Steve's Story-Poems
Viewing comments for Chapter 1 "Bathroom Incident"A collection of my poems
68 total reviews
Comment from Writingfundimension
This is just a fantastically funny and extremely well crafted poem. Your final bon mot was perfection! A great poem, fun to read and making me glad I tub bathe! Warm regards...Bev
reply by the author on 28-Feb-2011
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This is just a fantastically funny and extremely well crafted poem. Your final bon mot was perfection! A great poem, fun to read and making me glad I tub bathe! Warm regards...Bev
Comment Written 28-Feb-2011
reply by the author on 28-Feb-2011
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Thanks for your comments - it was a fun one to write.
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You bet!
Comment from moyramouse
Great humour! What a sad tale you told, we were there soaping your back, shaking our heads at your over estimation of size, plugging our ears at your wails and laughing till we cried with she who must be obeyed. This is hilarious - what a good job you did here. x moyramouse
reply by the author on 28-Feb-2011
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Great humour! What a sad tale you told, we were there soaping your back, shaking our heads at your over estimation of size, plugging our ears at your wails and laughing till we cried with she who must be obeyed. This is hilarious - what a good job you did here. x moyramouse
Comment Written 28-Feb-2011
reply by the author on 28-Feb-2011
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Thank you - glad you enjoyed my misfortunes!
Comment from rhymelord
Dear kiwi,
Great poem, great story, but, strike me pink, mate, wait until you have trodden on the family jewels. That really hurts, but then being a Kiwi, that is unlikely, they being so shrivelled up with the cold and all (LOL, I think)
Regards
Reg
reply by the author on 28-Feb-2011
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Dear kiwi,
Great poem, great story, but, strike me pink, mate, wait until you have trodden on the family jewels. That really hurts, but then being a Kiwi, that is unlikely, they being so shrivelled up with the cold and all (LOL, I think)
Regards
Reg
Comment Written 28-Feb-2011
reply by the author on 28-Feb-2011
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Stand on them!? I thought I was being boastful by claiming to be well-endowed. BTW I have escaped the cold to live in the tropics - Cairns, N Queensland
Comment from fionageorge
Thank you, thank you, thank you. I hadn't had a good belly laugh yet today, my friend. But I have, and I am still laughing. What a wonderfully written story in a poem, and I hope for your sake it isn't biographical. Good luck in the contest. I think you will give it a good shake (I've entered, but... this is soooooooo good and soooooo funny!. Warmest regards, Marijke :o)
reply by the author on 28-Feb-2011
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Thank you, thank you, thank you. I hadn't had a good belly laugh yet today, my friend. But I have, and I am still laughing. What a wonderfully written story in a poem, and I hope for your sake it isn't biographical. Good luck in the contest. I think you will give it a good shake (I've entered, but... this is soooooooo good and soooooo funny!. Warmest regards, Marijke :o)
Comment Written 28-Feb-2011
reply by the author on 28-Feb-2011
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Thank you for the very kind words - yes, unfortunately biographical, although the outcome has been slightly exaggerated for poetic effect. How goes beautiful Tasmania - hopefully drier than us here in Cairns where we have received half a metre of precipitation in the last 3 days!
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Beautiful Tassie goes beautifully. It is supposed to rain tomorrow, but I'm sure the precipitation will be more tempered than in Cairns. :o)
Comment from KiwiGal
Gidday mate! I looked you up; you are living in Australia; you haven't written anything about yourself - don't you want to stress that you're a Kiwi helping to raise the IQ of that country?
Your wife must be Australian - a good wife would have kissed it better, especially (as you claim) there is a lot of, er, ground to cover. Who said 'size doesn't matter' - certainly no wife/girlfriend out of her partner's hearing...
So I'm glad you can still hold your end up - as it were - and no lasting harm done. Can they be insured, I wonder? You may be receiving some claims for damage to property, not to mention a visit from the SPCA for causing mother birds to abandon their eggs. And speaking of eggs... nah, fertility may no longer be an issue.
Well done; I certainly needed a chuckle this morning! Glad I found this. You probably are too.....
P.S. I'm in France - and everything you read about them is true .. everything!
reply by the author on 28-Feb-2011
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Gidday mate! I looked you up; you are living in Australia; you haven't written anything about yourself - don't you want to stress that you're a Kiwi helping to raise the IQ of that country?
Your wife must be Australian - a good wife would have kissed it better, especially (as you claim) there is a lot of, er, ground to cover. Who said 'size doesn't matter' - certainly no wife/girlfriend out of her partner's hearing...
So I'm glad you can still hold your end up - as it were - and no lasting harm done. Can they be insured, I wonder? You may be receiving some claims for damage to property, not to mention a visit from the SPCA for causing mother birds to abandon their eggs. And speaking of eggs... nah, fertility may no longer be an issue.
Well done; I certainly needed a chuckle this morning! Glad I found this. You probably are too.....
P.S. I'm in France - and everything you read about them is true .. everything!
Comment Written 28-Feb-2011
reply by the author on 28-Feb-2011
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Hah! I got confused 'cos I thought you had already reviewed...
Turns out that was Kiwigirl
So, anyway thanks for the 6 stars and glad you enjoyed the story. I have told my wife she was supposed to kiss it better but she was still cackling at me claiming to be well-endowed! Well, a guy can dream can't he?!
Speaking of dreams ... France? I am clued up, previously a French teacher, but have never been... and I'm sure I have no idea what you mean 'everything you read is true...'
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Yeah, people confuse me with her a lot - shows how much they pay attention to details - like 'girl' and 'Gal'. But surely I'm wittier and funnier than she...
I'm going to have to write to her at some point; I got a frosty reception from someone she had given a bad review to. I need to tell her to stop sullying my reputation.. he-he.
I hope you at least got to New Caledonia, Vanuatu or Tahiti to listen and interact with 'real' French... I met a girl who tutored in French at Auckland University; I was talking to a French guy who knew her at the time; she couldn't keep up and didn't understand half of what we were saying - and her accent was atrocious. I hope she wasn't yours...
The French - good, bad and uuuugly. The country is utterly magnificent however; I'm so in love with medieval villages...
Comment from SmokinJoe72
Ouch!!!! Great write and funny as hell, there was a bit of a shiver there.. Well rhymed with good flow. Very much enjoyed.. good luck in the contest...-joe
reply by the author on 28-Feb-2011
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Ouch!!!! Great write and funny as hell, there was a bit of a shiver there.. Well rhymed with good flow. Very much enjoyed.. good luck in the contest...-joe
Comment Written 28-Feb-2011
reply by the author on 28-Feb-2011
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Thanks for that - it's been well received so fingers crossed for a good result!
Comment from Akarva
This poem is fun to read and of course a one to be cautioned about also. This incident is related in a simple style yet very interesting. A nice one..
reply by the author on 28-Feb-2011
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This poem is fun to read and of course a one to be cautioned about also. This incident is related in a simple style yet very interesting. A nice one..
Comment Written 28-Feb-2011
reply by the author on 28-Feb-2011
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Thank you - it was fun to write - I hope it brought a smile!
Comment from Espresso momma
LOL............Yes that is a hoot! I could tell one but I'm not too sure I have what it takes like you. Only I was not the one screaming, a poor old soul who couldn't talk was. You can imagine. Thanks
reply by the author on 28-Feb-2011
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LOL............Yes that is a hoot! I could tell one but I'm not too sure I have what it takes like you. Only I was not the one screaming, a poor old soul who couldn't talk was. You can imagine. Thanks
Comment Written 28-Feb-2011
reply by the author on 28-Feb-2011
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Thanks - I guess I'll just have to imagine your story!
Comment from adewpearl
What a fun poem - the meter/cadence is steady and the rhyming couplets are strong. You create this story in vivid detail so that it was both fun and easy to visualize, not that I really want to visualize such things. LOL
You're right, as a woman I'm dying of laughter - so much for our empathy. LOL Brooke
reply by the author on 28-Feb-2011
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What a fun poem - the meter/cadence is steady and the rhyming couplets are strong. You create this story in vivid detail so that it was both fun and easy to visualize, not that I really want to visualize such things. LOL
You're right, as a woman I'm dying of laughter - so much for our empathy. LOL Brooke
Comment Written 28-Feb-2011
reply by the author on 28-Feb-2011
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Thank you! I appreciate the kind words even more having checked out your profile! You must have been around FS a while - something for us lowly mortals to aspire to...
Comment from Joseph W. Sestrich
Who among us all wouldn't get a kick from a poem so very sick.
I'd tell the one about a dope who got tangled in a rope-a-soap. The poor guy stood as his rod dangled, turning purple from rope all tangled. So, I can get just what you mean, when you describe the painful scream. Next time be careful not to whack those precious jewels within the sack.
Very very funny write. Love the levity.
Joseph
reply by the author on 27-Feb-2011
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Who among us all wouldn't get a kick from a poem so very sick.
I'd tell the one about a dope who got tangled in a rope-a-soap. The poor guy stood as his rod dangled, turning purple from rope all tangled. So, I can get just what you mean, when you describe the painful scream. Next time be careful not to whack those precious jewels within the sack.
Very very funny write. Love the levity.
Joseph
Comment Written 27-Feb-2011
reply by the author on 27-Feb-2011
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Thank you - looks like you could write this sort of thing too!