Comment from Gunner Lil

Excellent

Very good story line. You used specific and concrete language.
You painted a very good picture and allowed me to continue
reading till the end.
Good luck and thank you!!

 Comment Written 26-Apr-2015

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reply by the author on 26-Apr-2015

Thank you for your support. Appreciate it very much.

Comment from bizzygirl

Excellent

When it comes right down to it, from a human point of view. I love Roosevelt's quote "you can't be a door mat unless you lie down" I think it fits here. He is done lying down. I really like your take on 'she didn't lock her door' Well done

 Comment Written 26-Apr-2015

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reply by the author on 26-Apr-2015

Thank you for your comments. Appreciate them.

Comment from jlsavell

Excellent

author, I do love these writing prompts. They evoke inspiration and many good works. Relationships are surely difficult but human behaviorism dictates that self talk serves to fortify and soothe our hurt. We say what we need to sever ties but often it isn't meant.

Your work has a lyrical lilt to it. Sometimes it gets lost in rhythm but not enough to distract. Keep writing.. jlsavell

 Comment Written 26-Apr-2015

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reply by the author on 26-Apr-2015

Thanks for your comments. Appreciate them.

reply by jlsavell on 26-Apr-2015

you are welcome

Comment from Dorothy Farrell

Excellent

Very well written and a bit different from what would be expected with a sentence like 'She didn't lock the door'. I think we would expect something violent, like an intruder or something. But you used this phrase as a metaphor. The end of the relationship as far as you were concerned. A good idea in rhyming couplets. Good luck in the contest. Warm regards Dorothyx

 Comment Written 26-Apr-2015

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reply by the author on 26-Apr-2015

Thanks for your comments. Appreciate them.

Comment from Cindy Warren

Excellent

Smart man. I know that old story can work both ways. People who walk out don't deserve to be taken back when they end up being the dumpee. She got what she deserved.

 Comment Written 26-Apr-2015

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reply by the author on 26-Apr-2015

Thank you for your comments and support. Appreciate them very much.

Comment from penneylane

Excellent

I liked it...it was a little long, but i especially like the last stanza. I need to make that my motto lol. On a more serious note, I like the way you worked the not locking the door from beginning to coming back around at the end. Very unique way to use that sentence. I saw it and went super dark with it, but I always go too dark lol. Good work!

 Comment Written 26-Apr-2015

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reply by the author on 26-Apr-2015

Thanks for your comments and support. Appreciate them.

Comment from TomyKan

Excellent

Well written, with good rhyme, rhythm and flow. Tells a powerful story with emotion. I liked the way the man's ambivalence was developed, and then the certainty of his decision. Well done.

 Comment Written 26-Apr-2015

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reply by the author on 26-Apr-2015

Thanks for your comments and support. Appreciate them very much.

Comment from dejohnsrld (Debbie)

Excellent

lost the love i had with you?
(capitalize I)

I love this. Instead of the usual burglar, prowler, blah story, you gave fresh life to this prompt. Best wishes in the contest, my friend~Debbie

 Comment Written 26-Apr-2015

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reply by the author on 26-Apr-2015

Thanks for your support and comments. Appreciate them.

Comment from MizKat

Excellent

Hi Poet,

It's nice that you made this prompt into a poem. You did a great job in writing it too. I enjoyed what you said in your poetic story and also the notes you wrote. Best wishes in the contest.

Kat



This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.

 Comment Written 26-Apr-2015

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reply by the author on 26-Apr-2015

Thank you for your comments and support. Appreciate them very much.

reply by MizKat on 26-Apr-2015

You're very welcome.