Reviews from

All Those Puzzling Pieces

Viewing comments for Chapter 51 "We'll Take Two!"
What makes a life? How do the pieces fit?

78 total reviews 
Comment from venika
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A well-written Quatern for the contest. It has a good flow and I like the colors as well, especially the color. Thanks for sharing.

 Comment Written 02-Sep-2012

reply by the author on 02-Sep-2012
    thx Venika!
Comment from Sandra Stoner-Mitchell
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This perfectly complies with the contest rules, and is a wonderful poem. One summer's gone, so we'll take two! What a great repeating line that is! Good luck in the contest,with this well written summer quatern! xsx

 Comment Written 02-Sep-2012

reply by the author on 02-Sep-2012
    thx Sandy!
Comment from Quire's Gal
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Hi Poet,

I'd love to take two, or three, or even four! Very creative opening line that flows really well and doesn't sound forced which seems to be the challenge of this form.

I particularly like...

Now let's fly south, out-run the sun,
To swim all year in turquoise blue,

Best wishes in the contest and I hope you enjoyed writing for it.

Katherine

 Comment Written 02-Sep-2012

reply by the author on 02-Sep-2012
    thx Katherine ... it is rather a challenging form, but I just had to try it - appreciate your review my dear! :) Sharyn
Comment from juliedickson55
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Very nice, a good use of the form of quatern and a lovely beach image to go with it.


I actually love autumn, so it's not until that ends that I really dread winter...

Good luck in the contest and with your writing.


 Comment Written 02-Sep-2012

reply by the author on 02-Sep-2012
    thx Julie!
Comment from poesyapprentice
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A pleasant cheerful piece of work. The ending was really cute. Long days keep love from growing old was the only line that stood out to me as being off a bit. It flowed well, of course, but what of the meaning? I'm not catching the relationship of the first to the last of the line, how so? Good work, and enjoyable read. Blessings!

 Comment Written 02-Sep-2012

reply by the author on 02-Sep-2012
    thx poesy - I changed that line specically for you as I'd been thinking about it for a while ... :)
Comment from sunnilicious
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Enjoyable poem. Nice repeating line. I wish summer were longer too. Good form of 8-syllables per line. You seem to get too upbeat on the last verse. It completely changed the poetic tone. But hey, vacation is all a lot of us ever wanted. Nice work!

Good luck in the contest.

 Comment Written 02-Sep-2012

reply by the author on 02-Sep-2012
    hey sunni - aren't I allowed to be upbeat in the last verse? I thought that was the whole point of this one ... ??? :))))
reply by sunnilicious on 02-Sep-2012
    i dunno, but quatren is french. so monotone is in... really, the emotional pace seems jarred instead of a smooth slide from 3 into 4. still, i liked it. u're welcome for the review.
reply by the author on 02-Sep-2012
    no biggie dear - just curious!
Comment from Meta~Mark
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Let's Take Two! is a vision of an excellent Summer Quatern writing prompt..seems like the font color and size has led me to this summer prize.. :) awesome possum!

 Comment Written 02-Sep-2012

reply by the author on 02-Sep-2012
    thx MM! :)
Comment from dmt1967
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I like this poem I live in England so our summer lasts for two weeks lol so yes we want more and no it is not selfish thank you for sharing and good luck in the contest

 Comment Written 01-Sep-2012

reply by the author on 01-Sep-2012
    thx dmt!
Comment from Tina McKala
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This was just great, I loved it and I am sure that the winter does not come in cases like this one ;) Beautiful repetition and form, it flew very smoothly and it made me smile as I was reading. Great! Tina

 Comment Written 01-Sep-2012

reply by the author on 01-Sep-2012
    thx Tina!
Comment from adewpearl
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Excellent alternate-line rhyming
I like your repeating/descending line and the alliteration in take two
I also like your use of the opening question to engage the reader
good assonance in please/agreed
nice alliteration in summer stays
and in south in search of sunb
You incorporate the repeating line well into each stanza in this excellent summer quatern :-) Brooke

 Comment Written 01-Sep-2012

reply by the author on 01-Sep-2012
    thx Brooke!