Steve's Story-Poems
Viewing comments for Chapter 14 "Country Justice"A collection of my poems
100 total reviews
Comment from wilburmillicent
Well worth top billing! I have read some super poems today, but this one made me laugh out loud. The ending took me by complete surprise (may be not so much as the judge)and this is what sets the whole poem apart.
It scans so well and reads so easily, the reader may think it was written easily, but experience tells me that a great deal of thought and editing went into the work, to produce the final howler. I loved it. Well done and thanks for making me laugh.
reply by the author on 26-Sep-2011
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Well worth top billing! I have read some super poems today, but this one made me laugh out loud. The ending took me by complete surprise (may be not so much as the judge)and this is what sets the whole poem apart.
It scans so well and reads so easily, the reader may think it was written easily, but experience tells me that a great deal of thought and editing went into the work, to produce the final howler. I loved it. Well done and thanks for making me laugh.
Comment Written 23-Sep-2011
reply by the author on 26-Sep-2011
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Thank you for your kind words and the six stars. I'm glad the ending came as a surprise - I was going to foreshadow it a bit more, but settled for making him/her 'tall' rather than the 'petite' I had to start with.
You are right, I did work on this over a couple of days, but just to show that it's not always the case, I have just won another contest with a poem called 'Teddy Bear' which took less than two hours from idea to posting!
Thanks for the nice review - I love to be told that my work has generated a laugh.
Steve
Comment from ReaThomas
This HAS to be a winner! It must, must, must! I thought it was absolutely fantastic! The rhyme was perfect and the words quite complex, which made your rhyming of them even more impressive! I am SOOOO voting for this!
Much love,
Rea x
reply by the author on 23-Sep-2011
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This HAS to be a winner! It must, must, must! I thought it was absolutely fantastic! The rhyme was perfect and the words quite complex, which made your rhyming of them even more impressive! I am SOOOO voting for this!
Much love,
Rea x
Comment Written 23-Sep-2011
reply by the author on 23-Sep-2011
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Thank you - I think you just popped me back in front - the Mechanic poem is very good - I knew that before I even decided to enter, so I worked on this to try to get it right.
Thanks for your support and you kind review.
Steve
Comment from Chris Tee
This had an excellent punch line here Steve old chap.
Well done with a splendid poem here old boy.
It was a pleasure to read and review this excellent work.
reply by the author on 23-Sep-2011
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This had an excellent punch line here Steve old chap.
Well done with a splendid poem here old boy.
It was a pleasure to read and review this excellent work.
Comment Written 23-Sep-2011
reply by the author on 23-Sep-2011
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Thanks, Chris - glad you enjoyed my piece of fu.
Steve
Comment from P1
this is so funny i laughed throughout
the picture is amazing. your rhyme and
rhythm is perfect. if the writing was
slightly bigger it would have been easier
to read but doesnt take away from it in
the least. good luck with it in the comp
reply by the author on 23-Sep-2011
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this is so funny i laughed throughout
the picture is amazing. your rhyme and
rhythm is perfect. if the writing was
slightly bigger it would have been easier
to read but doesnt take away from it in
the least. good luck with it in the comp
Comment Written 23-Sep-2011
reply by the author on 23-Sep-2011
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Thank you - I really enjoy hearing that my work has raised a laugh.
Steve
Comment from Malerie
Great story; great illustration. I can see this unfolding and can relate since I am from a small town. "Where the river runs down, through our small country town -
One school and an ambulance station; Plus a servo, a pub and place that serves grub - There's a courthouse of high reputation." These lines capture the small town image. This could be a great illustrated book for children.
reply by the author on 23-Sep-2011
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Great story; great illustration. I can see this unfolding and can relate since I am from a small town. "Where the river runs down, through our small country town -
One school and an ambulance station; Plus a servo, a pub and place that serves grub - There's a courthouse of high reputation." These lines capture the small town image. This could be a great illustrated book for children.
Comment Written 23-Sep-2011
reply by the author on 23-Sep-2011
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Thanks for the kind words. I grew up in a small town and have lived in several so I do know a little about them.
Steve
Comment from sweetwoodjax
this is very well written, kiwi, a great job writing this funny quatrain poem about the flashing cross dresser and the unforgiving judge that got caught with his pants down. good luck in the contest.
reply by the author on 26-Sep-2011
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this is very well written, kiwi, a great job writing this funny quatrain poem about the flashing cross dresser and the unforgiving judge that got caught with his pants down. good luck in the contest.
Comment Written 23-Sep-2011
reply by the author on 26-Sep-2011
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Thank you - glad ou enjoyed this piece of whimsy...
Steve
Comment from Inge_Meldgaard
Serve that judge right! Clever Rob, but I wonder what the judge did next, eh?
Apart from that, extremely well written, very funny, not a typo or error I can see, and I hope you do well; although you'll have some stiff competition from others, methinks ;P
reply by the author on 26-Sep-2011
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Serve that judge right! Clever Rob, but I wonder what the judge did next, eh?
Apart from that, extremely well written, very funny, not a typo or error I can see, and I hope you do well; although you'll have some stiff competition from others, methinks ;P
Comment Written 23-Sep-2011
reply by the author on 26-Sep-2011
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Thanks, Inge.
Yes, the competition was tough and I count myself lucky to have edged out phattp's Mechanic poem - it was excellent.
Steve
Comment from alexgardiner
Then the buxom young wench smartly bowed to the bench,
Exploiting her assets astutely.
A well developed Rob eh! Clebber Lassladdie. And a very clever and funny poem Bonny Lad. Go straight to the tap o' the class:)
The Auld Yin.
reply by the author on 23-Sep-2011
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Then the buxom young wench smartly bowed to the bench,
Exploiting her assets astutely.
A well developed Rob eh! Clebber Lassladdie. And a very clever and funny poem Bonny Lad. Go straight to the tap o' the class:)
The Auld Yin.
Comment Written 23-Sep-2011
reply by the author on 23-Sep-2011
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He should have worked out when he glanced-
Those assets - silicone-enhanced
I had fun with this and thought I might have a winning chance - tough going though...
Steve
Comment from barkingdog
Surprise, surprise!! Well, you caught me in the end, again.
The story is really funny and you have drawn it nicely.
When she 'bowed to the bench, exploiting her assets astutely,' I figured he'd 'pause before passing the sentence'. . . and 'work towards mutual elation.' You have used added interest and melody to the piece with alliteration shown in the first two excerpts above and in many other places.
Nice entry, Steve. Good Luck in the contest.
reply by the author on 23-Sep-2011
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Surprise, surprise!! Well, you caught me in the end, again.
The story is really funny and you have drawn it nicely.
When she 'bowed to the bench, exploiting her assets astutely,' I figured he'd 'pause before passing the sentence'. . . and 'work towards mutual elation.' You have used added interest and melody to the piece with alliteration shown in the first two excerpts above and in many other places.
Nice entry, Steve. Good Luck in the contest.
Comment Written 23-Sep-2011
reply by the author on 23-Sep-2011
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Thank you - I tried hard with this because I'd already spotted one or two good entries in the contest - a little disappointing to see it languishing with the also-rans...
Steve
Comment from Giddy Nielsen-Sweep
Oh beautiful. This is really really funny Steve... Very reminiscent of Banjo Paterson, actually. You have provided us with the most amusing read. Good luck in the contest, Giddy
reply by the author on 22-Sep-2011
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Oh beautiful. This is really really funny Steve... Very reminiscent of Banjo Paterson, actually. You have provided us with the most amusing read. Good luck in the contest, Giddy
Comment Written 22-Sep-2011
reply by the author on 22-Sep-2011
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Ah, you may have spotted I stole one of Banjo's rhythmic patterns (from A Bush Christening).
Not faring that well in the voting unfortunately!
Steve
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Thought you might be familiar. Bush Christening is my favourite..I know it off by heart, Giddy