Reviews from

If I Can't Make the Shot

a swap quatrain

133 total reviews 
Comment from Glasstruth
Excellent
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What a great attitude. Wish society would have the drive, zeal to find solutions for our problems as the character you write about, assuming it's Sawyer. Nice flow and a wonderful message. Les

 Comment Written 27-Jun-2014


reply by the author on 27-Jun-2014
    Thanks so much, Les :-) Brooke
Comment from Smoothiecool
Exceptional
This work has reached the exceptional level

this is another of you clever writes
your first line of each stanza becomes the last line but with th first half of the line first then the first half the last of the line
good AA/BB rhyme theme through out stanzas

yes if i can't i will find away

great flow and rhythme

cheers..Smootiecool



 Comment Written 27-Jun-2014


reply by the author on 27-Jun-2014
    Smoothiecool, thank you so very much for your close reading of my poem and for your generous response to it :-) Brooke
reply by Smoothiecool on 28-Jun-2014
    Most welcome...SC..Faye
Comment from Tomes Johnston
Excellent
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This is yet another beautiful and interesting poem that the author has created with this piece of writing. Sawyer is at the heart of things once again and this is very nice for him to be the muse for your poetry. He will realise some day and it will be a great thing indeed.

 Comment Written 27-Jun-2014


reply by the author on 27-Jun-2014
    Tomes, thank you so much :-) Brooke
reply by Tomes Johnston on 28-Jun-2014
    My pleasure
Comment from IndianaIrish
Excellent
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I do enjoy reading your swap poetry, Brooke. Your quatrains contain a strong positive attitude with inspiring words. As alwYs, your rhymes and enjambment are wonderful.
Smiles,
Karyn : )

 Comment Written 27-Jun-2014


reply by the author on 27-Jun-2014
    Karyn, thank you so much :-) Brooke
Comment from catch22
Excellent
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Hi Brooke, very masterful write. I like how you invert the first line of each quatrain in the final line of the quatrain. It makes sense and gives the whole poem a subtle feeling of repetition. I've never heard of a swapped quatrain poem. Very clever. As always, good use of iambic meter and pure sounding rhymes for an adorable children's poem--and the lesson on perseverance and attitude is a good one.

 Comment Written 27-Jun-2014


reply by the author on 27-Jun-2014
    Gail, thanks so much, my friend. I had never heard of it before either until Warren Rogers posted one several days ago - he found the form on shadowpoetry.com. Brooke :-)
Comment from Just2Write
Excellent
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Another strong poem about perseverance and a-t-t-i-t-u-d-e.
Other than your post yesterday, I haven't seen a swap quatrain since September of last year. They look like a lot of fun - but working the rhymes in to fit the swaps would no doubt be a challenge. You make it look easy.
A great poem in Sawyer's voice. He's going to make a great leader one day.

 Comment Written 27-Jun-2014


reply by the author on 27-Jun-2014
    Rose, thank you so much :-) Brooke
Comment from dennis0530
Excellent
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Written undoubtedly with the theme of self-reliance and initiative.

The mood is light and this piece sends the message that when confronted with a situation where the result is not satisfactory, other options should be considered.

Me, when I can't make the shot, I examine the ball - it might be damaged pt not well rounded.

 Comment Written 27-Jun-2014


reply by the author on 27-Jun-2014
    Dennis, thanks so much :-) Brooke
Comment from Lastamen
Excellent
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An exceptional outpouring of the boundless well of hope and aspiration. This is a wondrous journey that you have conceived of expectation and resiliency. Would to God that all could know such hope and faith. Well done.

Till the last amen

 Comment Written 27-Jun-2014


reply by the author on 27-Jun-2014
    Lastamen, thank you so much :-) Brooke
Comment from Rummy500
Excellent
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Just signed up and I'm rummy 500 named after a game I like to play
this was a very giood poem I'd like to say
I will be giving you
5 stars on my first day!

 Comment Written 27-Jun-2014


reply by the author on 27-Jun-2014
    Thanks so much, Rummy, and welcome to Fan Story!! :-) Brooke
reply by Rummy500 on 03-Jul-2014
    thanks for thenwelcome
Comment from Pili Pubul
Excellent
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I love your super positive poem on perseverance , it seems that Sawyer has no problem with that for sure. But what a treasure you are creating
with this children wonderful poems. A pleasure to read.. Pili

 Comment Written 27-Jun-2014


reply by the author on 27-Jun-2014
    Pili, thank you so much :-) Brooke
reply by Pili Pubul on 27-Jun-2014
    You are welcome. Pili