Steve's Story-Poems
Viewing comments for Chapter 15 "Lafferty's Last Ride"A collection of my poems
85 total reviews
Comment from skye
Six for masterful poetic lines, six for historical events that created a world, and six for being able to rhyme it all into fascinating lines.
Very very well done.
reply by the author on 05-Nov-2011
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Six for masterful poetic lines, six for historical events that created a world, and six for being able to rhyme it all into fascinating lines.
Very very well done.
Comment Written 04-Nov-2011
reply by the author on 05-Nov-2011
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Thank you, skye. I very much appreciate the time taken to read and review and the six stars!
I'm going for a sonnet next - 14 lines seems a nice length!
Steve
Comment from DALLAS01
This poem must have taken an enormous amount of time to compose. I enjoyed the planting of such a vivid character, smack down in the middle of so much adventure. This was a rather enjoyable history lesson. A bit long but you certainly are to be congratulated on a composition that both teaches and entertains. I always appreciate author noted.
reply by the author on 05-Nov-2011
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This poem must have taken an enormous amount of time to compose. I enjoyed the planting of such a vivid character, smack down in the middle of so much adventure. This was a rather enjoyable history lesson. A bit long but you certainly are to be congratulated on a composition that both teaches and entertains. I always appreciate author noted.
Comment Written 04-Nov-2011
reply by the author on 05-Nov-2011
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Thank you for taking the time to read and review.
I certainly know more about the events and the period than I did before!
I appreciate your kind words.
Steve
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you're welcome.
Comment from strandregs
In future let me know when you are NOT entering this competition - Then I will. :)
NOt perfect rhythm and rhyme but plenty good for me.
I congratulate you on an elephant of an epic.and a great story.Zelick
reply by the author on 05-Nov-2011
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In future let me know when you are NOT entering this competition - Then I will. :)
NOt perfect rhythm and rhyme but plenty good for me.
I congratulate you on an elephant of an epic.and a great story.Zelick
Comment Written 04-Nov-2011
reply by the author on 05-Nov-2011
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Thanks, Zelick. I am not confident even of doing well in the comp. May be too much of an elephant.
I deliberately allowed variation in the meter - in a piece this length it would be easy to fall into a sing-song monotony if it is too regular.
Thanks again.
Steve
Comment from volcomfury
Well this sure was an impressive venture. I loved the color scheme and artwork as well. The poem itself was exceptional and flowed very nicely.
reply by the author on 04-Nov-2011
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Well this sure was an impressive venture. I loved the color scheme and artwork as well. The poem itself was exceptional and flowed very nicely.
Comment Written 04-Nov-2011
reply by the author on 04-Nov-2011
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Thanks for the review and the kind words.
Steve
Comment from fairydancer
This is fantastic! The cadence is a dream ~ it just rolls of the tongue when read aloud. It is serious yet funny and nicely emotive. Great story, well told.
I am sure some might say it is too long, but if they don't want to spend their time reading, don't read! It doesn't matter how long something is if its good!
Really well done and good luck in your contest - Cally :)
reply by the author on 04-Nov-2011
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This is fantastic! The cadence is a dream ~ it just rolls of the tongue when read aloud. It is serious yet funny and nicely emotive. Great story, well told.
I am sure some might say it is too long, but if they don't want to spend their time reading, don't read! It doesn't matter how long something is if its good!
Really well done and good luck in your contest - Cally :)
Comment Written 04-Nov-2011
reply by the author on 04-Nov-2011
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Thank you, Cally, for the enthusiastic review - I have to admit I was a little worried about how this would be received, but so far, so good, although I have a sneaking suspicion not all reviewers have made it through to the bitter end!
I appreciate the six stars - thanks again.
Steve
Comment from The Stranger
this really is a work of art my friend, you tell the story of one mans journey through the words in the poem, I have to say tat this really grabbed my interest throughout
reply by the author on 04-Nov-2011
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this really is a work of art my friend, you tell the story of one mans journey through the words in the poem, I have to say tat this really grabbed my interest throughout
Comment Written 04-Nov-2011
reply by the author on 04-Nov-2011
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Thanks for the review and the kind words and also the six stars. Glad you enjoyed the piece.
Steve
Comment from cheyennewy
Hi Steve,
This is some epic poem you have penned. Very long poetry is not my cup of tea but one I began to read I was hooked. You have strong rhyming and expressive words which makes this piece a joy to read. Poor Lafferty his only way to peace was death. I commend you for writing such an amazing story and I wish I had a six for you. Well done and good luck in the contest....chey
reply by the author on 04-Nov-2011
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Hi Steve,
This is some epic poem you have penned. Very long poetry is not my cup of tea but one I began to read I was hooked. You have strong rhyming and expressive words which makes this piece a joy to read. Poor Lafferty his only way to peace was death. I commend you for writing such an amazing story and I wish I had a six for you. Well done and good luck in the contest....chey
Comment Written 04-Nov-2011
reply by the author on 04-Nov-2011
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Thanks, Chey. I know it's long, but I just hope other readers are 'hooked' as you were to red on through Lafferty's adventures. I appreciate the virtual six - hope the judges think likewise, though I know the competition will be tough - I have just read an amazing kids' poem by J P Egry...
Steve
Comment from adewpearl
Excellent use of both alliteration and consonance in your opening lines
strong use of rhyming couplets and good flow in your lines, both good for reading a story poem out loud
excellent descriptive detail
that sets the stage well
great character development with Lafferty
love the Windsor widow characterization of Victoria
you describe the conditions effectively as well as Lafferty's heroic actions
dramatic sequence with the Zulus
how tragic, the death of his wife in childbirth - you sure go through a range of intense emotions
oh, murdering his servent when made with grief - this doesn't bode well
This really was some epic :-)Brooke
reply by the author on 04-Nov-2011
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Excellent use of both alliteration and consonance in your opening lines
strong use of rhyming couplets and good flow in your lines, both good for reading a story poem out loud
excellent descriptive detail
that sets the stage well
great character development with Lafferty
love the Windsor widow characterization of Victoria
you describe the conditions effectively as well as Lafferty's heroic actions
dramatic sequence with the Zulus
how tragic, the death of his wife in childbirth - you sure go through a range of intense emotions
oh, murdering his servent when made with grief - this doesn't bode well
This really was some epic :-)Brooke
Comment Written 04-Nov-2011
reply by the author on 04-Nov-2011
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Thanks, Brooke. I appreciate the time you always take to go beneath the surface of my work to pick out the poetic detail. Not sure how this will be received, but once the story took shape in my head, I couldn't let it go...
Steve
Comment from Patrick G Cox
Hi kiwisteveh
The term "Tommies" comes fromKipling's poem "Tommy Atkins" about the disgraceful manner in which the British Middle and Upper Classes sneered at soldiers - until there was a threat.
I enjoyed reading this, very much in the form of one of Kipling's and providing some interesting history in an entertaining way. Well done.
Patrick
reply by the author on 04-Nov-2011
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Hi kiwisteveh
The term "Tommies" comes fromKipling's poem "Tommy Atkins" about the disgraceful manner in which the British Middle and Upper Classes sneered at soldiers - until there was a threat.
I enjoyed reading this, very much in the form of one of Kipling's and providing some interesting history in an entertaining way. Well done.
Patrick
Comment Written 04-Nov-2011
reply by the author on 04-Nov-2011
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Thanks, Patrick.
I believe Kipling was using a name which was already in popular use. I read se-read some of Kipling's poems as I concocted this to get the flavour of colonial India especially. His style is almost inimitable, so I stuck to my simpler form of narration. He certainly deserves respect for his portrayal of the under classes and even (in Gunga Din) the native Indians.
Steve
Comment from TammyGail
A History lover I am so I did indeed enjoy your
poem .. It was very well written
Long but very interesting
Great notes as well
Your imagery was a perfect fit
Thanks for sharing it was a pleasure
reply by the author on 04-Nov-2011
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A History lover I am so I did indeed enjoy your
poem .. It was very well written
Long but very interesting
Great notes as well
Your imagery was a perfect fit
Thanks for sharing it was a pleasure
Comment Written 04-Nov-2011
reply by the author on 04-Nov-2011
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Thank you - I tried to fit the story around the history - learnt a bit along the way. I hope his may even spark others to read some of the historical background.
Steve