All Those Puzzling Pieces
Viewing comments for Chapter 30 "Sticky-notes"What makes a life? How do the pieces fit?
146 total reviews
Comment from RPSaxena
Hello Sharyn,
Sticky-notes! It's a wonderful piece of Romance Poetry picturizing a broken heart which having fully enjoyed its true love now feels irrecoverable vacuum and hates the 'so called LOVE word'. "Love? Blissful kisses? Boos and hisses, I say."
As a result, the poet takes high flight of imagination, but soon comes down and boldly faces the reality of life. "But that would be a mere distraction from the fact..." and then onward is depicted very beautifully 'the scenes of life THEN and NOW!' "....Usually, just sticky-notes on the wall,......as sticky-notes confetti to the floor/in silent/ slow/motion...."
Marvelous and deserves Six Stars! Best of Luck!
reply by the author on 17-Jun-2013
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Hello Sharyn,
Sticky-notes! It's a wonderful piece of Romance Poetry picturizing a broken heart which having fully enjoyed its true love now feels irrecoverable vacuum and hates the 'so called LOVE word'. "Love? Blissful kisses? Boos and hisses, I say."
As a result, the poet takes high flight of imagination, but soon comes down and boldly faces the reality of life. "But that would be a mere distraction from the fact..." and then onward is depicted very beautifully 'the scenes of life THEN and NOW!' "....Usually, just sticky-notes on the wall,......as sticky-notes confetti to the floor/in silent/ slow/motion...."
Marvelous and deserves Six Stars! Best of Luck!
Comment Written 17-Jun-2013
reply by the author on 17-Jun-2013
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Bless you RP! as always, my dear!
:)Sharyn
Comment from Nuad1
I liked this poem. LOVE sure can prompt a cache of emotions and your words touched on several (sons, home); then the LOSS of love . . this is WHY I love poetry: it allows the writer to vent, the reader to feel "not so alone". Good job on this work.
reply by the author on 17-Jun-2013
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I liked this poem. LOVE sure can prompt a cache of emotions and your words touched on several (sons, home); then the LOSS of love . . this is WHY I love poetry: it allows the writer to vent, the reader to feel "not so alone". Good job on this work.
Comment Written 17-Jun-2013
reply by the author on 17-Jun-2013
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It surely can, hmm? And yes, poetry is like good therapy (and way, way cheaper, yes?)
Blessings,
Sharyn
Comment from dragonpoet
Very sad poem about lost love by breakup or death. Sounds like a strong love. A person loved for his good and bad habits.
You have some strong images of piled up dishes and a horrible filing system. You also have some alliteration.
The ending is gives a visual of the post-its snowing down.
Hope those heartless walls become full and colorful again.
Good luck and keep writing
Joan
reply by the author on 17-Jun-2013
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Very sad poem about lost love by breakup or death. Sounds like a strong love. A person loved for his good and bad habits.
You have some strong images of piled up dishes and a horrible filing system. You also have some alliteration.
The ending is gives a visual of the post-its snowing down.
Hope those heartless walls become full and colorful again.
Good luck and keep writing
Joan
Comment Written 17-Jun-2013
reply by the author on 17-Jun-2013
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Bless you Joan - thank you so much!
:)Sharyn
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You are so very welcome, Sharyn.
Bless you too.
Joan
Comment from kiwisteveh
You reckon you might get extra points for getting your entry in early? Don't think you're going to need them somehow - this is seriously good - exploring love by examining its absence.
Remarkable progression from the distracting disclaimer of the first stanza which throws the reader off, through the mention of other kinds of love to your real point in the last 2-3 stanzas.
Your usual brilliant manipulation of language is used to good effect here, rhyme, alliteration, assonance dance about in luxurious effusion - far too many examples to mention.
Then the format change to echo the sticky note confetti and that final sneaky little wordplay on heartless.
best thing I've seen you do, I think. Now you just have to wait five months to see if the committee agrees.
Steve
reply by the author on 17-Jun-2013
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You reckon you might get extra points for getting your entry in early? Don't think you're going to need them somehow - this is seriously good - exploring love by examining its absence.
Remarkable progression from the distracting disclaimer of the first stanza which throws the reader off, through the mention of other kinds of love to your real point in the last 2-3 stanzas.
Your usual brilliant manipulation of language is used to good effect here, rhyme, alliteration, assonance dance about in luxurious effusion - far too many examples to mention.
Then the format change to echo the sticky note confetti and that final sneaky little wordplay on heartless.
best thing I've seen you do, I think. Now you just have to wait five months to see if the committee agrees.
Steve
Comment Written 17-Jun-2013
reply by the author on 17-Jun-2013
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Well thank you Steve - high praise from the Master himself! And you just KNOW the winner of this competition will be something soggy with rainbows and roses, right? I am reveling in your wonderful praise here - the best, really?? OKAY! I'll take it!
thank you so very, very much!
hugs
Sharyn
Comment from Jumbo J
Hi Sharyn,
love? Blissful kisses? Boos and hisses you say? You've always got your angle ... You are a cleaver lady. You drag us in with dialog to include all that reads, how could you not? Then you slide in a bit of slighted romanticism with nature again cleaver lady ... Now I'm all warm and fuzzy you take me on a trip of reflection. Just a magic write. This contest deserves something special and slightly of kilter ... Oh yeah I said it ... A slighted love poem with a twist and a pike ... Tens across the board!!! Best of luck to you in this contest!
Kindest thoughts,
James xx
reply by the author on 17-Jun-2013
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Hi Sharyn,
love? Blissful kisses? Boos and hisses you say? You've always got your angle ... You are a cleaver lady. You drag us in with dialog to include all that reads, how could you not? Then you slide in a bit of slighted romanticism with nature again cleaver lady ... Now I'm all warm and fuzzy you take me on a trip of reflection. Just a magic write. This contest deserves something special and slightly of kilter ... Oh yeah I said it ... A slighted love poem with a twist and a pike ... Tens across the board!!! Best of luck to you in this contest!
Kindest thoughts,
James xx
Comment Written 17-Jun-2013
reply by the author on 17-Jun-2013
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I always love 'off kilter' dear James - thank you so much for noticing! And thank you also big heaps for your lovely sixer on this one dear - so much appreciated!
:)Sharyn
Comment from Auroraboreal800
This is a lovely piece in the category of Romance Poetry. The structure is so beautiful as it's the written as well. However, I have a question: In this age of technology do people still use sticky notes?
NICELY DONE!!
:)
reply by the author on 17-Jun-2013
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This is a lovely piece in the category of Romance Poetry. The structure is so beautiful as it's the written as well. However, I have a question: In this age of technology do people still use sticky notes?
NICELY DONE!!
:)
Comment Written 17-Jun-2013
reply by the author on 17-Jun-2013
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No question about it I'm afraid - I can fully testify to this fact! (If I have something SOOO important I don't want to forget it, the sticky-note actually goes on my computer screen!)
:)))Sharyn
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Ha ha ha!! I got it!
:)
Comment from CR Delport
In this age of technology do people still use sticky notes? Used them a lot before there was computers. This is a well written poem filled with emotion.
reply by the author on 17-Jun-2013
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In this age of technology do people still use sticky notes? Used them a lot before there was computers. This is a well written poem filled with emotion.
Comment Written 17-Jun-2013
reply by the author on 17-Jun-2013
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The smart ones do, dear, because computers die with all your wisdom and reminders INSIDE THE BLOODY THINGS!
:)))S
Comment from duchessofdrumborg
'Sticky-notes' is an extremely well-written and thought-provoking piece. This talented poet like so many of us, has traded a mess for loveless perfection. Far better to barter than stare at bare, creamy heartless walls. This poem was a pleasure to both read and review.
reply by the author on 17-Jun-2013
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'Sticky-notes' is an extremely well-written and thought-provoking piece. This talented poet like so many of us, has traded a mess for loveless perfection. Far better to barter than stare at bare, creamy heartless walls. This poem was a pleasure to both read and review.
Comment Written 17-Jun-2013
reply by the author on 17-Jun-2013
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Thanks so much DD! :)Sharyn
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Sharyn, you're more than welcome.
the Duchess (:*:)
Comment from DR DIP
hmmm interesting free verse always intrigues me. I usually find it laborious and hard work where you really have to concentrate. But not with yours..I really enjoyed it!!
it has sentiments of a woman scorned! I could imagine it would be a poem that Alanis morissette would write haha..looking forward to more of your writing visionary!
in the mean time I'll keep my distance from the kitchen haha
xxdip
reply by the author on 17-Jun-2013
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hmmm interesting free verse always intrigues me. I usually find it laborious and hard work where you really have to concentrate. But not with yours..I really enjoyed it!!
it has sentiments of a woman scorned! I could imagine it would be a poem that Alanis morissette would write haha..looking forward to more of your writing visionary!
in the mean time I'll keep my distance from the kitchen haha
xxdip
Comment Written 17-Jun-2013
reply by the author on 17-Jun-2013
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I always try to write free verse that makes sense Dr. D - so one thread of thought/ sense running thru the whole thing. So I'm glad you came along for the ride, dear! Glad, also, you're staying out of my damned kitchen! :)))Sharyn
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haha
Comment from Mrs Jones
Well, this is what I call poetry. Kudos to you for writing this fabulous piece that echoes in my heart. I sincerely think the competition win is yours.
Cheers
Rose
reply by the author on 17-Jun-2013
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Well, this is what I call poetry. Kudos to you for writing this fabulous piece that echoes in my heart. I sincerely think the competition win is yours.
Cheers
Rose
Comment Written 17-Jun-2013
reply by the author on 17-Jun-2013
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oh Rose that is so very, very sweet of you my dear. Blessings for your lovely response and for your magic sixer!
big hugs,
Sharyn