Chronicles of the Wandering Man
Viewing comments for Chapter 1 "Mother Dust"An extended story in poem form
118 total reviews
Comment from bhogg
Dark, dark, dark, but well written. Unfortunately, describes some of the world around us today. I particularly liked your close:
What animal have I become,
existing just to stroll,
inhabiting this purgatory
with no hope of parole?
I only know that I must seek
a purpose where I can.
Through desolation's aftermath,
I am the Wand'ring Man
Maybe the Wand'ring man can find light and happiness
reply by the author on 21-Apr-2010
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Dark, dark, dark, but well written. Unfortunately, describes some of the world around us today. I particularly liked your close:
What animal have I become,
existing just to stroll,
inhabiting this purgatory
with no hope of parole?
I only know that I must seek
a purpose where I can.
Through desolation's aftermath,
I am the Wand'ring Man
Maybe the Wand'ring man can find light and happiness
Comment Written 20-Apr-2010
reply by the author on 21-Apr-2010
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We can but hope he will :-). I see the darkness alleviating as his journey continues ...
Thank you for the great review!
Mike
Comment from Joycee
Well done. Unfortuantely life is like this, a war of its own. Sharing such thoughts will surely help someone. Disease can be like a war of one against many mighty germs.
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
reply by the author on 20-Apr-2010
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Well done. Unfortuantely life is like this, a war of its own. Sharing such thoughts will surely help someone. Disease can be like a war of one against many mighty germs.
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 20-Apr-2010
reply by the author on 20-Apr-2010
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Thank you, Joycee. I have to ask, was the 2 star rating intentional? It doesn't seem to match your comments.
Mike
Comment from volunteer angel
You just described a world that I pray we will never see in that entireity. Already, it's looking that way. Greed and lust, power and politics are the top contenders. We are the ones who suffer and our children even more so! Great job! The picture fits this one perfectly! V.A.
reply by the author on 20-Apr-2010
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You just described a world that I pray we will never see in that entireity. Already, it's looking that way. Greed and lust, power and politics are the top contenders. We are the ones who suffer and our children even more so! Great job! The picture fits this one perfectly! V.A.
Comment Written 20-Apr-2010
reply by the author on 20-Apr-2010
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Thank you, Angel. We can only hope it does not come to pass. In the meantime, it makes a suitably bleak and topical setting for my poetry series :-)
Mike
Comment from FredCollingwood
I think you're onto somthing, here, Mike. I would like to see more of wandering man. It's a fresh way to express your thoughts. Excellent!
reply by the author on 20-Apr-2010
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I think you're onto somthing, here, Mike. I would like to see more of wandering man. It's a fresh way to express your thoughts. Excellent!
Comment Written 20-Apr-2010
reply by the author on 20-Apr-2010
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Thank you, Fred. I have the next chapter ready, will be posting that pretty soon. Glad you enjoyed the read!
Mike
Comment from Amfunny
I enjoyed this very unusual poem. I found it to be very interesting and scary, too. It was a pleasure to read and review. Very nicely done. :)
reply by the author on 20-Apr-2010
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I enjoyed this very unusual poem. I found it to be very interesting and scary, too. It was a pleasure to read and review. Very nicely done. :)
Comment Written 20-Apr-2010
reply by the author on 20-Apr-2010
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Thank you :-). I thought I'd try something a bit different; a story told through a series of poems. We'll see how it pans out!
Mike
Comment from SteveG1960
Well I for one am wondering where the wand'ring man might next go. This is a very strong post-apocalyptic piece. The message is frightening and yet I like the fact that the wand'ring man is looking for a purpose. As long as we don't give up hope and fail to see that there is a purpose in our life then we might just stem the tied of destruction and despair. Thanks for this incredible piece
reply by the author on 20-Apr-2010
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Well I for one am wondering where the wand'ring man might next go. This is a very strong post-apocalyptic piece. The message is frightening and yet I like the fact that the wand'ring man is looking for a purpose. As long as we don't give up hope and fail to see that there is a purpose in our life then we might just stem the tied of destruction and despair. Thanks for this incredible piece
Comment Written 20-Apr-2010
reply by the author on 20-Apr-2010
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Thank you, Steve. I'm so glad you enjoyed it mate. I hope my future installments can match up to this one!
Mike
Comment from grassroots08
With choking and dust in the lungs at first I thought we were going to hear a poem about the volcanic ash story, but lo it was not. Thanks for sharing, cheers, Don
reply by the author on 20-Apr-2010
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With choking and dust in the lungs at first I thought we were going to hear a poem about the volcanic ash story, but lo it was not. Thanks for sharing, cheers, Don
Comment Written 20-Apr-2010
reply by the author on 20-Apr-2010
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Thanks, Don! I'm really glad you enjoyed the read :-)
Mike
Comment from Realist101
I have to say, this is great! What an imaginatiion, of course you HAVE to continue this idea Mike! I love it! The picture and vivid descriptions are perfect! VERY enjoyable! MORE???? Susan ps,,,I also LOVE this photo of your cat!! It reminds me of when Cartmen is being flummoxed somehow in South Park?? No offense!! :) Susan
reply by the author on 20-Apr-2010
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I have to say, this is great! What an imaginatiion, of course you HAVE to continue this idea Mike! I love it! The picture and vivid descriptions are perfect! VERY enjoyable! MORE???? Susan ps,,,I also LOVE this photo of your cat!! It reminds me of when Cartmen is being flummoxed somehow in South Park?? No offense!! :) Susan
Comment Written 20-Apr-2010
reply by the author on 20-Apr-2010
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lol! That's my cat Ozzy, and I call the picture 'The Codfather', and you're right; he has a very Cartman-esque look about him! :-)
As for my poem, I'm so glad you liked it, Susan! I have several ideas for adventures the Wandering man can get himself into, and hopefully people will enjoy the ride. Stay tuned for more, very soon!
Mike
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Hey! Good to hear from you! And Ozzy! I bet he is a doll...what a face! ANd yes, keep this character going, I will do my best to keep up with you!! GOOD job! :) Susan
Comment from mmichelle97219
This is an excellent piece to have at one of those Spoken Word Concerts. I can just hear you on stgage reciting it. well done.
happy writing
Michelle
reply by the author on 20-Apr-2010
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This is an excellent piece to have at one of those Spoken Word Concerts. I can just hear you on stgage reciting it. well done.
happy writing
Michelle
Comment Written 20-Apr-2010
reply by the author on 20-Apr-2010
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Thank you, Michelle :-). I do 'speak' my poems when I read them in my mind, and I agree, this could do well spoken. I'd need a bunch fewer nerves to give that a go, though!
Mike :-)
Comment from Harrisa
This world is like living in hell because of greed and corruption. You can't just soak of the sun any more because of the fear of skin cancer. At least we still have a beautiful place to live even though danger is all around us.
reply by the author on 20-Apr-2010
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This world is like living in hell because of greed and corruption. You can't just soak of the sun any more because of the fear of skin cancer. At least we still have a beautiful place to live even though danger is all around us.
Comment Written 20-Apr-2010
reply by the author on 20-Apr-2010
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Thank you, Harrisa :-). I'm glad you got something from the read.
Mike