Steve's Story-Poems
Viewing comments for Chapter 15 "Lafferty's Last Ride"A collection of my poems
85 total reviews
Comment from Tonulak
As a history buff myself and a lover of the Flashman books, I enjoyed your epic emensely. Wondering how you were going to get out of all this, I liked the device of Lafferty's madness. I especially loved the line, by the night sky's vastness taunted/ by the silent sand dunes mocked", and there were many other fine poetic flourishs. Great job.
reply by the author on 04-Nov-2011
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As a history buff myself and a lover of the Flashman books, I enjoyed your epic emensely. Wondering how you were going to get out of all this, I liked the device of Lafferty's madness. I especially loved the line, by the night sky's vastness taunted/ by the silent sand dunes mocked", and there were many other fine poetic flourishs. Great job.
Comment Written 04-Nov-2011
reply by the author on 04-Nov-2011
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Thank you!
I was sad to read that Fraser has died, so no more Flashman. It is a long time since I read them, and I had forgotten until I looked him up that he was involved in these same campaigns (although the mention of being with Gordon at Khartoum is only a passing reference, so he never had to solve the problem of how Flashman escaped....)
It is funny you picked that line for special mention. I sat here last night, putting the final touches to the story and thought, "OMG one stanza is two lines short!" Guess which couplet I 'created' to fill the gap?!
Thanks again for your kind review.
Steve
Comment from sweetwoodjax
this is very well written, kiwi, a great job writing this poetic story about lafferty, i enjoyed reading it but it got a little long for me. i started losing my attention about 75 percent through it and had to re=read. my favorite part was where he found in love with his arab wife and how he grieved at her death
reply by the author on 04-Nov-2011
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this is very well written, kiwi, a great job writing this poetic story about lafferty, i enjoyed reading it but it got a little long for me. i started losing my attention about 75 percent through it and had to re=read. my favorite part was where he found in love with his arab wife and how he grieved at her death
Comment Written 04-Nov-2011
reply by the author on 04-Nov-2011
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Thank you for persevering - I know this is not for everyone - just hoping that the story draws people in enough to keep them reading...
Comment from Yvon
Yes there were times when the British ruled much of the world to glorify it is something else. I liked the story but disagree with the content.
reply by the author on 04-Nov-2011
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Yes there were times when the British ruled much of the world to glorify it is something else. I liked the story but disagree with the content.
Comment Written 04-Nov-2011
reply by the author on 04-Nov-2011
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Thanks for reviewing.
I have tried to glorify personal bravery but not the madness of colonialism - quite the opposite in fact. You will find places in the poem where British attitudes are criticised or held up to ridicule...
Steve
Comment from Scarlettdreams
This really should be under short story in poetic form. This is a book.. not a poem. LOL Nice rhyme and meter here and the flow was awesome. Great story telling. Bravo
reply by the author on 04-Nov-2011
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This really should be under short story in poetic form. This is a book.. not a poem. LOL Nice rhyme and meter here and the flow was awesome. Great story telling. Bravo
Comment Written 04-Nov-2011
reply by the author on 04-Nov-2011
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Thanks for tackling the 'book'!
Imagine how I feel, finally getting it posted.
Steve
Comment from N.K. Wagner
Steve, I enjoyed this bit of fiddled-with history very much. Here and there I had to adjust my American pronunciations to make the meter come out right, but it was a joy to read. Thank you for going to all the trouble to write it. :) Nancy
reply by the author on 04-Nov-2011
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Steve, I enjoyed this bit of fiddled-with history very much. Here and there I had to adjust my American pronunciations to make the meter come out right, but it was a joy to read. Thank you for going to all the trouble to write it. :) Nancy
Comment Written 04-Nov-2011
reply by the author on 04-Nov-2011
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Thanks, Nancy.
Meter deliberately a bit varied to avoid sing-song monotony. I appreciate your taking the time to review this.
Steve
Comment from chita
Your author notes are superb-you have good imagery and a good flow with your write and rhyme well-you write a compelling story and you are descriptive--I love how you write about the war--great job.
reply by the author on 04-Nov-2011
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Your author notes are superb-you have good imagery and a good flow with your write and rhyme well-you write a compelling story and you are descriptive--I love how you write about the war--great job.
Comment Written 04-Nov-2011
reply by the author on 04-Nov-2011
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Thanks, Chita.
Glad you enjoyed.
Steve
Comment from Margaret Snowdon
You should win this
through effort alone,
since it's so impressive...
how hard you must of worked
on it and it shows....
good luck with the contest, Steve.
Margaret
reply by the author on 04-Nov-2011
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You should win this
through effort alone,
since it's so impressive...
how hard you must of worked
on it and it shows....
good luck with the contest, Steve.
Margaret
Comment Written 04-Nov-2011
reply by the author on 04-Nov-2011
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Thanks, Margaret.
At least when I read a mention of the Zulu war in your book, I was able to think, "Aha! I know all about that." I threw in the mention of Bartle Frere because, not far from here is the mountain (so-called) named after him and I never knew who he was before.
Steve
Comment from God's Writer
A truly interesting and historical poem Steve. I thoroughly enjoyed the documentary and the care you took for my comfort through this wonderful trip. You words painted wonderful visual scenes that took me to far away places and far away times. I really enjoyed your guided tour!!!!!!!!
reply by the author on 05-Nov-2011
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A truly interesting and historical poem Steve. I thoroughly enjoyed the documentary and the care you took for my comfort through this wonderful trip. You words painted wonderful visual scenes that took me to far away places and far away times. I really enjoyed your guided tour!!!!!!!!
Comment Written 04-Nov-2011
reply by the author on 05-Nov-2011
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Thank you for taking the time to read and review my lengthy piece. I am so glad you enjoyed the ride, but I think I will tackle a sonnet next - 14 lines is looking awfully inviting!
Steve
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I will look forward to it.
Comment from allborn66
This is a poem of epic proportions. I like the flow. I like the rhyming scheme. It tells its story well. The picture is a good touch.
Barbara
reply by the author on 05-Nov-2011
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This is a poem of epic proportions. I like the flow. I like the rhyming scheme. It tells its story well. The picture is a good touch.
Barbara
Comment Written 04-Nov-2011
reply by the author on 05-Nov-2011
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Thank you, Barbara, for taking the time to review my lengthy piece - I appreciate it.
Steve
Comment from stephybs
This is not a story poem! Its a book! Very well written and very interesting too! There are lots of things I liked about this piece including the history and battles and the farther that no one knew. But as much as it really is brilliant this is only a tiny review. Very well done! Stephanie
reply by the author on 05-Nov-2011
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This is not a story poem! Its a book! Very well written and very interesting too! There are lots of things I liked about this piece including the history and battles and the farther that no one knew. But as much as it really is brilliant this is only a tiny review. Very well done! Stephanie
Comment Written 04-Nov-2011
reply by the author on 05-Nov-2011
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Thanks, Steph, for taking the time to read and review my rather lengthy piece - I appreciate it - I am aiming for a sonnet next - 14 lines looks rather inviting.
Steve