Beloved Dad . . .
Father had more children . . .69 total reviews
Comment from TAB_that's me
That is like twisting the knife that had already been plunged into your back. So sorry for your pain. I've missed you. Hope you are well.
teresa
reply by the author on 14-Nov-2015
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That is like twisting the knife that had already been plunged into your back. So sorry for your pain. I've missed you. Hope you are well.
teresa
Comment Written 14-Nov-2015
reply by the author on 14-Nov-2015
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Teresa: telling me that you missed me was such a nice thing to say. Thank you so much for paying me that compliment. This old woman doesn't received too many of those any more! As my heart weakens, I need more and more sleep. Having difficulty just keeping up with general house keeping. If I go anywhere, it takes me one to two days of lots of rest to be able to do anything. Saturday and Sunday I spent at my granddaughter's house. Her son turned 4 years on Sunday and she had a big party for him. It was exhausting watching an excited 4 year old attempt to "help" his mother get everything ready for the party! So, Monday I slept most of the day. Tuesday I got a ride to my father's grave which was about an hour each way and time spent there . . . not much time because I was shocked that he evidently had more children. I have step-siblings about that I don't know! So, on Wednesday, it was another rest all day kind of day. I am also getting a book ready for publishing so haven't written much lately. You can always hail me if you wonder where I've gone. I hope this finds you well and happy. Linda
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I wish the grave visiting would have brought peace and closure. Do you think you will try to connect with your half-siblings? Take care and rest.
Comment from Irish Goat
Emotionally evocative free verse poem about an epitaph on his fathers gravestone. After being abandoned or left, the author feels the pain and betrayal conveyed and felt by the author. Visual and vividly described
reply by the author on 14-Nov-2015
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Emotionally evocative free verse poem about an epitaph on his fathers gravestone. After being abandoned or left, the author feels the pain and betrayal conveyed and felt by the author. Visual and vividly described
Comment Written 14-Nov-2015
reply by the author on 14-Nov-2015
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Thank you, Irish Goat, for reading and sharing your thoughts. livelylinda
Comment from bichonfrisegirl
Written from the heart, you aptly convey your feelings of hurt and disbelief, livelylinda. Sorry to hear that your search for answers only gave way to more questions and grief. Sometimes there just are no answers to be found.
May you take some solace in knowing that at least you tried your best to figure it out; and, I hope just the act of writing this poem helped to purge some of the hurt from your heart.
The imagery you have created for your reader says it all clearly, "slack-jawed" and "like a boa constrictor eating an elephant".
bichonfrisegirl aka Connie
reply by the author on 14-Nov-2015
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Written from the heart, you aptly convey your feelings of hurt and disbelief, livelylinda. Sorry to hear that your search for answers only gave way to more questions and grief. Sometimes there just are no answers to be found.
May you take some solace in knowing that at least you tried your best to figure it out; and, I hope just the act of writing this poem helped to purge some of the hurt from your heart.
The imagery you have created for your reader says it all clearly, "slack-jawed" and "like a boa constrictor eating an elephant".
bichonfrisegirl aka Connie
Comment Written 14-Nov-2015
reply by the author on 14-Nov-2015
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Connie: I appreciate you reading and sharing your thoughts with me. Thank you. Linda
Comment from LanceHill
Sorry for the pain you have felt and are feeling. Our Heavenly Father loves us all and never wants to be away from us. I pray you will heal and be able to find forgiveness for your dad. Without forgiveness it will continue to eat away until you are no more. God bless.
reply by the author on 14-Nov-2015
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Sorry for the pain you have felt and are feeling. Our Heavenly Father loves us all and never wants to be away from us. I pray you will heal and be able to find forgiveness for your dad. Without forgiveness it will continue to eat away until you are no more. God bless.
Comment Written 14-Nov-2015
reply by the author on 14-Nov-2015
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LanceHill: I know about the need for forgiveness. I thought that would happen at the cemetery but then I discovered that he had more children and the knife twisted again. Thanks for reading and sharing your thoughts. livelylinda
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You are very welcome. God bless.
Comment from paperwait
Oh, how devastating for you. Probably a pain that will never go away. I am glad you are able to express your pain and hurt through your writing - not a solution, but a help. Keep writing and enjoying your family.
reply by the author on 14-Nov-2015
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Oh, how devastating for you. Probably a pain that will never go away. I am glad you are able to express your pain and hurt through your writing - not a solution, but a help. Keep writing and enjoying your family.
Comment Written 14-Nov-2015
reply by the author on 14-Nov-2015
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paperwait: thank you for stopping by to read this poem and for sharing your thoughts with me. livelylinda
Comment from Tessa Kay
Fathers seem to have that ability to forget about their first children and focus solely on the ones that come later. I know my father was like that, and they weren't even his biological children. I know how you feel, but you just have to get on with your life. All the best. :)
reply by the author on 14-Nov-2015
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Fathers seem to have that ability to forget about their first children and focus solely on the ones that come later. I know my father was like that, and they weren't even his biological children. I know how you feel, but you just have to get on with your life. All the best. :)
Comment Written 14-Nov-2015
reply by the author on 14-Nov-2015
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Tessa Kay: my father left the family when I was two years of age and I'm now 67 years of age so I have gotten on with my life. My entire life has felt like a big, missing chunk which could never be replace, was always missing. Makes you never feel quite at home, unsure of who you are. Just need validation from ones father. Thanks for reading and sharing your thoughts with me. livelylinda
Comment from Louise Michelle
I really feel for you, Linda. No matter what went on between your father and mother, I can't fathom his not wanting - no - needing to have a relationship with his children.
I wish I had words of comfort, but seeing that tombstone was like a dagger to the heart.
You could still try to develop a relationship with your step-siblings if you wanted to. I don't think I would if I were in your shoes. I fear it might lead to more pain. Hugs, Lou
reply by the author on 14-Nov-2015
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I really feel for you, Linda. No matter what went on between your father and mother, I can't fathom his not wanting - no - needing to have a relationship with his children.
I wish I had words of comfort, but seeing that tombstone was like a dagger to the heart.
You could still try to develop a relationship with your step-siblings if you wanted to. I don't think I would if I were in your shoes. I fear it might lead to more pain. Hugs, Lou
Comment Written 14-Nov-2015
reply by the author on 14-Nov-2015
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Thank you, Louise Michelle, for reading and sharing your thoughts with me. Linda
Comment from nomi338
Please know that the fault is not yours, he chose to leave and ignore you. Those kids that love and mourn him mourn a stranger, a stranger they do not fully know. A man who could reject his own flesh and blood. How much can he love these when he did not love the first children who came from him.
reply by the author on 15-Nov-2015
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Please know that the fault is not yours, he chose to leave and ignore you. Those kids that love and mourn him mourn a stranger, a stranger they do not fully know. A man who could reject his own flesh and blood. How much can he love these when he did not love the first children who came from him.
Comment Written 14-Nov-2015
reply by the author on 15-Nov-2015
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nomi338: I'm thinking that they don't know about my sister and I. I will attempt to find them. Thanks for reading. livelylinda
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Wonderful idea. I am willing to wager that they will be glad to know you as well.
Comment from happykat4
The poem reveals the pain and conflict within you. Sometimes a relationship doesn't work out and is too painful for all parties. You're feelings are normal and valid. I would not condone his actions. Here is a what if. Maybe it was easier for him to stay away because of the pain of leaving you each day. Maybe he thought your lives were better without him. Later in his life he may have thought about reaching out to you, but felt it was too late, or he didn't know how anymore. Some people are just selfish and think only of themselves right or wrong. You on the other hand are a caring and accomplished young woman. Please try to forgive and move on..your Children will always have someone who loves them dearly. I feel sorry for your father and all he missed out on. It is his loss. Kat
reply by the author on 15-Nov-2015
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The poem reveals the pain and conflict within you. Sometimes a relationship doesn't work out and is too painful for all parties. You're feelings are normal and valid. I would not condone his actions. Here is a what if. Maybe it was easier for him to stay away because of the pain of leaving you each day. Maybe he thought your lives were better without him. Later in his life he may have thought about reaching out to you, but felt it was too late, or he didn't know how anymore. Some people are just selfish and think only of themselves right or wrong. You on the other hand are a caring and accomplished young woman. Please try to forgive and move on..your Children will always have someone who loves them dearly. I feel sorry for your father and all he missed out on. It is his loss. Kat
Comment Written 14-Nov-2015
reply by the author on 15-Nov-2015
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happykat4: I don't think he was happy in his first marriage with my mother and realizing his mistake, left quickly. However, he has been quoted as saying he didn't want to be reminded that he had had children. He purposely cut the communication with me by the time I was three. Thanks for reading. livelyinda
Comment from Deniz22
A powerful experience...I hope God uses it for good in your life somehow...maybe that awful early experience has helped make you the compassionate person you are, lovely Linda...God bless you, Dennis
reply by the author on 15-Nov-2015
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A powerful experience...I hope God uses it for good in your life somehow...maybe that awful early experience has helped make you the compassionate person you are, lovely Linda...God bless you, Dennis
Comment Written 14-Nov-2015
reply by the author on 15-Nov-2015
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Thank you so much, Dennis, for reading, understanding and being so kind. Linda