All Those Puzzling Pieces
Viewing comments for Chapter 31 "Asleep in the Sun"What makes a life? How do the pieces fit?
49 total reviews
Comment from Pili Pubul
I think in your questions are all your answers. Excellent poem
written in great style and imagery. Enjoy your freedom under the sun.
An interesting reading, thank you. Pili
reply by the author on 11-Jun-2013
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I think in your questions are all your answers. Excellent poem
written in great style and imagery. Enjoy your freedom under the sun.
An interesting reading, thank you. Pili
Comment Written 11-Jun-2013
reply by the author on 11-Jun-2013
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thank you so much Pili! :))Sharyn
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You very welcome Sharyn
Comment from Cornelius2000
Oh Sharyn, that's a beautiful poem. You're out there in paradise writing these lovely, romantic poems, with exquisite language, and I'm sitting here pounding out verse. But better that than the opposite. You are awesome.
reply by the author on 11-Jun-2013
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Oh Sharyn, that's a beautiful poem. You're out there in paradise writing these lovely, romantic poems, with exquisite language, and I'm sitting here pounding out verse. But better that than the opposite. You are awesome.
Comment Written 11-Jun-2013
reply by the author on 11-Jun-2013
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Bless you Dave - I'm sorry I've been so preoccupied this last couple of weeks with little time to write/review etc. Have you posted some new work??? I have a whole new respect for people who write STORIES! they're such HARD WORK!!! It takes me at least a week to turn one out and I make so many false starts - but there is FINALLY (so far) that wonderful 'aha!' moment when the pen just goes for it and the characters start to be real. But what a battle to get there! GRR! Poetry is far easier. Bless you for your lovely six on this one!
big hugs
Sharyn
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Hi Sharyn: I've done a couple of little story thingies for contests, but mostly have been writing verse. If you check my portfolio you'll find an assortment of recent pieces. I may be in the running for today's "prompt," with a piece called "Procrastination."
Yes, the stories take much longer, need more proofing and editing and open one to lots more typos and other errors. Hugs, Dave
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It's more the storyline/plotting I find so hard Dave - it's hard to get to that point where your characters actually have 'life' and when it happens, it's GREAT - but boy, getting to that point is sometimes exhausting! GRRR! I'll go take a peek and see what you've been up to.
:)S
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Received your review,thanks for checking it out. Dave
Comment from Opal H.
(in continuation of your tale)... and then you get a sunburn. Just kidding! ;) I had to say that. Great poem, though! We should all take a break under the sun sometimes!!
reply by the author on 11-Jun-2013
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(in continuation of your tale)... and then you get a sunburn. Just kidding! ;) I had to say that. Great poem, though! We should all take a break under the sun sometimes!!
Comment Written 11-Jun-2013
reply by the author on 11-Jun-2013
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ABSOLUTELY some sunburn Opal! I've always loved that feeling of closing my eyes and just 'soaking' up sunshine for a while!
:)S
Comment from nancyjam
Sounds so peaceful, lying in the sun, feeling its warmth,
and the winds flowing over you.
Wonderful imagery as you contemplate the advantages of being
alone.
Your last line has an extra "I" (I might finally (I) be free. Nancy
reply by the author on 11-Jun-2013
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Sounds so peaceful, lying in the sun, feeling its warmth,
and the winds flowing over you.
Wonderful imagery as you contemplate the advantages of being
alone.
Your last line has an extra "I" (I might finally (I) be free. Nancy
Comment Written 11-Jun-2013
reply by the author on 11-Jun-2013
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oops! thx Nancy - I changed it at the last minute - thx for the catch! :)S
Comment from Gungalo
Well did it ever occur to you that it might be a combination of all of these circumstances? You might actually be free but is your heart ever gonna let go?
reply by the author on 11-Jun-2013
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Well did it ever occur to you that it might be a combination of all of these circumstances? You might actually be free but is your heart ever gonna let go?
Comment Written 11-Jun-2013
reply by the author on 11-Jun-2013
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no problem Gungalo! :)))
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LOL
Comment from Taffspride
After a brief thunderstorm, I went out onto the lanai and fell asleep in the sun. But I had no worries or cares.
When I read your well written poem, there was a feeling of sadness, but also of anticipation in it. Anticipation of being able to please ones self. Not having to please another.
Thanks for sharing Sharyn
Iechyd da
Ann
reply by the author on 11-Jun-2013
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After a brief thunderstorm, I went out onto the lanai and fell asleep in the sun. But I had no worries or cares.
When I read your well written poem, there was a feeling of sadness, but also of anticipation in it. Anticipation of being able to please ones self. Not having to please another.
Thanks for sharing Sharyn
Iechyd da
Ann
Comment Written 11-Jun-2013
reply by the author on 11-Jun-2013
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thx so much Ann! :)S
Comment from MizKat
This is a beautiful poem, Sharyn. I enjoyed the read. I absolutely love being alone with no man in my life and not any strive. Kat
reply by the author on 11-Jun-2013
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This is a beautiful poem, Sharyn. I enjoyed the read. I absolutely love being alone with no man in my life and not any strive. Kat
Comment Written 11-Jun-2013
reply by the author on 11-Jun-2013
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thx Kat! :))S
Comment from Patti R.
I'm trembling! Wishing in a way that it happening for me...
The last three lines in particular make my heart beat a bit faster...I have no fear of being alone, I've been alone.
I have a stronger fear of being held captive, living in someone else's world. Doing, breathing, toiling just to further him, and if you tell me I'm a good little 'helpmate' I will vomit!!
This poem has tremendous flow! Sort of haibunish, sans the haiku.
Loved it.
Patti
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reply by the author on 11-Jun-2013
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I'm trembling! Wishing in a way that it happening for me...
The last three lines in particular make my heart beat a bit faster...I have no fear of being alone, I've been alone.
I have a stronger fear of being held captive, living in someone else's world. Doing, breathing, toiling just to further him, and if you tell me I'm a good little 'helpmate' I will vomit!!
This poem has tremendous flow! Sort of haibunish, sans the haiku.
Loved it.
Patti
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The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 11-Jun-2013
reply by the author on 11-Jun-2013
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we vibe similarly Patti, believe me. :)
Comment from Curly Girly
It sounds nice and warm there...I'll try and not be envious. To be free from somebody whose presence is no longer enjoyed - oh, what relief.
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reply by the author on 11-Jun-2013
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It sounds nice and warm there...I'll try and not be envious. To be free from somebody whose presence is no longer enjoyed - oh, what relief.
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The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 11-Jun-2013
reply by the author on 11-Jun-2013
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thx Nicole! :)S