
reply by the author on 21-Jul-2012
|
'Something there is....' is an extremely well-written and blood curdling piece. Not for a moment would I attempt to cross this talented poet. It was a pleasure to both read and review a work of this standard.
Comment Written 14-Jul-2012
reply by the author on 21-Jul-2012
-
Thank you.
Steve
-
Steve, you're very welcome.
Best wishes, the Duchess
Comment from Opal H.
As a particular admirer of Robert Frost's poem, I admit to reading this poem with eyes a little wider. It's a nice poem, though, i.e. it gives you a good chill imagining the person addressed! You've written it well and the humor comes mainly from recognising where the source is.
reply by the author on 21-Jul-2012
|
As a particular admirer of Robert Frost's poem, I admit to reading this poem with eyes a little wider. It's a nice poem, though, i.e. it gives you a good chill imagining the person addressed! You've written it well and the humor comes mainly from recognising where the source is.
Comment Written 14-Jul-2012
reply by the author on 21-Jul-2012
-
Thank you, Opal - I am just amazed at the number of people who have never heard of the original...
Steve
Comment from Chris Tee
Great parody Steve. This poem titled "Something there is" is an absolutely excellent piece of poetry and it is even better than the Frost poem Great poetry!
reply by the author on 21-Jul-2012
|
Great parody Steve. This poem titled "Something there is" is an absolutely excellent piece of poetry and it is even better than the Frost poem Great poetry!
Comment Written 14-Jul-2012
reply by the author on 21-Jul-2012
-
Thanks, Chris.
Steve
Comment from TXOxxxooo
There is a shadow side to satire, and a darke sense of humor here. I love Robert Frosts work but also can see that this is no harm in playing with words. Blessings T.K. McGowan
reply by the author on 21-Jul-2012
|
There is a shadow side to satire, and a darke sense of humor here. I love Robert Frosts work but also can see that this is no harm in playing with words. Blessings T.K. McGowan
Comment Written 14-Jul-2012
reply by the author on 21-Jul-2012
-
Thank you.
Steve
Comment from ephraim crud, COS.
well, Steve, i think this is far more intriguing
and a great improvement of the original! lol.
darkly excellent! very well penned and presented,
and thank you for sharing. regards, eph.
reply by the author on 21-Jul-2012
|
well, Steve, i think this is far more intriguing
and a great improvement of the original! lol.
darkly excellent! very well penned and presented,
and thank you for sharing. regards, eph.
Comment Written 14-Jul-2012
reply by the author on 21-Jul-2012
-
Thank you.
Steve
Comment from rhymelord
Dear Steve,
Excellent parody and, I must say, your poem has more character than Frost's. I prefer your aaba rhyme scheme also.
Regards
Reg
reply by the author on 21-Jul-2012
|
Dear Steve,
Excellent parody and, I must say, your poem has more character than Frost's. I prefer your aaba rhyme scheme also.
Regards
Reg
Comment Written 14-Jul-2012
reply by the author on 21-Jul-2012
-
Thank you, Reg, but you need to look at the rhyme scheme again...
I followed his exactly aaba bbcb ccdc .... Someone has referred to it as 'chain' rhyme and I actually found it quite tricky, even though I stole quite a few of his end words...
Steve