All Those Puzzling Pieces
Viewing comments for Chapter 27 "Pineapple Paradise?"What makes a life? How do the pieces fit?
75 total reviews
Comment from Dawn Munro
Yowza, could you make that a little more complicated please? My brain isn't spinning enough. (LOL) What a poem, my friend! It's too late at night for me to concentrate that much (it's 6:00 a.m. and guess who hasn't been to bed yet) I have a love/hate relationship with this work and mostly because while I love pineapple (even though it's a pain in the neck to prepare the fresh ones) I hate the thought of whales who are nurturing babies are bleeding from sonar! I'm also particularily offended by racism. So you see why I say my relationship with your poem is so love/hate - you know me, you know the love part would be a lot more than mere pineapple enjoyment (LOL) - your comparisons are stunning, the emotion you evoke plus the imagery equals 'stellar'. God, I sure hope you get off that Red Bull! (LOL) This was a total work-out!
reply by the author on 12-Nov-2012
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Yowza, could you make that a little more complicated please? My brain isn't spinning enough. (LOL) What a poem, my friend! It's too late at night for me to concentrate that much (it's 6:00 a.m. and guess who hasn't been to bed yet) I have a love/hate relationship with this work and mostly because while I love pineapple (even though it's a pain in the neck to prepare the fresh ones) I hate the thought of whales who are nurturing babies are bleeding from sonar! I'm also particularily offended by racism. So you see why I say my relationship with your poem is so love/hate - you know me, you know the love part would be a lot more than mere pineapple enjoyment (LOL) - your comparisons are stunning, the emotion you evoke plus the imagery equals 'stellar'. God, I sure hope you get off that Red Bull! (LOL) This was a total work-out!
Comment Written 12-Nov-2012
reply by the author on 12-Nov-2012
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6am!!! CRAZY LADY! You need a pineapple corer - takes all the work out of it - just cut off the top, and screw the corer in, much like opening a wine bottle ... lift slowly out ... and take off your beautiful pineapple circles - presto! think now about whales (Navy has stopped) and drunks/druggies (a dime a dozen anywhere you go it seems - but they congregate in parks here by the ocean - just had to call 911 a couple of days ago because one of them went nuts and attacked someone on the beach - fortunately 3 young guys jumped on him and held him down till cops arrived - but it stayed in my mind for this poem at least). No Red Bull - coffee, coming right up! :)))S
Comment from mystery poet
Thank you for the informative notes on this contest
entry. 'Pineapple Paradise' has all the qualities of
a winner. Great story with strong imagery as your
tale unfolds. Love the positive way you end it. I
also like the poster art, makes me want to bite into
a slice of paradise!
reply by the author on 12-Nov-2012
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Thank you for the informative notes on this contest
entry. 'Pineapple Paradise' has all the qualities of
a winner. Great story with strong imagery as your
tale unfolds. Love the positive way you end it. I
also like the poster art, makes me want to bite into
a slice of paradise!
Comment Written 12-Nov-2012
reply by the author on 12-Nov-2012
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thx mp - interesting prompt this one! :) Sharyn
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Yes, it is a good prompt and best wishes to you!
Comment from alexisleech
This is a perfect example of what often lurks beneath a perfect fa§ade. An oil slick you can see, sonar you can't - which makes it feel all the more 'sneaky' when it's discovered. Your poem is full of light and shade, and is an excellent entry for this contest.
Alexis x
reply by the author on 12-Nov-2012
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This is a perfect example of what often lurks beneath a perfect fa§ade. An oil slick you can see, sonar you can't - which makes it feel all the more 'sneaky' when it's discovered. Your poem is full of light and shade, and is an excellent entry for this contest.
Alexis x
Comment Written 12-Nov-2012
reply by the author on 12-Nov-2012
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thank you for your detailed reading Alexis ... light & shade is what it's all about, including the stuff you DON'T see! :) S
Comment from OLA THOMAS
This is a clean and clear well done work of abstract. You dribbled and meandered well with your choices of words and arrangements too to achieve at this fine one. I specially like your smart drift in:
'So lucky, so nice
for us to grow our own
sugar-sweet Paradise,
but slice the spikes
then cut and dice from dark to light -
and in a flash, we see that
underbelly trash
of Eden -
look and listen!' Good work.
ola thomas
reply by the author on 12-Nov-2012
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This is a clean and clear well done work of abstract. You dribbled and meandered well with your choices of words and arrangements too to achieve at this fine one. I specially like your smart drift in:
'So lucky, so nice
for us to grow our own
sugar-sweet Paradise,
but slice the spikes
then cut and dice from dark to light -
and in a flash, we see that
underbelly trash
of Eden -
look and listen!' Good work.
ola thomas
Comment Written 12-Nov-2012
reply by the author on 12-Nov-2012
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Thank you so much Ola! :) Sharyn
Comment from Hollyhock
Shame I have no six for you! You really did not need to explain this poem, it clearly show the dark which lies below the light where man has tainted paradise. We can restore the beauty of the original if we choose, we do not have to live in a sinful Eden, we can share peacefully "One / Earth / Light"
As usual full of colour, movement and your passion for what you believe. An outstanding "abstraction" which perfectly fits the requirements of the contest, but much more than this, stands alone as a poem with a message for all.
Great write.
reply by the author on 12-Nov-2012
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Shame I have no six for you! You really did not need to explain this poem, it clearly show the dark which lies below the light where man has tainted paradise. We can restore the beauty of the original if we choose, we do not have to live in a sinful Eden, we can share peacefully "One / Earth / Light"
As usual full of colour, movement and your passion for what you believe. An outstanding "abstraction" which perfectly fits the requirements of the contest, but much more than this, stands alone as a poem with a message for all.
Great write.
Comment Written 12-Nov-2012
reply by the author on 12-Nov-2012
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Thank you so much Andrea! it was certainly a strange prompt but I was very interested to see what would come out! :) Sharyn
Comment from poetstar
GLAD I TRADED OILY CITY SMILING FOR BEGUILING WHITE SANDS. IF GOD IS READY TO CLEAN UP OUR STICKY MESS. I really loved this poem and appreciate the ecological value of it, including the sonar that hurts the whales to the underbelly trash of Eden. In so many ways your poem says to save a beautiful paradise.
Thanks for sharing. Vonnie
reply by the author on 12-Nov-2012
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GLAD I TRADED OILY CITY SMILING FOR BEGUILING WHITE SANDS. IF GOD IS READY TO CLEAN UP OUR STICKY MESS. I really loved this poem and appreciate the ecological value of it, including the sonar that hurts the whales to the underbelly trash of Eden. In so many ways your poem says to save a beautiful paradise.
Thanks for sharing. Vonnie
Comment Written 12-Nov-2012
reply by the author on 12-Nov-2012
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Thank you Vonnie for understanding the piece! :) Sharyn
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I understand it, and full agree with it. We need to SAVE OUR PLANET. Vonnie
Comment from Oldsteamer
Paradise doesn't sound too enticing wherever it may be.
Fortunately I'm just passing through to see what I can see.
I've never been called a howlie but there are plenty of other names.
I'm not interested in getting caught up in the locals B.S.games.
I've got some pineapple yogurt and believe ill have me some.
Tonight paradise is a control room. I'm warm and dry and full.
I wish you all the best of luck, for you I'm going to pull.
- R -
reply by the author on 12-Nov-2012
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Paradise doesn't sound too enticing wherever it may be.
Fortunately I'm just passing through to see what I can see.
I've never been called a howlie but there are plenty of other names.
I'm not interested in getting caught up in the locals B.S.games.
I've got some pineapple yogurt and believe ill have me some.
Tonight paradise is a control room. I'm warm and dry and full.
I wish you all the best of luck, for you I'm going to pull.
- R -
Comment Written 12-Nov-2012
reply by the author on 12-Nov-2012
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Oh you're always such a sweetie Reg - this was such a strange prompt and I was very curious to see where my brain would go. Ironically it was prompted by a happening in the beach park a couple of days ago where a druggie attacked a couple on the beach and I had to call 911. Fortunately 3 young guys came to the rescue and jumped on him, holding him down till the cops came (a leisurely 15 mins later), but as I sat in the sunshine it certainly reinforced the message that all was not as it looked.
Blessings,
Sharyn
Comment from misscookie
Wow!
this is a very deep and enmotional poem
There is a strong message within this write.
That everyone who reads this should see.
You had my attention from the first line to the last.
Thank you for sharinbg.
reply by the author on 12-Nov-2012
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Wow!
this is a very deep and enmotional poem
There is a strong message within this write.
That everyone who reads this should see.
You had my attention from the first line to the last.
Thank you for sharinbg.
Comment Written 12-Nov-2012
reply by the author on 12-Nov-2012
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thank you misscookie! :) Sharyn
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Your very welcome.
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Your very welcome.
Comment from Frank Atwood
Truly some peoples love for animals exude that of their fellow human's, yet they have not learned to forgive and their faith rides on trying to save a dying world, where evil strives and is rewarded.
Until mankind learns that this world is hell, and the nature of things upon it, is touched by a God who sees not the physical world we live in, but only souls and spirits of all things, who are naturally drawn to him and his truth he shares freely to all who seek him and only him.
Truth is few find him as they are two busy saving a world created by Satan, or they follow men and their false idols they worship and bow down to as they are rewarded with worldly gifts.
The true gift of a true God is truth, forgiveness and undersanding of a Father few know. A Father who's truths help one overcome this world and thus not worry about anything witin it, yet sorrow over all human's who's souls are lost, Whether rich or poor, and who upon death, shall return back here, many times over until this world destroy's itself, for thusly my Father has many worlds, and as one is destroyed another shall appear, as he continues his work of perpetuating the immortality of man.
Quite different, but very good. I had to share my peace with you. Keep writing. God bless.
reply by the author on 12-Nov-2012
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Truly some peoples love for animals exude that of their fellow human's, yet they have not learned to forgive and their faith rides on trying to save a dying world, where evil strives and is rewarded.
Until mankind learns that this world is hell, and the nature of things upon it, is touched by a God who sees not the physical world we live in, but only souls and spirits of all things, who are naturally drawn to him and his truth he shares freely to all who seek him and only him.
Truth is few find him as they are two busy saving a world created by Satan, or they follow men and their false idols they worship and bow down to as they are rewarded with worldly gifts.
The true gift of a true God is truth, forgiveness and undersanding of a Father few know. A Father who's truths help one overcome this world and thus not worry about anything witin it, yet sorrow over all human's who's souls are lost, Whether rich or poor, and who upon death, shall return back here, many times over until this world destroy's itself, for thusly my Father has many worlds, and as one is destroyed another shall appear, as he continues his work of perpetuating the immortality of man.
Quite different, but very good. I had to share my peace with you. Keep writing. God bless.
Comment Written 12-Nov-2012
reply by the author on 12-Nov-2012
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Thank you Frank! :) Sharyn
Comment from sweetwoodjax
this is very well written, visionary, you did an excellent job writing this abstract poem about the poster and the thoughts of the experiments, i enjoyed reading it, excellent imagery, i wish you the best of luck in the contest
reply by the author on 12-Nov-2012
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this is very well written, visionary, you did an excellent job writing this abstract poem about the poster and the thoughts of the experiments, i enjoyed reading it, excellent imagery, i wish you the best of luck in the contest
Comment Written 12-Nov-2012
reply by the author on 12-Nov-2012
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thx sweets! :) Sharyn