The Ghost of Marion Lear
A tale of love, loss and revenge in the old west...75 total reviews
Comment from pipersfancy
Wooo Ya! I love this one, Dean! And I'm sure Charlie loves it, too!
What a tale you've spun! The rhyme and meter were spot on... well, I'm guessing they were - I was too mesmerized by the unfolding story to really pay attention! (If anything was 'off' I would have noticed, and I didn't... so there ya go!)
Sure wouldn't want to mess with Miss Lear!
Those were some tough folks... the people who settled the west.
Great poem!
Christina
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Wooo Ya! I love this one, Dean! And I'm sure Charlie loves it, too!
What a tale you've spun! The rhyme and meter were spot on... well, I'm guessing they were - I was too mesmerized by the unfolding story to really pay attention! (If anything was 'off' I would have noticed, and I didn't... so there ya go!)
Sure wouldn't want to mess with Miss Lear!
Those were some tough folks... the people who settled the west.
Great poem!
Christina
Comment Written 22-Dec-2014
Comment from ravenblack
As a devotee of spaghetti westerns, your poem made me see with fondness tumbleweeds blowing across this Midwestern town. King Lear and MacBeth. It also reminds me of the best of the classic country ballads, like Marty Robbin's Streets of Laredo. I think you must've had a big iron on your hip when you wrote this one. Excellent poem.
reply by the author on 23-Dec-2014
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As a devotee of spaghetti westerns, your poem made me see with fondness tumbleweeds blowing across this Midwestern town. King Lear and MacBeth. It also reminds me of the best of the classic country ballads, like Marty Robbin's Streets of Laredo. I think you must've had a big iron on your hip when you wrote this one. Excellent poem.
Comment Written 22-Dec-2014
reply by the author on 23-Dec-2014
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Thanks very much for your comments and review, Ed. I'm glad you enjoyed this piece.
Merry Christmas!
~Dean ;)
Comment from mfowler
I think you enjoyed writing this as much as folks is gunna enjoy a'readin' this fine pome, Mr Kuch, sir.
That's it, I don't do western lingo with the aplomb you've shown here, Dean. In fact, I feel like I've been to the movies to see a good western. You've told a great tale of jealousy, gunslinging and revenge in the west.
The scene is beautifully laid out and the action evolves perfectly.
There was a kind of inevitability about the outcome, but no matter, it was dramatic and entertaining.
Your verse flowed smoothly and since you went for colloquial speech, you've done well to maintain rhyme and flow.
I loved some of your more inventive names eg Mandy Chan - from the Mongol Clan, and rhymes 'Joe MacBeth' and 'death'. I thought you illustrations were great, one of the best setups I'eve seen from you. Really meshed with piece.
Great entertainment.
Have a peace filled Christmas, Dean, and thank you for the support and entertainment that you've provide me and fellow Fanstorians throughout 2014; ever the gentleman and positive mentor.
reply by the author on 22-Dec-2014
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I think you enjoyed writing this as much as folks is gunna enjoy a'readin' this fine pome, Mr Kuch, sir.
That's it, I don't do western lingo with the aplomb you've shown here, Dean. In fact, I feel like I've been to the movies to see a good western. You've told a great tale of jealousy, gunslinging and revenge in the west.
The scene is beautifully laid out and the action evolves perfectly.
There was a kind of inevitability about the outcome, but no matter, it was dramatic and entertaining.
Your verse flowed smoothly and since you went for colloquial speech, you've done well to maintain rhyme and flow.
I loved some of your more inventive names eg Mandy Chan - from the Mongol Clan, and rhymes 'Joe MacBeth' and 'death'. I thought you illustrations were great, one of the best setups I'eve seen from you. Really meshed with piece.
Great entertainment.
Have a peace filled Christmas, Dean, and thank you for the support and entertainment that you've provide me and fellow Fanstorians throughout 2014; ever the gentleman and positive mentor.
Comment Written 22-Dec-2014
reply by the author on 22-Dec-2014
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Thank you, Mark. You've given me one of the best reviews I have ever received, and for that I am truly grateful. I echo the same sentiments your way concerning entertaining writing. I've been highly entertained by yours as well, my friend.
Thanks again, Mark, and Merry Christmas to you.
~Dean
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My pleasure.
Merry Christmas
Comment from Glasstruth
Wow! What a western tale of two gunslingers that meet. Reminds me of 'High Noon' The same excitement here. A bit different from your usual horror, but just as awesome. The pictures really add flavor to your words. You must've spent a lot of time putting this together. It shows. Superb! Les
reply by the author on 22-Dec-2014
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Wow! What a western tale of two gunslingers that meet. Reminds me of 'High Noon' The same excitement here. A bit different from your usual horror, but just as awesome. The pictures really add flavor to your words. You must've spent a lot of time putting this together. It shows. Superb! Les
Comment Written 22-Dec-2014
reply by the author on 22-Dec-2014
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Thanks, Les, and I did spend lots of time on it, probably too much, at least according to my wife, LOL.
Thanks for the outstanding rating and review. I really appreciate it. :)
~Dean
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You welcome. :)) Les
Comment from emrpoems
delightful internal rhymes
Good use of rhyming couplets
You could have entered this in -- share a story in a poem contest
Good western for a change, not dark but entertaining. Maybe you could let Charlie be your muse for a while LOL
reply by the author on 22-Dec-2014
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delightful internal rhymes
Good use of rhyming couplets
You could have entered this in -- share a story in a poem contest
Good western for a change, not dark but entertaining. Maybe you could let Charlie be your muse for a while LOL
Comment Written 22-Dec-2014
reply by the author on 22-Dec-2014
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Hah-ha, maybe, Em, maybe. Thanks for the great review. I'm really glad that you enjoyed it. :)
~Dean
Comment from Writingfundimension
Charlie should be mighty pleased with this excellent homage to his Western style of writing. Your internal rhymes are really excellent, Dean, and the story within this poem is quite fascinating. Very well done, my friend.
Happy Holidays,
Bev
reply by the author on 22-Dec-2014
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Charlie should be mighty pleased with this excellent homage to his Western style of writing. Your internal rhymes are really excellent, Dean, and the story within this poem is quite fascinating. Very well done, my friend.
Happy Holidays,
Bev
Comment Written 22-Dec-2014
reply by the author on 22-Dec-2014
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Happy Holidays and a very Merry Christmas to you & yours, Bev. Thanks so much for the great review. ;)
~Dean
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You're most welcome, Dean. :) Bev
Comment from Spitfire
Any particular reason why you used the names of Shakespeare famed tragic heros-Lear and Macbeth? I'm not much for westerns, but this held my attention. Didn't see the end coming. Super characterization of Randy Red. Arrogant as they come. No tears will be shed for him. A terrific story enhanced by the pictures.
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Any particular reason why you used the names of Shakespeare famed tragic heros-Lear and Macbeth? I'm not much for westerns, but this held my attention. Didn't see the end coming. Super characterization of Randy Red. Arrogant as they come. No tears will be shed for him. A terrific story enhanced by the pictures.
Comment Written 22-Dec-2014
Comment from Leineco
The internal couplet rhyme and subsequent coupleted lines establish a cadence that makes reading this quite rhythmic :-)
An age old tale of unrequited love, jealousy, might-makes-right and fatal consequences, all set in the wild,wild west! (Not sure I fell terribly sorry for Ms Marion, if what Randy said is true. . .bushwhacked and left for dead by her and her lover. . .)
Loved the integrated artwork :-)
Nicely done Dean. It definitely had that "Lore of the West" vibe :-)
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The internal couplet rhyme and subsequent coupleted lines establish a cadence that makes reading this quite rhythmic :-)
An age old tale of unrequited love, jealousy, might-makes-right and fatal consequences, all set in the wild,wild west! (Not sure I fell terribly sorry for Ms Marion, if what Randy said is true. . .bushwhacked and left for dead by her and her lover. . .)
Loved the integrated artwork :-)
Nicely done Dean. It definitely had that "Lore of the West" vibe :-)
Comment Written 22-Dec-2014
Comment from Jacqueline M Franklin
Hi, Dean,
I thought I was reading one of my westerns when I started reading this. If you enjoy them, you'll have to give one of mine a look-see.
Entertaining read. You're right, Charlie is good. I read his and he's been kind enough to follow my westerns.
Of course, you know how much I enjoy your work. However, I expected a skull to come flying out at me before the read was over! LOL.
Well done, pard!
*Season's Greetings*
Cheers & Blessings
Keep Smilin'... Jax (*:*)
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Hi, Dean,
I thought I was reading one of my westerns when I started reading this. If you enjoy them, you'll have to give one of mine a look-see.
Entertaining read. You're right, Charlie is good. I read his and he's been kind enough to follow my westerns.
Of course, you know how much I enjoy your work. However, I expected a skull to come flying out at me before the read was over! LOL.
Well done, pard!
*Season's Greetings*
Cheers & Blessings
Keep Smilin'... Jax (*:*)
Comment Written 22-Dec-2014
Comment from Lighthouse Keeper
A great western tale, Dean. Really enjoyed it. It took me a few tries to get the cadence down with the lines but after a bit it flowed pretty well. Great tone and some wonderful descriptions (tumble weeds and dust). Some good comic moments with the boy looking for a seat. Not sure if it's my computer of FS's new lay-out but the formatting made it difficult for me to read it smoothly.
Thanks for the tip on Charlie. I will take a look and enjoy a good western tale.
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
reply by the author on 23-Dec-2014
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A great western tale, Dean. Really enjoyed it. It took me a few tries to get the cadence down with the lines but after a bit it flowed pretty well. Great tone and some wonderful descriptions (tumble weeds and dust). Some good comic moments with the boy looking for a seat. Not sure if it's my computer of FS's new lay-out but the formatting made it difficult for me to read it smoothly.
Thanks for the tip on Charlie. I will take a look and enjoy a good western tale.
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 22-Dec-2014
reply by the author on 23-Dec-2014
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I'm not sure, LK, yours is the first complaint I've heard on the "formatting" Try it on FS Classic, see if it looks better to you there. I can't control what goes on with the formatting after I've posted it. I've had nothing but trouble after the site was upgraded, but classic always looks just fine, and as I intended.
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Thanks Dean, I'll take a look at it in classic.
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Thanks, LK. Much appreciated. As I said, it looks just fine there. ;)
