Falling Off The Edge
Viewing comments for Chapter 2 "Falling Off The Edge - Part Two"A true story
46 total reviews
Comment from Eric1
Hi Ulla, this is now into a very sad stage of your life, attending the funeral of your adoptive Mother, If you don't mind me saying, I think you should perhaps explain a little more about her in your notes, anyone getting on board now wouldn't get the full picture my friend.
reply by the author on 20-Feb-2016
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Hi Ulla, this is now into a very sad stage of your life, attending the funeral of your adoptive Mother, If you don't mind me saying, I think you should perhaps explain a little more about her in your notes, anyone getting on board now wouldn't get the full picture my friend.
Comment Written 18-Feb-2016
reply by the author on 20-Feb-2016
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Thanks a lot for this, Eric. At this point it was not sad for me at all. That happened many years earlier. Why I bothered to attend I didn't know, but I am soon to find out. All the best. Ulla
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You are very welcome my friend,
Comment from Phyllis Stewart
Well written, as usual. I wonder why she even went to the funeral. She didn't love the woman, hadn't talked to her for fifteen years, and everyone seems to know they weren't close. So why go?
Did she expect an inheritance? I doubt it. INteresting that in Denmark you can't disinherit your kids. Bad law! LOL!
Found a comma error: Everybody started to sing a hymn, I recognised very well
Remove that comma. I'll tell you why if you want to know.
reply by the author on 20-Feb-2016
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Well written, as usual. I wonder why she even went to the funeral. She didn't love the woman, hadn't talked to her for fifteen years, and everyone seems to know they weren't close. So why go?
Did she expect an inheritance? I doubt it. INteresting that in Denmark you can't disinherit your kids. Bad law! LOL!
Found a comma error: Everybody started to sing a hymn, I recognised very well
Remove that comma. I'll tell you why if you want to know.
Comment Written 18-Feb-2016
reply by the author on 20-Feb-2016
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Hi Phyllis, you are so right why did I go? But I am to find out.Thanks for a great review. All the best. Ulla
Comment from F. Wehr3
Very nice work. I really enjoyed this. What nerve the man had to call you out. I found a couple things for your consideration.
'When she went on to talk about the virtue of my adoptive mother's life I faded out not capable to listen to the nonsense, and my thoughts began to wander.' The rule for this sentence is when you have a clause followed by two complete sentences, you use a comma after the clause and not for the normal conjunction (and). So comma after life and delete the one before and.
when she said, "listen, you never know what you get' I believe listen needs to be capitalized.
My adoptive father who I'd loved very much had been dead for several years so no help could be had from him. You have a non-essential clause within the sentence. Use commas around the clause. 'My adoptive father, who I'd...much, had.
I hope this is helpful.
Take care,
Russell
reply by the author on 20-Feb-2016
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Very nice work. I really enjoyed this. What nerve the man had to call you out. I found a couple things for your consideration.
'When she went on to talk about the virtue of my adoptive mother's life I faded out not capable to listen to the nonsense, and my thoughts began to wander.' The rule for this sentence is when you have a clause followed by two complete sentences, you use a comma after the clause and not for the normal conjunction (and). So comma after life and delete the one before and.
when she said, "listen, you never know what you get' I believe listen needs to be capitalized.
My adoptive father who I'd loved very much had been dead for several years so no help could be had from him. You have a non-essential clause within the sentence. Use commas around the clause. 'My adoptive father, who I'd...much, had.
I hope this is helpful.
Take care,
Russell
Comment Written 18-Feb-2016
reply by the author on 20-Feb-2016
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Hi Russell, thanks a lot for this great review. I have made some corrections. Thanks for reading and more to follow soon. All the best. Ulla
Comment from Helen Bach
I found this compulsive reading, it had an easy flow which quickly brought me into the story. I am intrigued by Ulla's story and will be checking part one.
Noticed one typo 'droned on, my thughts' easily fixed and otherwise grammatically sound.
You have a flair for the written word and a knack for the written word and I am desperate to know what happened.
This was a great read and excellently written, thank you for sharing
Kind regards
reply by the author on 20-Feb-2016
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I found this compulsive reading, it had an easy flow which quickly brought me into the story. I am intrigued by Ulla's story and will be checking part one.
Noticed one typo 'droned on, my thughts' easily fixed and otherwise grammatically sound.
You have a flair for the written word and a knack for the written word and I am desperate to know what happened.
This was a great read and excellently written, thank you for sharing
Kind regards
Comment Written 18-Feb-2016
reply by the author on 20-Feb-2016
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Thank you so very much. I am really pleased with all your praise. All the best. Ulla
Comment from Douglas Paul
This is an engaging story. It flows well and is a pleasant read. I see nothing that needs to be changed. The ending leaves enough mystery to make me want to know why she did come. Good job
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reply by the author on 20-Feb-2016
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This is an engaging story. It flows well and is a pleasant read. I see nothing that needs to be changed. The ending leaves enough mystery to make me want to know why she did come. Good job
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 18-Feb-2016
reply by the author on 20-Feb-2016
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Thank you so much. Thanks a lot for reading. All the best. Ulla
Comment from William Ross
very well written easy to read and follow. funerals are always hard, One wants to say great story but its a sad time in your life. looking forward to reading more, see how it goes. have a great day.
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The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
reply by the author on 20-Feb-2016
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very well written easy to read and follow. funerals are always hard, One wants to say great story but its a sad time in your life. looking forward to reading more, see how it goes. have a great day.
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 18-Feb-2016
reply by the author on 20-Feb-2016
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Thank you so much for reading. The point is that I was not sad in the slightest. That had all passed years prior to this.But I was to find out why I attended the funeral. All the best. Ulla