Steve's Story-Poems
Viewing comments for Chapter 35 "Redemption"A collection of my poems
97 total reviews
Comment from handmadecards
Wow, such a good story, told so evocatively in this ABAB poem. Balanced stanzas with complementing syllables. Excellent presentation, making it a pleasure to read. Publishable writing, well done!
reply by the author on 11-Nov-2013
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Wow, such a good story, told so evocatively in this ABAB poem. Balanced stanzas with complementing syllables. Excellent presentation, making it a pleasure to read. Publishable writing, well done!
Comment Written 08-Nov-2013
reply by the author on 11-Nov-2013
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Thanks for the kind words.
Steve
Comment from tbacha58
Then the stranger came to hold me;
Now his face glowed like the sun.
Oh so gently then he told me,
"Welcome home again, my son."
What an amazing story poem. Unfortunately we all go though in our lives with a lot of misfortunes, sorrow, death, ugliness, and the opposite, I feel , that what is meant to be will be , no matter what. Very deep lines, very nice poem. Hugs Terry
reply by the author on 11-Nov-2013
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Then the stranger came to hold me;
Now his face glowed like the sun.
Oh so gently then he told me,
"Welcome home again, my son."
What an amazing story poem. Unfortunately we all go though in our lives with a lot of misfortunes, sorrow, death, ugliness, and the opposite, I feel , that what is meant to be will be , no matter what. Very deep lines, very nice poem. Hugs Terry
Comment Written 08-Nov-2013
reply by the author on 11-Nov-2013
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Terry, thanks for the generous review.
Steve
Comment from reconciled
This is bright light brilliant...-smile- ....I like that Jesus seemed as enemy at first............sometimes things happen in a bodies life....that ahh is not understandable....even unforgivable and though we may not voice it...we deeply blame Him....trust severed....looked upon with cautious eyes ....to find in last time....that Whom you needed, wanted, Who's love was coveted......did. Would certainly take away the sting.-smile- Alright great read Love Michael
reply by the author on 11-Nov-2013
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This is bright light brilliant...-smile- ....I like that Jesus seemed as enemy at first............sometimes things happen in a bodies life....that ahh is not understandable....even unforgivable and though we may not voice it...we deeply blame Him....trust severed....looked upon with cautious eyes ....to find in last time....that Whom you needed, wanted, Who's love was coveted......did. Would certainly take away the sting.-smile- Alright great read Love Michael
Comment Written 08-Nov-2013
reply by the author on 11-Nov-2013
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Thanks, Michael
Not everyone got that the negative impression at first came from the narrator's character rather than an objective view.
Steve
Comment from marycec
Very atmospheric with the tension building up.A sense of menace with cloak of danger and the predatory bird.you handled the fear and guilt of this man in a personification of ugliness that is really his own self. All this and keeping to the ABAB format. A good contender I think.
reply by the author on 11-Nov-2013
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Very atmospheric with the tension building up.A sense of menace with cloak of danger and the predatory bird.you handled the fear and guilt of this man in a personification of ugliness that is really his own self. All this and keeping to the ABAB format. A good contender I think.
Comment Written 08-Nov-2013
reply by the author on 11-Nov-2013
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Mary, thanks for the thoughtful reading of my poem and the kind words.
Steve
Comment from SteveY
Absolutely perfect in every way possible for this one to be. Great story told that completely captivates the reader and pulls them right inside. Wonderful job.
reply by the author on 11-Nov-2013
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Absolutely perfect in every way possible for this one to be. Great story told that completely captivates the reader and pulls them right inside. Wonderful job.
Comment Written 08-Nov-2013
reply by the author on 11-Nov-2013
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Can't get much better than perfect - let's hope the judges agree!
Steve
Comment from adewpearl
solid use of abab rhyming
excellent touches of alliteration
I love the cloaked stranger's description - great simile
excellent use of enjambment to keep the story flowing from line to line
vivid, mood-creating description of setting
What a tale of intrigue, guilt, divine retribution and in the end, redemption. I hope lots of people still have a sixth star left this late in the week because you deserve them :-) Brooke
reply by the author on 11-Nov-2013
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solid use of abab rhyming
excellent touches of alliteration
I love the cloaked stranger's description - great simile
excellent use of enjambment to keep the story flowing from line to line
vivid, mood-creating description of setting
What a tale of intrigue, guilt, divine retribution and in the end, redemption. I hope lots of people still have a sixth star left this late in the week because you deserve them :-) Brooke
Comment Written 08-Nov-2013
reply by the author on 11-Nov-2013
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Brooke, thanks for the review and the virtual six - I always seem to be posting near the end of the week - and now the site meltdown has gobbled many of the six star reviews I did get....
C'est la vie.
Steve
Comment from Callyope
WOW! What a twist! I certainly wasn't expecting the double turn of events... What a great poem/tale with effortless flow and easy, unforced rhymes...
You really do make this look easy, my friend. Which must make you an expert! Because only an expert could have taken this difficult task of perfect poetry and make it appear as though it was done with ease... I love reading your writes... Unlike others, you produce gem after gem after gem. I've ran into poems that thoroughly blew my mind and prompted me to check out the ol' portfolio to find that the poem I thought was so incredible was just a fluke. This is NOT true for you, my dear... It'd be a fluke to find below-par poetry in yours! You truly are a genuine artist, love!!!
reply by the author on 11-Nov-2013
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WOW! What a twist! I certainly wasn't expecting the double turn of events... What a great poem/tale with effortless flow and easy, unforced rhymes...
You really do make this look easy, my friend. Which must make you an expert! Because only an expert could have taken this difficult task of perfect poetry and make it appear as though it was done with ease... I love reading your writes... Unlike others, you produce gem after gem after gem. I've ran into poems that thoroughly blew my mind and prompted me to check out the ol' portfolio to find that the poem I thought was so incredible was just a fluke. This is NOT true for you, my dear... It'd be a fluke to find below-par poetry in yours! You truly are a genuine artist, love!!!
Comment Written 08-Nov-2013
reply by the author on 11-Nov-2013
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Well now I'm blushing - I know there are actually a few stinkers in my portfolio so it seems you haven't stumbled across those ones yet!
As for effort - my humorous pieces usually flow out like a free-running stream and require little editing. Poems like this one I treat more seriously, occasionally killing them in the process! Yes, this one took a while and a certain amount of polishing, especially since I had no idea where I was going to end up or who the mysterious stranger might be, when I started...
Thanks for the generous praise and the six stars.
Steve
PS If you adopted your name from one of the muses, why did you change the spelling? And are you a Ka-Lie-A-Pea or a Kell-ee-ope?
Comment from nancyjam
Fantastic story poem, Steve,, told
with strong rhyme and meter. and vivid
images.
The theme of sin, guilt and redemption
enhanced by terrific metaphor and imagery.
Great job and well worth a six. I thoroughly
enjoyed it. Nancy
reply by the author on 11-Nov-2013
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Fantastic story poem, Steve,, told
with strong rhyme and meter. and vivid
images.
The theme of sin, guilt and redemption
enhanced by terrific metaphor and imagery.
Great job and well worth a six. I thoroughly
enjoyed it. Nancy
Comment Written 08-Nov-2013
reply by the author on 11-Nov-2013
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Thanks, Nancy
Like many of my story poems I started with no idea of where I was going and this is where it took me!
Steve
Comment from strandregs
You cease to amaze me with and give great pleasure with your ingenious poem stories .I only wish I didnt miss those author withheld ones. Boo hoo.
Jolly wonderful effort.Z.
reply by the author on 11-Nov-2013
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You cease to amaze me with and give great pleasure with your ingenious poem stories .I only wish I didnt miss those author withheld ones. Boo hoo.
Jolly wonderful effort.Z.
Comment Written 08-Nov-2013
reply by the author on 11-Nov-2013
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Thanks, Zelick.
Do you mean the blind contest ones? I haven't been entering many of those recently. I guess your only solution is to check out my profile occasionally....
Steve
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Blimey another task to remember :)
Comment from emrpoems
Quatrains with ABAB rhymes
Alliterations:campfire came, mystery man, deep and dark,
sullen spark, dark wolf, death, Compellingly paired picture and poem.
Good luck in the contest
reply by the author on 11-Nov-2013
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Quatrains with ABAB rhymes
Alliterations:campfire came, mystery man, deep and dark,
sullen spark, dark wolf, death, Compellingly paired picture and poem.
Good luck in the contest
Comment Written 08-Nov-2013
reply by the author on 11-Nov-2013
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Thank you!
Steve