(Dis)solution
Please read notes65 total reviews
Comment from closetpoetjester
So is that a gun in your pocket or are you just gla...ahh never mind. Of course you are. LOL
Nice use of all your weaponry master rhymer. Nice ARSEnal. But it's what I've come to expect from your expert artillery. Ready...Aim...Mmmm, hang on. This is NOT a pro-gun poem? WTF??
Ooops.
Are you kidding with the disclaimer mate? Are people around here that fucking stupid? I guess so.
I'm all for a fistecuff but I draw the line at knives and guns...unless they're those ones attached to your forearms...
Cleverly written about the intolerance of society these days where someone would glass you or stab you as soon as look at you...then of course if you don't go down from a box around the ears you'll be king hit and skull dragged to the nearest bridge and thrown in a ditch. Then of course to complete the deal you'll have a couple of rounds emptied into your lifeless body just to make sure. What's the fucking world coming to?
So much violence in the world...no respect or courtesy anymore. No one wants to discuss anything or thrash it out the old fashioned way with a bit of word heave ho. You've cleverly displayed through humour the absolute absurdity of it all David. Well done mate...you metaphorically amaze.
P
reply by the author on 26-Feb-2014
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So is that a gun in your pocket or are you just gla...ahh never mind. Of course you are. LOL
Nice use of all your weaponry master rhymer. Nice ARSEnal. But it's what I've come to expect from your expert artillery. Ready...Aim...Mmmm, hang on. This is NOT a pro-gun poem? WTF??
Ooops.
Are you kidding with the disclaimer mate? Are people around here that fucking stupid? I guess so.
I'm all for a fistecuff but I draw the line at knives and guns...unless they're those ones attached to your forearms...
Cleverly written about the intolerance of society these days where someone would glass you or stab you as soon as look at you...then of course if you don't go down from a box around the ears you'll be king hit and skull dragged to the nearest bridge and thrown in a ditch. Then of course to complete the deal you'll have a couple of rounds emptied into your lifeless body just to make sure. What's the fucking world coming to?
So much violence in the world...no respect or courtesy anymore. No one wants to discuss anything or thrash it out the old fashioned way with a bit of word heave ho. You've cleverly displayed through humour the absolute absurdity of it all David. Well done mate...you metaphorically amaze.
P
Comment Written 26-Feb-2014
reply by the author on 26-Feb-2014
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That one is always there, P, and though it doesn't shoot real bullets, they've got enough popping power to get you where you need to be. ;-)
Many thanks, m'lady, for your always intuitive, humorous, ASSertive, and erective..I mean, effective, reviews.
I've gotten some confusing and disconcerting reviews with regards to interpretations since I've been back, and just wanted to make sure this one didn't go that way.
Thank you, my dear. :)
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I understand.
There are very stupid people here Dave.
I'm not for guns at all but I see the point you were trying to make.
P
Comment from barleygirl
The sarcasm in your poem is clearly detected, revealing this is not your preferred mode for settling disputes in real life. Author's notes sound a bit condescending to me -- not much understanding for those not strong at reading comprehension. It would suffice to state your position for clarity. Now, with that distraction addressed, let me say that I think your message is strong & well-written, as well as being very timely for our society these days it seems. Your sequence of violence (punching to knives to guns) is clever & graphic & original. Great job on this poem!
reply by the author on 26-Feb-2014
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The sarcasm in your poem is clearly detected, revealing this is not your preferred mode for settling disputes in real life. Author's notes sound a bit condescending to me -- not much understanding for those not strong at reading comprehension. It would suffice to state your position for clarity. Now, with that distraction addressed, let me say that I think your message is strong & well-written, as well as being very timely for our society these days it seems. Your sequence of violence (punching to knives to guns) is clever & graphic & original. Great job on this poem!
Comment Written 26-Feb-2014
reply by the author on 26-Feb-2014
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Thank you, b-girl. Glad you picked up on that, but unfortunately it happens a lot, so I felt the need to include the author notes. Possibly a little frustration got in there, but I didn't mean to condescend to any of those unable or unwilling to interpret poetry when it comes in hard and fast like they do here. That being said, thanks for the review.
Comment from Dean Kuch
Funny, Marillion, an excellently metered poem with snappy rhythm and a bouncy rhythm.
Of course, we realize( or should ) that you're simply being facetious here. Sadly, it's what our society, along with many others across the globe, has come to. What ever happened to good, old fashioned "talking it out?" Kids getting shot for having their music turned up too loud? Youth being hit by stray bullets in drive-by shootings...It's getting bad, and will only get worse, I fear.
reply by the author on 26-Feb-2014
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Funny, Marillion, an excellently metered poem with snappy rhythm and a bouncy rhythm.
Of course, we realize( or should ) that you're simply being facetious here. Sadly, it's what our society, along with many others across the globe, has come to. What ever happened to good, old fashioned "talking it out?" Kids getting shot for having their music turned up too loud? Youth being hit by stray bullets in drive-by shootings...It's getting bad, and will only get worse, I fear.
Comment Written 26-Feb-2014
reply by the author on 26-Feb-2014
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I agree, Dean. It's devastating to watch the news and see how many are dying senselessly over things we used to hash out in more simple means. Sorry for the author notes, but I've seen a lot of misinterpretations of some of my verse, and I didn't want this to be among them. Many thanks for your wise thoughts and great review.
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Always a pleasure, Marillion...
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Oh, by the way? Misinterpretations are fairly commonplace around here...LOL.
**SMILING**
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For sure, my friend.
Comment from Kenneth Schaal
City people should not (even) be allowed to own water pistols let alone real guns. This thing has already escalated to the gods of Colt and Smith & Wesson, as your verse instructs, bypassing all other options. Escalate, might be the wrong word to use here; regression might work better. Scares me. By the way-- brilliant little verse. Kenny
reply by the author on 26-Feb-2014
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City people should not (even) be allowed to own water pistols let alone real guns. This thing has already escalated to the gods of Colt and Smith & Wesson, as your verse instructs, bypassing all other options. Escalate, might be the wrong word to use here; regression might work better. Scares me. By the way-- brilliant little verse. Kenny
Comment Written 26-Feb-2014
reply by the author on 26-Feb-2014
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Kenny, though I'm not surprised that you coined them, too, but Escalation and Regression By Progression were the first two titles I came up with, but then remembered the word dissolution and liked the internal word play. Do you think one of the others work better? Thanks so much, my friend, for your ever-present wisdom.
David
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You hit on the perfect title, I believe. Gun ownership offers no solution to the erosion of human values. Adds paranoia, I think.
Comment from kiwijenny
So you are for pulling out the big guns....I am a woman so poisoning is more the thing:o) although sometimes it's just bad cooking so who would know? I cracked up at your author note.....Look forward to the gals response....
God bless
reply by the author on 26-Feb-2014
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So you are for pulling out the big guns....I am a woman so poisoning is more the thing:o) although sometimes it's just bad cooking so who would know? I cracked up at your author note.....Look forward to the gals response....
God bless
Comment Written 26-Feb-2014
reply by the author on 26-Feb-2014
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After reading Dawn's latest decision to poison the rogue with salt peter, I think I agree with you, Jenny. ;-) Thanks so much, my friend. This actually has nothing to do with the rogue wars. It's more of a social statement. I'd never shoot the ladies...not with THAT kind of gun, anyway. ;-)
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They will probably respond..you've created a monster..
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Several of them, actually. :)
Comment from LadyGuyse
Do not worry the absurdity of escalation is apparent in this poem. Very well written, love the rhythm and rhyme.. Let us hope people figure out ways other then violence to settle their difference of opinions.
reply by the author on 26-Feb-2014
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Do not worry the absurdity of escalation is apparent in this poem. Very well written, love the rhythm and rhyme.. Let us hope people figure out ways other then violence to settle their difference of opinions.
Comment Written 26-Feb-2014
reply by the author on 26-Feb-2014
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LadyGuyse, thank you SO much for your generous sixer, and your wisdom. I really appreciate it! David
Comment from Rondeno
It has all the deftness, all the control that I've come to expect of you, David. Terrific. It's one of those "Why-couldn't-I-have-written-that?" poems. How sad that you have to add the rider about not being pro-guns ...
reply by the author on 26-Feb-2014
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It has all the deftness, all the control that I've come to expect of you, David. Terrific. It's one of those "Why-couldn't-I-have-written-that?" poems. How sad that you have to add the rider about not being pro-guns ...
Comment Written 26-Feb-2014
reply by the author on 26-Feb-2014
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I was divided on whether or not to include the disclaimer, Mike, but misinterpretations are so common here that I felt like I had to. Many thanks for that ultimate compliment of envy, my friend. I was really pleased when this idea came in.
Comment from ragamuffin
Interesting, thought provoking and entertaining piece. Sad how hard it is for some people to have a reasonable and relatively peaceful conversation. Seems too many are into proving themselves correct rather than having a conversation and working things out. It's a shame there's so much violence in the world, gun and (massively) otherwise as well. Words can be as damaging as a bullet.
reply by the author on 26-Feb-2014
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Interesting, thought provoking and entertaining piece. Sad how hard it is for some people to have a reasonable and relatively peaceful conversation. Seems too many are into proving themselves correct rather than having a conversation and working things out. It's a shame there's so much violence in the world, gun and (massively) otherwise as well. Words can be as damaging as a bullet.
Comment Written 26-Feb-2014
reply by the author on 26-Feb-2014
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Isn't it, though, ragamuffin? Thanks so much for your insight, input, and great review.
Comment from jadapenn
Okay, big boy. I thought you would just be the referee, but it seems you're up for this confrontation. Very well written. Don't talk to me about meter - it's out of my sphere. Poem read well while telling a good story. I have no idea why the first stanza can't apply. A few drinks should have you hugging your enemy. lol. luv jada
reply by the author on 26-Feb-2014
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Okay, big boy. I thought you would just be the referee, but it seems you're up for this confrontation. Very well written. Don't talk to me about meter - it's out of my sphere. Poem read well while telling a good story. I have no idea why the first stanza can't apply. A few drinks should have you hugging your enemy. lol. luv jada
Comment Written 26-Feb-2014
reply by the author on 26-Feb-2014
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Thank you SO much, jada, for your generous sixer, and for your great insight into what SHOULD be a one stanza poem, but unfortunately, escalation is the human solution. I know I'd be happier sharing a drink and a laugh than drawing down at dawn. :)
Comment from Sloegin
WOW! You really gotr your message across. Your rhyming is good, your message is strong and you have a solid meter.
Good luck with it, I hope you get published.
Sloegin
reply by the author on 26-Feb-2014
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WOW! You really gotr your message across. Your rhyming is good, your message is strong and you have a solid meter.
Good luck with it, I hope you get published.
Sloegin
Comment Written 26-Feb-2014
reply by the author on 26-Feb-2014
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Thank you very much, Sloegin, for that fizzy review. ;-) Sorry for the play on words. Much appreciation for your kind words.