Steve's Story-Poems
Viewing comments for Chapter 2 "Cherchez La Femme"A collection of my poems
95 total reviews
Comment from Rdfrdmom2
kiwisteveh:
my friend, I find this might clever
and you could've really gone on forever
so to stop at eight was rather kind
and the men you chose just blow my mind
for there's one thing here I'm sure you know
people reap the seeds they sow
and unless there are facts that I haven't read
each one of them could have just said no, instead
thanks for sharing
love,
jan
reply by the author on 26-Mar-2011
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kiwisteveh:
my friend, I find this might clever
and you could've really gone on forever
so to stop at eight was rather kind
and the men you chose just blow my mind
for there's one thing here I'm sure you know
people reap the seeds they sow
and unless there are facts that I haven't read
each one of them could have just said no, instead
thanks for sharing
love,
jan
Comment Written 26-Mar-2011
reply by the author on 26-Mar-2011
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Thank you for your rhymed review
The words you write are very true.
I stopped at eight, I think you'll find,
Because I have more poems in mind,
American History and UK
Both of these are on the way,,,,
Thanks again :)
Comment from Cedar
This is a very well written piece. Your rhyming and flow
are both excellent and the different stories you tell really made me laugh. This piece evidently took a lot of time and work and you did a wonderful job with it.
reply by the author on 26-Mar-2011
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This is a very well written piece. Your rhyming and flow
are both excellent and the different stories you tell really made me laugh. This piece evidently took a lot of time and work and you did a wonderful job with it.
Comment Written 26-Mar-2011
reply by the author on 26-Mar-2011
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Thanks for the review - more hysterical historical lessons on the way!
Comment from volunteer angel
If I could, I'd grab that poet's license away from you. LOL
If your wife don't clobber you, give me the chance and I will. ( Just kidding ) Now you know that there are plenty of men who've gone wrong and women who were in the right. I got a laugh out of this inspite of my wish to grab ahold of you and shake you. LOL Hugs, Mary Ann
reply by the author on 26-Mar-2011
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If I could, I'd grab that poet's license away from you. LOL
If your wife don't clobber you, give me the chance and I will. ( Just kidding ) Now you know that there are plenty of men who've gone wrong and women who were in the right. I got a laugh out of this inspite of my wish to grab ahold of you and shake you. LOL Hugs, Mary Ann
Comment Written 26-Mar-2011
reply by the author on 26-Mar-2011
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Thanks Mary Ann - more hysterical historical lessons on the way! Who shall I offend next
Comment from JEMMAC
A brief history of female deception was the hook that grabbed me.
Most of the individual stanzas were fairly predictable, but
all raised a smile and were cleverly constructed. The latter ones were 'laugh out loud' and put a shine on the overall work. The obvious 'here comes the wife' was expected and by its nature the funniest.
reply by the author on 26-Mar-2011
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A brief history of female deception was the hook that grabbed me.
Most of the individual stanzas were fairly predictable, but
all raised a smile and were cleverly constructed. The latter ones were 'laugh out loud' and put a shine on the overall work. The obvious 'here comes the wife' was expected and by its nature the funniest.
Comment Written 26-Mar-2011
reply by the author on 26-Mar-2011
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Thanks for the review - more hysterical historical lessons on the way!
Comment from louparis
This is a fun piece (but not for the ladies, of course). You are a chauvanist, of course, in their eyes - so be it.
History in rhyme is always a gas.
Keep up the funny stuff.
Lou
reply by the author on 26-Mar-2011
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This is a fun piece (but not for the ladies, of course). You are a chauvanist, of course, in their eyes - so be it.
History in rhyme is always a gas.
Keep up the funny stuff.
Lou
Comment Written 26-Mar-2011
reply by the author on 26-Mar-2011
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Thanks for the review - more hysterical historical lessons on the way!
Comment from BothePo8
Very cute poem. It has good focus and clarity and tells an interpretation of the influence of women in a humorous way. The rhyme is pretty good although ( bolt/fault, broad/sword ) are not rhymes. The meter ( rhythm )is also a bit inconsistent from stanza to stanza...Other than these things, a very interesting poem and a nice walk through history...I was tempted to rate it one point lower due to the things I mentioned but effort alone more than makes up for that....Best wishes, Bo
reply by the author on 26-Mar-2011
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Very cute poem. It has good focus and clarity and tells an interpretation of the influence of women in a humorous way. The rhyme is pretty good although ( bolt/fault, broad/sword ) are not rhymes. The meter ( rhythm )is also a bit inconsistent from stanza to stanza...Other than these things, a very interesting poem and a nice walk through history...I was tempted to rate it one point lower due to the things I mentioned but effort alone more than makes up for that....Best wishes, Bo
Comment Written 26-Mar-2011
reply by the author on 26-Mar-2011
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Thanks for the review - more hysterical historical lessons on the way!
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Bring 'em on!
Comment from tango494
Very creative, I love how you chose to style this poem. You did an amazing job with your word selection and clear conclusions. I enjoyed reading and reviewing this poem. Thanks for sharing this wonderful work.
reply by the author on 26-Mar-2011
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Very creative, I love how you chose to style this poem. You did an amazing job with your word selection and clear conclusions. I enjoyed reading and reviewing this poem. Thanks for sharing this wonderful work.
Comment Written 26-Mar-2011
reply by the author on 26-Mar-2011
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Thank you for your kind review.
Comment from janbar
Oh what fun! Your intelligent rhyme was so very clever and presented each scenario with clarity. This was quite a "trip" ... through history. Being of the female gender, I don't take offense and am grateful for the reminder that we have so much power!LOL I really enjoyed every aspect of this poem. janbar (o:
reply by the author on 26-Mar-2011
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Oh what fun! Your intelligent rhyme was so very clever and presented each scenario with clarity. This was quite a "trip" ... through history. Being of the female gender, I don't take offense and am grateful for the reminder that we have so much power!LOL I really enjoyed every aspect of this poem. janbar (o:
Comment Written 26-Mar-2011
reply by the author on 26-Mar-2011
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Thank you! I'm glad I've made a lot of people laugh with this.
Comment from Connie P
As one of the 51% I didn't find the poem offensive, but genius. The examples you use are undeniable. Your poem is entertaining with a rhythm that carries it well and makes the flow excellent.
*Some people claim that there's a woman to blame ... Jimmy Buffet.
Connie
reply by the author on 26-Mar-2011
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As one of the 51% I didn't find the poem offensive, but genius. The examples you use are undeniable. Your poem is entertaining with a rhythm that carries it well and makes the flow excellent.
*Some people claim that there's a woman to blame ... Jimmy Buffet.
Connie
Comment Written 26-Mar-2011
reply by the author on 26-Mar-2011
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....but I know it's my own damn fault'
I'm not going to take responsibility for us getting evicted from the Garden!
Comment from Fireshadow
Well, Steve, you certainly allowed your misogynistic side to show in this poem ! Nonetheless, it's a great read due to your use of striking imagery and a strong rhyme scheme. Very well done, my friend.
Ama
reply by the author on 26-Mar-2011
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Well, Steve, you certainly allowed your misogynistic side to show in this poem ! Nonetheless, it's a great read due to your use of striking imagery and a strong rhyme scheme. Very well done, my friend.
Ama
Comment Written 26-Mar-2011
reply by the author on 26-Mar-2011
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Thank you - I hope everyone recognized it was tongue in cheek!