Pantoum Collection
Viewing comments for Chapter 5 "Farewell"Poems written using the pantoum form
79 total reviews
Comment from madhatter1977
Hey, tfawcus! I thought this was a beautiful poem and very delightful use of the combined forms. Very well done and I wish you luck for the contest, Pete :)
reply by the author on 19-May-2014
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Hey, tfawcus! I thought this was a beautiful poem and very delightful use of the combined forms. Very well done and I wish you luck for the contest, Pete :)
Comment Written 17-May-2014
reply by the author on 19-May-2014
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Thank you so much for your generous review, Pete, and for the good luck wishes and six stars!
Comment from JB Lynn
I really like the image of the stars being reflected in the sea. Am I right to guess that the narrator of this poem is speaking to a loved one who has passed on? Nice metaphor of the stars riding the swell of the waves, as we must ride the swells of life. It worked beautifully. Thank you for sharing.
reply by the author on 19-May-2014
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I really like the image of the stars being reflected in the sea. Am I right to guess that the narrator of this poem is speaking to a loved one who has passed on? Nice metaphor of the stars riding the swell of the waves, as we must ride the swells of life. It worked beautifully. Thank you for sharing.
Comment Written 17-May-2014
reply by the author on 19-May-2014
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Many thanks, JBL, for taking the time to review. Much appreciated, as are your kind comments! The poem is not based on any particular life experience, though you are right, it does suggest the passing of a loved one.
Comment from nancyjam
Beautiful lines intertwined to present a smooth
flow.
This is a poignant Pantoum Sonnet that touches the
heart of the reader.
excellent rhyme and meter and wonderful imagery.
I love "sea-glass stars"
I know this will do well in the contest. Nancy
reply by the author on 19-May-2014
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Beautiful lines intertwined to present a smooth
flow.
This is a poignant Pantoum Sonnet that touches the
heart of the reader.
excellent rhyme and meter and wonderful imagery.
I love "sea-glass stars"
I know this will do well in the contest. Nancy
Comment Written 17-May-2014
reply by the author on 19-May-2014
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Many thanks, Nancy, for taking the time to review. Much appreciated, as are your kind comments!
Comment from Kenneth Schaal
I like it Tony; it appeals to the romantic in me. You did a terrific job filling the form. The 'blue hour' and the 'seaglass' images caught my attention. Best of luck . Kenny
reply by the author on 19-May-2014
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I like it Tony; it appeals to the romantic in me. You did a terrific job filling the form. The 'blue hour' and the 'seaglass' images caught my attention. Best of luck . Kenny
Comment Written 17-May-2014
reply by the author on 19-May-2014
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Many thanks, Kenny, for taking the time to review. Much appreciated, as are your kind comments!
Comment from ArtGal
What a wonderful poetry form that I have seldom read before. It doesn't appear easy to write, though you did a great job with it. I love every stanza, but especially in the third:
That span the open lonliness of space
As we must surely do, my love and I,
Until at length we can again embrace.
How sad to have to be apart, but knowing soon again you'll be together once more. Just so lovely, and the picture is just perfect for this. I see a winner here, and wish you the best of luck. . .Sharon
reply by the author on 19-May-2014
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What a wonderful poetry form that I have seldom read before. It doesn't appear easy to write, though you did a great job with it. I love every stanza, but especially in the third:
That span the open lonliness of space
As we must surely do, my love and I,
Until at length we can again embrace.
How sad to have to be apart, but knowing soon again you'll be together once more. Just so lovely, and the picture is just perfect for this. I see a winner here, and wish you the best of luck. . .Sharon
Comment Written 17-May-2014
reply by the author on 19-May-2014
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Many thanks, Sharon, for taking the time to review. Much appreciated, as are your kind comments!
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You're so very welcome!
Comment from royowen
A beautifully written sonnet Tony, that combines the wonders of the universe with love, I was musing about the writings, what would we do without the sun, moon, stars + creation at large for metaphors! This is well written, with the ababcc rhyme scheme to assist the even meter! Blessings, Roy.
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reply by the author on 19-May-2014
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A beautifully written sonnet Tony, that combines the wonders of the universe with love, I was musing about the writings, what would we do without the sun, moon, stars + creation at large for metaphors! This is well written, with the ababcc rhyme scheme to assist the even meter! Blessings, Roy.
.
Comment Written 17-May-2014
reply by the author on 19-May-2014
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Many thanks, Roy, for taking the time to review. Much appreciated, as are your kind comments!
Comment from w.j.debi
This is a smooth and sensitive pantoum sonnet. You follow the rules with a touching expression of lost love and the longing to be together again. The final couplet is full of hope. Best of luck in the contest.
reply by the author on 19-May-2014
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This is a smooth and sensitive pantoum sonnet. You follow the rules with a touching expression of lost love and the longing to be together again. The final couplet is full of hope. Best of luck in the contest.
Comment Written 17-May-2014
reply by the author on 19-May-2014
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Many thanks, wjb, for taking the time to review. Much appreciated, as are your kind comments!
Comment from leslief1952
Vivid imagery. Great use of language. I love the way you describe the stars as "dancing," "shuddering," "rising." The reflection in the water presents a beautiful image also. Thanks for sharing this poem.
reply by the author on 19-May-2014
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Vivid imagery. Great use of language. I love the way you describe the stars as "dancing," "shuddering," "rising." The reflection in the water presents a beautiful image also. Thanks for sharing this poem.
Comment Written 17-May-2014
reply by the author on 19-May-2014
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Many thanks, Leslief, for taking the time to review. Much appreciated, as are your kind comments and your generous award of six stars!
Comment from Leonardo Wild
Hi tfawcus,
A very nice poem, indeed, and I found no faults or errors or spags or whatever you call them.
A good image of the sea and the stars, with a certain sense of "good old days" poetry because of"
"As we must surely do; my love and I."
It can also be simply that, having been a sailor myself, I have a weak spot for these kind of swell-riding stars.
reply by the author on 19-May-2014
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Hi tfawcus,
A very nice poem, indeed, and I found no faults or errors or spags or whatever you call them.
A good image of the sea and the stars, with a certain sense of "good old days" poetry because of"
"As we must surely do; my love and I."
It can also be simply that, having been a sailor myself, I have a weak spot for these kind of swell-riding stars.
Comment Written 17-May-2014
reply by the author on 19-May-2014
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Many thanks, Leonardo, for taking the time to review. Much appreciated, as are your comments and your generous award of six stars! Praise from a sailor is praise indeed!
Comment from closetpoetjester
Well this was a lengthy embrace if only for the 14 lines of choice and cleverly placed repetition, Tony.
Loved the "sea glass" line and the way you reflected what was above and below so eloquently. Great job and good luck in the booth.
Cheers P
reply by the author on 19-May-2014
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Well this was a lengthy embrace if only for the 14 lines of choice and cleverly placed repetition, Tony.
Loved the "sea glass" line and the way you reflected what was above and below so eloquently. Great job and good luck in the booth.
Cheers P
Comment Written 17-May-2014
reply by the author on 19-May-2014
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Many thanks, P, for taking the time to review. Much appreciated, as are your lovely comments.