All Those Puzzling Pieces
Viewing comments for Chapter 71 "Twenty-five Years"What makes a life? How do the pieces fit?
89 total reviews
Comment from guinea
Well done my friend. Your words flow with a little humor and a lot of lonliness. This is how some see their marriage now. Shows deep thinking.
reply by the author on 22-Sep-2012
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Well done my friend. Your words flow with a little humor and a lot of lonliness. This is how some see their marriage now. Shows deep thinking.
Comment Written 22-Sep-2012
reply by the author on 22-Sep-2012
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thx guinea ...
Comment from judiverse
This is presented very well. The Wal[Mart card for the 25th wedding anniversary gives an ideal picture of marriage, and not the reality Reality is as you describe it leading separate lives, maybe being too busy. That can give one a feeling of loneliness, a sense that the other person doesn't care. The romantic version of love is for kids. What marriage is after 25 years is real life. Love you closing line. Good luck with your prompt entry. judiverse
reply by the author on 22-Sep-2012
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This is presented very well. The Wal[Mart card for the 25th wedding anniversary gives an ideal picture of marriage, and not the reality Reality is as you describe it leading separate lives, maybe being too busy. That can give one a feeling of loneliness, a sense that the other person doesn't care. The romantic version of love is for kids. What marriage is after 25 years is real life. Love you closing line. Good luck with your prompt entry. judiverse
Comment Written 22-Sep-2012
reply by the author on 22-Sep-2012
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thx judi!
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You're so welcome. judiverse
Comment from Carole Rosa
To the author of TWENTY-FIVE YEARS. No truer words were ever spoken. You and thee, can be a couple and still be alone. Been there! It's a very nice presentation. Carole
reply by the author on 22-Sep-2012
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To the author of TWENTY-FIVE YEARS. No truer words were ever spoken. You and thee, can be a couple and still be alone. Been there! It's a very nice presentation. Carole
Comment Written 22-Sep-2012
reply by the author on 22-Sep-2012
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I hear you Carole, loud & clear! We speak the same language on this subject!
Comment from Eternal Muse
Wow, that gave me goosebumps. "There is no Walmart card for the truth". I guess, romance dies off after so many years together, though my boss has been married for thirty nine, and still brings his wife flowers every week. Your poem was precious, I loved every line, and I give you a hundred points for originality. That last line was a bomb though.
A keeper.
reply by the author on 22-Sep-2012
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Wow, that gave me goosebumps. "There is no Walmart card for the truth". I guess, romance dies off after so many years together, though my boss has been married for thirty nine, and still brings his wife flowers every week. Your poem was precious, I loved every line, and I give you a hundred points for originality. That last line was a bomb though.
A keeper.
Comment Written 22-Sep-2012
reply by the author on 22-Sep-2012
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thx so much yeltel! it's a piece that is meant to bring up strong feelings for people, and I guess it works. You should see the lectures I'm getting! (And I, by the way, am happily married). :)
Comment from Jeanie Mercer
The most striking line in this poem is that "There's no Wal-Mart card for the truth." In this case, it would be a card about loneliness. This reminds me of some of the once-a-year Christmas letters that come around. There would be some real doozies if they just stuck to the truth. Good luck to you. Jeanie Mercer
reply by the author on 22-Sep-2012
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The most striking line in this poem is that "There's no Wal-Mart card for the truth." In this case, it would be a card about loneliness. This reminds me of some of the once-a-year Christmas letters that come around. There would be some real doozies if they just stuck to the truth. Good luck to you. Jeanie Mercer
Comment Written 22-Sep-2012
reply by the author on 22-Sep-2012
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thx Jeanie!
Comment from mermaids
Your indicate the marriage has changed and loneliness is prevalent. THere's no Wal-Mart card for the truth is a powerful last line.
reply by the author on 22-Sep-2012
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Your indicate the marriage has changed and loneliness is prevalent. THere's no Wal-Mart card for the truth is a powerful last line.
Comment Written 22-Sep-2012
reply by the author on 22-Sep-2012
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it is indeed mermaids - and unfortunately applies to way too many people ... but it wouldn't be a bestseller at Walmart now, would it!? :)
Comment from Curly Girly
I will give you 5 stars for this only because I see no technical problems. It is the way some people feel. How sad for them. I have been happily married for 25 yrs. Each day is a new jewel, a new treasure. Life is short and it can be snuffed out like a light switched off. Today is the day to be glad. Romance is created. It's never too late to begin.
reply by the author on 22-Sep-2012
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I will give you 5 stars for this only because I see no technical problems. It is the way some people feel. How sad for them. I have been happily married for 25 yrs. Each day is a new jewel, a new treasure. Life is short and it can be snuffed out like a light switched off. Today is the day to be glad. Romance is created. It's never too late to begin.
Comment Written 22-Sep-2012
reply by the author on 22-Sep-2012
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CG - I have been happily married for 25 years too! Do please understand that poetry is fiction, and not necessarily autobiographical - I've simply observed many people around me over the years. I'm glad you're happy too - but I don't particularly appreciate "I will give you 5 stars for this only because I see no technical problems" - because from that remark it would seem that you're critiquing the CONTENT of the poem, rather than the poem itself - see what I mean??
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Yes, I do see what you mean. Sometimes I think there are too many people against marriage these days - can you blame them? Most of our parents were divorced and sadly not good role models. :)
Comment from amada
This poem tells of many truths; those Hallmark cards sometimes they lie a lot, wonderful thing you wrote your own, from your own heart. These lines touched me " e are together, yes ... but
we walk parallel lives, eyes
straight ahead
dead."
reply by the author on 22-Sep-2012
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This poem tells of many truths; those Hallmark cards sometimes they lie a lot, wonderful thing you wrote your own, from your own heart. These lines touched me " e are together, yes ... but
we walk parallel lives, eyes
straight ahead
dead."
Comment Written 22-Sep-2012
reply by the author on 22-Sep-2012
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thx amada!
Comment from sunnilicious
Maybe you should get Hallmark Cards instead of Walmart. They seem to understand love and heart much better. Well thought out poem. Nicely written into a narrative. Good luck in the contest.
reply by the author on 22-Sep-2012
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Maybe you should get Hallmark Cards instead of Walmart. They seem to understand love and heart much better. Well thought out poem. Nicely written into a narrative. Good luck in the contest.
Comment Written 22-Sep-2012
reply by the author on 22-Sep-2012
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thx sunni! Hallmark isn't too much better I'm afraid! I only go to Walmart for the funnies and, believe it or not, am happily married for 25 years! :)
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Good humor goes a long way. Congratulations!
And you're welcome.
Comment from zlp22
It can be very lonely being with another person. You have to make your own life based on your interests. Just because you are old does not mean you cannot find love. Good poem, flow of words made it interesting, if sad to read.
reply by the author on 22-Sep-2012
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It can be very lonely being with another person. You have to make your own life based on your interests. Just because you are old does not mean you cannot find love. Good poem, flow of words made it interesting, if sad to read.
Comment Written 22-Sep-2012
reply by the author on 22-Sep-2012
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well "sad" is certainly the point of this prompt my dear - glad it's fiction then, yes??? thx so much for reviewing! :)
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I am glad this is fiction also.