Steve's Story-Poems
Viewing comments for Chapter 36 "Me and Spiggo-Thingo"A collection of my poems
83 total reviews
Comment from chasennov
'Me And Spiggo-Thingo.' This is an excellent attempt at Humor poetry. The structure is quite sound, and the formulation very good. Well done.
reply by the author on 08-Jan-2014
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'Me And Spiggo-Thingo.' This is an excellent attempt at Humor poetry. The structure is quite sound, and the formulation very good. Well done.
Comment Written 06-Jan-2014
reply by the author on 08-Jan-2014
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Thank you!
Steve
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Welcome.
Comment from CrystieCookie999
I just like this due to its 'strordinary' humor. Nice job on getting a Spygmomanometer to take on a name and extended metaphor as a dinosaur of sorts. So funny, thanks for brightening my day.
reply by the author on 08-Jan-2014
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I just like this due to its 'strordinary' humor. Nice job on getting a Spygmomanometer to take on a name and extended metaphor as a dinosaur of sorts. So funny, thanks for brightening my day.
Comment Written 06-Jan-2014
reply by the author on 08-Jan-2014
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Thanks so much for the kind words and the six stars - glad you enjoyed.
Steve
Comment from Cumbrianlass
Very well done indeed. I love the rhymes - the whole thing reads so well, and the way you incorporated all those diseases was really clever.
A couple of little things:
But then they fill them up with folk whose orifices (are) streaming
The shook her head and tapped the glass- Then
Av
reply by the author on 08-Jan-2014
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Very well done indeed. I love the rhymes - the whole thing reads so well, and the way you incorporated all those diseases was really clever.
A couple of little things:
But then they fill them up with folk whose orifices (are) streaming
The shook her head and tapped the glass- Then
Av
Comment Written 06-Jan-2014
reply by the author on 08-Jan-2014
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Thanks for the review and the sharp eye, Av - Glad you enjoyed.
Steve
Comment from DionysusDeVille
Lol this was hilarious, but so true. Hospitals are very clean but so full of disease you're almost afraid to touch anything, so it's like "stay away" lol
reply by the author on 08-Jan-2014
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Lol this was hilarious, but so true. Hospitals are very clean but so full of disease you're almost afraid to touch anything, so it's like "stay away" lol
Comment Written 06-Jan-2014
reply by the author on 08-Jan-2014
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Thank you!
Steve
Comment from Just Pete
This is a great read. The language is real and the rhyme perfect. I think there's nothing better than good humour and this is exceptional. Congratulations on the two awards - both well deserved. A great start to my day.
reply by the author on 08-Jan-2014
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This is a great read. The language is real and the rhyme perfect. I think there's nothing better than good humour and this is exceptional. Congratulations on the two awards - both well deserved. A great start to my day.
Comment Written 06-Jan-2014
reply by the author on 08-Jan-2014
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Thanks, Pete
reviewers who tell me they laughed are always welcome and the six stars aint bad either.
Steve
Comment from Adri7enne
Your print is too small to read comfortably, steve.
"THE shook her head and tapped the glass and swirled it round and round." THEN
"'strordinary vigour." LOL! Well done!
That was terrific rhyming and dead on rhythm. I really enjoyed the story. Glad you discovered the problem before it took you, steve. Take your pill regularly. I look forward to many more of these. In larger print, though.
reply by the author on 08-Jan-2014
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Your print is too small to read comfortably, steve.
"THE shook her head and tapped the glass and swirled it round and round." THEN
"'strordinary vigour." LOL! Well done!
That was terrific rhyming and dead on rhythm. I really enjoyed the story. Glad you discovered the problem before it took you, steve. Take your pill regularly. I look forward to many more of these. In larger print, though.
Comment Written 06-Jan-2014
reply by the author on 08-Jan-2014
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Sorry about the problem with print size - smaller than my usual because I was trying to keep the longer lines on one line.
Thanks for reviewing and glad you enjoyed....
Steve
Comment from elchupakabra
The shook her - Then shook her
I thought that this piece was excellent. I think we all cringe a little at having to go to the doctors, at least I know I do. Most of the time their answer is pills, so I don't exactly trust most doctors either. Anyways, this piece flowed perfectly, made fantastic use of assonances and was a fun read overall so thanks for sharing :)
reply by the author on 08-Jan-2014
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The shook her - Then shook her
I thought that this piece was excellent. I think we all cringe a little at having to go to the doctors, at least I know I do. Most of the time their answer is pills, so I don't exactly trust most doctors either. Anyways, this piece flowed perfectly, made fantastic use of assonances and was a fun read overall so thanks for sharing :)
Comment Written 06-Jan-2014
reply by the author on 08-Jan-2014
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Thanks for the review and the shary eye for a typo! Glad you enjoyed.
Steve
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Np. Whenever you get a chance, please check out chapter 23 of my script the Change. It's titled Going Home and is currently being promoted on the first page :)
Comment from Glasstruth
Glad your hypertension is under control. Your story told in iambic meter is just amazing. It's very entertaining. The rhyming is perfect. Love the title, that alone got me interested. Give it a thumb-wagging thumbs up! Les
reply by the author on 08-Jan-2014
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Glad your hypertension is under control. Your story told in iambic meter is just amazing. It's very entertaining. The rhyming is perfect. Love the title, that alone got me interested. Give it a thumb-wagging thumbs up! Les
Comment Written 06-Jan-2014
reply by the author on 08-Jan-2014
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Thanks, Les.
Steve
Comment from AudreyRose
This was an adorable and funny poem :-) The beat was smooth and even, the rhymes were all spot on.
2 things I noticed-
"whose orifices [are] streaming"- should this have the word are in it?
diarrh[o]ea; - no "o" in this word
you did great job!
reply by the author on 08-Jan-2014
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This was an adorable and funny poem :-) The beat was smooth and even, the rhymes were all spot on.
2 things I noticed-
"whose orifices [are] streaming"- should this have the word are in it?
diarrh[o]ea; - no "o" in this word
you did great job!
Comment Written 06-Jan-2014
reply by the author on 08-Jan-2014
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Hi and thank you for the great review - glad you enjoyed my bit of humour!
Steve
Comment from Keturah Martin
This is quite an exaggerated masterpiece with good rhyme and rhythm. It holds the attention of the reader and uses good description. Keep up the good work and don't get too engulfed in clinics and bacteria.
reply by the author on 08-Jan-2014
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This is quite an exaggerated masterpiece with good rhyme and rhythm. It holds the attention of the reader and uses good description. Keep up the good work and don't get too engulfed in clinics and bacteria.
Comment Written 06-Jan-2014
reply by the author on 08-Jan-2014
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Thanks, Keturah
Steve