They saunter....
Shadows past.115 total reviews
Comment from Jannypan (Jan)
Good job with the prompt, although, I believe it said to write about only ONE ghost. This poem seems to be about more than one. However, I still believe your poem has a strong message. I like the way you held to your faith that God would see you through the trials the ghosts brought upon you. Good job, good luck in the contest, and thanks for sharing such an inspirational poem.
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I am so sorry. I see this is not a contest entry. However, my mistake did not cause me to lower your rating.
reply by the author on 01-Mar-2015
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Good job with the prompt, although, I believe it said to write about only ONE ghost. This poem seems to be about more than one. However, I still believe your poem has a strong message. I like the way you held to your faith that God would see you through the trials the ghosts brought upon you. Good job, good luck in the contest, and thanks for sharing such an inspirational poem.
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I am so sorry. I see this is not a contest entry. However, my mistake did not cause me to lower your rating.
Comment Written 01-Mar-2015
reply by the author on 01-Mar-2015
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Thank you so much for the kind review, lovely comments and excellent rating, I appreciate them, blessings, Roy
Comment from Doc Holiday
Well-written inspirational, spiritual poem that discusses the random thoughts that many of us have and how we should put our trust into the Lord. Temptations are gone with the belief of God..
reply by the author on 01-Mar-2015
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Well-written inspirational, spiritual poem that discusses the random thoughts that many of us have and how we should put our trust into the Lord. Temptations are gone with the belief of God..
Comment Written 01-Mar-2015
reply by the author on 01-Mar-2015
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Thank you so much Doc, for the kind review, lovely comments and excellent rating, I appreciate them, blessings, Roy
Comment from Deborah Marie
Nice contest entry; good luck. Your writing has a ghostly, airy feeling to it. Nice progression, rhythm and flow make this so. Again, good luck, Deb
reply by the author on 01-Mar-2015
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Nice contest entry; good luck. Your writing has a ghostly, airy feeling to it. Nice progression, rhythm and flow make this so. Again, good luck, Deb
Comment Written 01-Mar-2015
reply by the author on 01-Mar-2015
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Thank you so much Deborah, for the kind review, lovely comments and excellent rating, I appreciate them, blessings, Roy
Comment from GWinterwin
Very good message in this poem, also good word flow and rhyming. It tells a beautiful truth about the awesome power of our God. Good job of telling how you don't worry with God as your guide.
reply by the author on 01-Mar-2015
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Very good message in this poem, also good word flow and rhyming. It tells a beautiful truth about the awesome power of our God. Good job of telling how you don't worry with God as your guide.
Comment Written 01-Mar-2015
reply by the author on 01-Mar-2015
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Thank you so much for the kind review, lovely comments and excellent rating, I appreciate them, blessings, Roy
Comment from amahra
You wrote, Shadows Past. So I'm thinking the ghosts of your past. This is a very good contest entry. Really liked the rhymes and the steady flow of rhythm.
reply by the author on 01-Mar-2015
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You wrote, Shadows Past. So I'm thinking the ghosts of your past. This is a very good contest entry. Really liked the rhymes and the steady flow of rhythm.
Comment Written 01-Mar-2015
reply by the author on 01-Mar-2015
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Thank you so much Amahra, for the kind review, lovely comments and excellent rating, I appreciate them, blessings, Roy
Comment from lancellot
This is the only poem in this contest that had a moving spiritual and healing message. The ghosts of our past can haunt us, and you're right faith can put them to rest. Well done.
reply by the author on 01-Mar-2015
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This is the only poem in this contest that had a moving spiritual and healing message. The ghosts of our past can haunt us, and you're right faith can put them to rest. Well done.
Comment Written 01-Mar-2015
reply by the author on 01-Mar-2015
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Thank you so much for the kind review, lovely comments and excellent rating, I appreciate them, blessings, Roy
Comment from reconciled
royowen, okay man.. great poem.. Christ is King... puts our ghost to rest...good to be inspired by writing prompts... okay.. well thank you brother for posting.... bug love ..Michael
reply by the author on 01-Mar-2015
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royowen, okay man.. great poem.. Christ is King... puts our ghost to rest...good to be inspired by writing prompts... okay.. well thank you brother for posting.... bug love ..Michael
Comment Written 01-Mar-2015
reply by the author on 01-Mar-2015
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Thank you so much Michael, for the kind review, lovely comments and excellent rating, I appreciate them, blessings, Roy
Comment from happykat4
This was very good. Verses flow well. Message is trust and faith. It says you where to write about a particular ghost..so they are your ghosts! (I thought it would have to be something like "Casper" I enjoyed you work, and I'm glad you came out of seclusion. I have just retired, and have not written close to 30 yrs. I too enjoy this site.
reply by the author on 01-Mar-2015
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This was very good. Verses flow well. Message is trust and faith. It says you where to write about a particular ghost..so they are your ghosts! (I thought it would have to be something like "Casper" I enjoyed you work, and I'm glad you came out of seclusion. I have just retired, and have not written close to 30 yrs. I too enjoy this site.
Comment Written 01-Mar-2015
reply by the author on 01-Mar-2015
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Welcome here, I hope you enjoy it people are lovely, and thank you for wonderful review. Blessings, Roy.
Comment from nancyjam
Very nice Roy. A wonderful entry in this contest.
Ghosts of the past can be put to rest when accepting
God's help and forgiveness.
Excellent rhyme and creative imagery and metaphor usage.
Good luck in the contest. Nancy
reply by the author on 01-Mar-2015
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Very nice Roy. A wonderful entry in this contest.
Ghosts of the past can be put to rest when accepting
God's help and forgiveness.
Excellent rhyme and creative imagery and metaphor usage.
Good luck in the contest. Nancy
Comment Written 01-Mar-2015
reply by the author on 01-Mar-2015
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Thank you so much for the kind review, lovely comments and excellent rating, I appreciate them, blessings, Roy
Comment from kiwisteveh
Roy, your poem as it stands is a strong declaration of your faith in God and how that is enough to put the ghosts of your past to flight. As I read, I wondered about the place in your poem of stanza 3 - here you talk of bells and gongs, not ghosts at all. Stanza 2 is also bit puzzling - unless I am reading it wrong, it is an incomplete sentence - when haunted what?
I am going to make a drastic suggestion, partly based on a discovery about my own writing, that I write way too much. I think your poem would be much stronger if you cut stanzas 2 and 3 and possibly 4 as well. All of the main meaning would be retained and the poem would be much punchier and potent.
I just checked and that would put you out of the running for this contest! I will still stand by my idea that the poem would be better, though!
Good luck.
Steve
PS an afterthought - if these ghosts are so dark and gloomy, would they really 'saunter' which is such a light and happy word?
reply by the author on 01-Mar-2015
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Roy, your poem as it stands is a strong declaration of your faith in God and how that is enough to put the ghosts of your past to flight. As I read, I wondered about the place in your poem of stanza 3 - here you talk of bells and gongs, not ghosts at all. Stanza 2 is also bit puzzling - unless I am reading it wrong, it is an incomplete sentence - when haunted what?
I am going to make a drastic suggestion, partly based on a discovery about my own writing, that I write way too much. I think your poem would be much stronger if you cut stanzas 2 and 3 and possibly 4 as well. All of the main meaning would be retained and the poem would be much punchier and potent.
I just checked and that would put you out of the running for this contest! I will still stand by my idea that the poem would be better, though!
Good luck.
Steve
PS an afterthought - if these ghosts are so dark and gloomy, would they really 'saunter' which is such a light and happy word?
Comment Written 01-Mar-2015
reply by the author on 01-Mar-2015
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It was the amount of words they needed 100-180 words Steve, I used the word saunter like an arrogant slow walk, taunting me like. I added stanzas 2-3 later, great review thanks, blessings, Roy.
